Thursday, September 28, 2006

This is interesting

When babies are left at the orphanages in China, the law requires that the caregivers must try to find their families. I am not sure of the exact rule behind this, so forgive me, but I do know that the Government places these finding outs. It lists where and when the babies were found, and I suppose where they are now. What is amazing is that these sometime are the first photos that parents receive. There is actually a company that goes and and finds the ads for you once you get your referral.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Today was a big day Lia

One day when our Lia is reading this she will know that today was a very big day.
It came in a simple email from the agency "Wendi we received your I 700 from the are DTC today!!!" Those few words have literally sent me flying!!! The work is down...all of our paperwork for our daughter is on its way to China!!!!

I'm going to be a mommy. A real mommy with the most loved and special little girl in the whole world.

I am so excited for you Lia. Your daddy and I love you so much. I want to share this with my stepchildren, Adam and Annie...but we are waiting to tell them in person when they are with us over Christmas!! Lia completes our circle..and I pray that they are as happy about this as I am.

I came home from work tonite...and there was a big vase of roses. A simple card said..." To the best mom in the world!" xoxoxo

Of course, it was from my husband Joey....I love you sweetie.



Tuesday, September 26, 2006

A warning for all

O'k, I might not have my baby in my tummy. But, I think that I may have "Paper-Pregnancy" symptoms. I had an argument with my sweet momma...sorry mom. I was freaking out! Basically, we need to get the I700 (let's call it the visa) certified by the Chinese consulate. The agency sent it and it takes four to five days. Then we are bound for China...anyway, it didn't come in today. She promises that it will be there tomorrow...but I was upset...and I started to whine! I needed to "kvetch". My mother said "Calm down, Calm down"...I barked back at her and actually hung up the phone. Then she had my poor sweet dad call me back and try to calm me down. Oh they mean well...and they love me...but you know what people...WHEN A PREGNANT WOMAN WITH A BIG FAT TUMMY CARRIES ON..SHE GETS AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE "SHE IS PREGNANT!"....Over the course of the next year, I know that I will be nuts. I am warning everyone that is around me....from Kristen J in my office to my sister Lori to my nieces to my step children to my parents and of course to my husband....please don't say CALM DOWN! I am "paper-pregnant" and my moods are going to be up and down. They are going to keep me up at nite and I bet, yes I bet that I will have a few cravings as well! It's just the same ....I am worried, I am anxious, I am excited. I want my baby to be healthy and happy. I want to hold my baby. Sounds like a pregnant mom, right? I love you all and I apologize up front for any craziness.

Monday, September 25, 2006

One more thing

I found this photo on line. It makes me so sad, yet happy to know that our daughters seem to be so well taken care of. Thank god for all the "aunties" who watch our babies. They are very special people. Please god, make sure that our Lia Rose Carroll is being watched over tonite. Make sure she is well fed, warmly dressed, and hugged when she cries.

The wait

Today was a good day for so many. The referrals I'm learning come once a month. In the past several months they have only been matching about a week and a half's worth (or something like that) Do the math, that can mean a very long wait time. However, today's match was over two weeks worth! So this is some positive movement. I am obsessed. I realize that. I literally can spend 24 hours a day on the internet reading blogs and message boards. There is so much great information and it's wonderful to read about families getting their referrals. It gives you so much hope. I woke up in the middle of the nite and snuck a look on the Rumor Queens site. This is the coolest website She (or he come to think about it) is a waiting mom or herself. She tracks down all the latest news and rumors. It can become a bit addictive and at times upsetting to read the fact my agency yelled at me and told me to relax and read more about Chinese culture and less Rumor Queen :) ....She posted right away the referral timing directly from the CCAA site. It was good to see this positive movement.

I called my agency again....and I'll call everday this week if I have to....they said "you will definetly be DTC" this week. It might not sound like a big deal to some if it's this week or next...but every single day counts. She told me that my agency had seven referrals today and that they were all so cute!!!! Please keep your fingers crossed for us. Baby L we are coming for you soon!!!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Lia's family, mom's side

A silly picture from Rosh Hashana, taken by Grandad...that's Uncle Greg, Daddy, Auntie Lori and Mommy, Hayley, Sydney, Grandmom and Uncle Ray and Aunt Myra in front. The cute little girl on the left is Addie! (not sure why Daddy isn't smiling, might be from my sister's cooking!)

