Tuesday, May 29, 2007

UGH



This 'ain't' no picnic!

It's a damn roller coaster of a process! My fellow waiting parents can attest that this is truly an almost next to impossible task we face. The WAIT. It's excruciating. One minute there are incredible rumors that things are picking up and that the next referral is going to to be a big one. Then the crushing news that this may not be true. And we continue to creep along. I feel so frustrated. I am angry. I am questioning everything! I want to hide in my corner and pull a blanket over my head. I will not eat. I will not binge on nuts and popcorn. I will not cry and scream. I will remain strong and keep focused on the prize. I know the best things in life take time and patience. Today, two people who never ask me how the baby is coming along, asked. I felt stupid when I answered "well we are seven months down but I have no idea if I have 12 or 16 or 20 to go!" I wish I wish i wish we knew. Please someone come out with a statement that definitively answers how long this wait will be. Someone tell us that the referrals will be x amount a month. Someone tell us something. Reading rumors online is not the answer. The good rumors are awesome, the bad are like being punched really hard in the stomach. I think the entire Waiting Family community would be thrilled knowing more then we do. No complaints. The wait is the wait. The time will pass and we will be with our children. I just want to be able to have some idea when this dream that I share with so many will come true.

2 comments:

Daniella said...

I feel exactly like you today - I said I wouldn't get hooked on the rumors but it was such a positive one, how could I not and now of course, it doesn't look so great. I too wish I could just answer with a number - I feel like I say "oh a year from now we should be close" but who the heck knows. It is frustrating. Glad to be taking the crazy ride with you -

The Blessing that is LIA said...

Thank god for people like you Daniella. xoxox