This mom is back

I was away in Palm Beach for a few days on a business trip. We had tons of time to relax, so it was just what the doctor ordered. I tried not to think about the adoption, yeah sure. I couldn't do anything but! I told everyone there I was going to be a mom...and the reception was so warm and so genuinelly happy for me. When I got home, I called my agency to check up on my paperwork....I was told that we should definetly be "DTC" this coming week!!!! This is a very big deal...what this means is Dossier to China....all the papers are sent to the CCAA which manages all the adoptions. Then a few weeks later, we will receive the "LOG IN DATE" ...then the official wait begins. I know that this doesn't make sense for those outside the adoption community, but for those of us in it....this is HUGE....we are officially "pregnant" and the countdown is on. The work is done, and now we wait. Today I had lunch with Chris (Hi Chris, if you check the blog). It was wonderful! We met online thru the adoption message boards. She lives very close by, so it was good to finally get together. It was fabulous to talk to someone who totally understands. Her and her hubby have a LID of late May, so I can't wait to watch her get her referral next Spring/early Summer.... these connections are huge for us and for our daughters. It's very exciting, and I can't wait to meet the others. I am hoping that my hubby can join me at some of the special events that are held for "waiting families", he is always so busy with work, but for both of us, these opportunities will just make the time go by and the fact that we are having a baby together, be more "real"...we are having a baby!!! Baby L...can't wait till you are here!!!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Not a bad time

Lucky me. I am on a business trip in Palm Beach Florida. Right now I am staring out the window at the simply beautiful Atlantic Ocean. I hear the waves, I see the vast open space as the ocean just reaches far out into the world. It's amazing this world. It brings us altogether in ways we can't even lucky are we to experience this.

Anyway, I spoke to the agency yesterday...Ruthie, the agency director, emailed and said that she felt for sure that we would be DTC this month. The bummer is that it will be another 14 months from Log in date to placement....but you know what, stranger things have happened and I am going to keep an open heart and open mind that this could change and become a faster referral. Lia will be with us when she is supposed to. In the meantime we have alot to do. I want to solidify some professional things I need to..(which I'll keep to myself for now) hubby has a bad hip, and we need to fix that. Most importantly,we will also get my step kids used to this idea of a little half sister.....which I am sure they will be happy about....I want to share this great news with them....and look forward to the holidays when we can!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

A moment of great clairty

For for too long I longed for a family. My life felt so incomplete. I needed to be a mom.
I met my husband almost five years ago (yes, can you believe it's that long) and my life changed so much. I moved out of a small walk up apartment in New York City. I actually bought Real Estate in New Jersey...and love it. I am of course about to be a mommy....and the list could go on and on. I want and need a family. Giving "birth" to my daughter will be the final step I need to take. Tonite however, I had a great moment of clairty. I do have that family that I crave, Lia is just the missing piece. On our Yahoo message boards our signatures tell a quick story about each of us. I looked at mine, and in a moment of great clairty I saw how full my life really was...I'm surrounded by the children I crave and need. I thank my husband for giving me everything that I desire. Joey, you are my dream come true and I love you so very much. Thank you for giving us join the rest of the crew!

Dh Joe> Awaiting DTC> Mom to be to Lia Rose, my first...and I'm 45! >
Stepmum to Adam (19)> Stepmum to Annie (13 1/2)>
Mom to Molly (my doggie)>
Auntie to Hayley, Sydney and Addie (13, 11, and 5)

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Jewish Neurosis

I really can't believe this is happening. I think it is really feeling "more real". The approval means the package goes to China, and then we wait for her. I will not let myself think of how anything can go wrong. There, I said it. But I won't anymore. It's all about positive energy and positive thinking. Like any mother with a baby due, you worry. As a Jewish person, I worry more :). No seriously, Jewish expectant moms don't even tell anyone until three months. And you really aren't supposed to bring anything into the house. There is a Yiddish expression I use. I am totally mis-spelling and maybe even using it incorrectly it but I will write it out phonetically---"ken-a-her-a "you don't want to "kenahera" it, but I'm going to have a baby!!!!" (Translation: you don't want to jinx it, but I'm going to have a baby) So the question for me will be when do I actually start buying stuff?....I see others are already doing it...But I am still a neurotic Jewish gal, and I'm not sure I should. Yet, I want to. I guess , it can't hurt!!!!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Officially expecting!

Look at the sonogram!!! It's true!

One step closer!!!!!!


We got it!!!! We got the approval to bring an orphan into this country!!!! This is it people...the last step before it gets sent to China...the next very important date is the DTC ...Dossier to China date....that's when the countdown really begins.

I can't tell you how happy I am. It's a huge relief to get this!!!! I am actually very proud of the work that it took us to get to this point. I have probably been a huge pain in the butt to my dear husband (dh) Joe, because I've been so stressed to get this all together...but we did it!!!!
I called everyone...first of course , Joe...who was hard at work, as usual....they I called my nieces....Hayley and Sydney, they were so excited...Hayley told me that "you will be the best mom Aunt Wendi"...and Sydney was screaming....of course the baby , Addison was sleeping, so we didn't want to wake her, but apparently, she is a "little jealous" because Lia will be spoiled and she won't anymore! I also called my parents, my friends Judy, David, Amy, Alysa, Kristen B, Kristen J, and of course my sister. My mom and I also called my Aunt and Uncle Dorothy and Mike...I've been waiting for the special time to tell them that we are naming them Lia's godgrandparents! They don't have grandkids, so I want to make sure, like me not having a child...they get their granddaughter! I am soooo excited...I was dieing to share this information with my stepkids, Adam and Annie, but we are waiting until they are share the big news....
Now, this is so remarkable to me...but the date of approval was 9/11/06. The day is so important to me for so many reasons. There is the obvious...and that day changed my life as well as everyone's but I feel that after going thru that days' events, I opened my heart, and met my true husband, just a few months later...almost to the day. It's so symbolic, that this day will mark a pivotal day in our daughter and our life. Then, another "sign" to me ...and I didn't realize this until my mom pointed it out...but 9/11 was my grandmom Rose Leah's wedding anniversary....who knows, another fitting sign, that Lia Rose is one step closer!!!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

These are the wonderful faces of newly placed babies...aren't they beautiful.I put these all together to focus on the future and visualize what Lia Rose may look like.I love this. I hope you enjoy that face, that face that marvelous face!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Not getting excited yet

So yesterday was the saddest day in the world. 9/11. Isn't it strange, that for those 24 hours, you remember ever feeling and emotion that you felt during that awful day. I decided yesterday that I wanted to make something wonderful, I called immigration. It's the Orphan office or something like that. I very nicely asked for Yowanda, the woman in charge. She actually answered the phone. In the sweetest voice I could muster I said....hi, I was wondering if you had any idea when my I71 would be ready....I gave her my name and my hubby's...she put me on hold, and I prayed. And the words I needed to hear came out of her mouth..."it's right here on my desk and it should go out this week!!!!" I actually told the woman I loved her!!!! I called my agency right away and told them the news....if all works out o'k...and I hate to say this, because I don't want to jinx...we could be DTC within two weeks!!!! That is a pivotal day in our journey. So, I'll write no more about this until it actually happens...but keep the good thoughts coming our way. Lia Rose, just another step closer to you baby girl!!!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

September 11

So sorry I haven't written. I haven't been feeling great. I pulled my back out and really have been in pain. I think I needed sometime from sitting up on the computer, and that did the trick. I also am in a state of denial. I am so overwhelmed with fear that something will go wrong with this adoption. Maybe that is why I am avoiding the Blog. I love this little girl so much, and I'm afraid that it won't happen. Tomorrow is September 11th. I am in denial about that as well. That day changed everything. But the good that came out of it for me was that I opened up my heart, and soon after met my husband. I remember reading all the profiles about the victims. How they had full lives with loves and families. That is what I wanted as well. And I hope to god that I am on my way to creating that. I am staying calm now. I have to. For what else can I do. I love the idea of Lia, and I hope to create the reality of her. In a celebration of life, we must go on and fulfill our dreams. Please god help me fulfill mine.