Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Working woman

I am sitting in a hotel room....well it's a 750 square two bedroom duplex suite at a Residence Inn in the middle of Pennsylvania. I am on a business trip, which is always fun. To get out of the daily grind and have your outfit picked out for tomorrow is quite relaxing. Plus, knowing all your meals are paid for, not to bad. I don't travel that much with my job, but from time to time, a business trip calls and I travel. I started thinking today what it will be like when I am a mommy ... a working mommy. I have no choice with that situation. Financially, it is called for. And that is o'k. It is what it is. I love my job and my professional success. My baby will be taken care of. Thankfully she will have a loving daddy who will be with her when a business trip calls. It's the day to day I wonder about. I want to be able to continue to give my job the energy it needs for success and more importantly, I want to give Lia Rose all the energy she deserves. I think that working moms are pretty incredible. I think that stay at home's are as wells...I just need to learn how to do it all. How will I manage? I will have no choice. I will learn how to make it work. How to get home in time to be able to spend quality moments with Lia Rose?.How to leave in the morning without regretting every second I am away from her? How to spend my days at the office, focusing on work, and not feeling guilty for not thinking of my baby?. How to be there when she is sick? How to be there when she is scared? How to be where I need to be when my boss calls? I know, it's a challenge. I am up for that challenge. Lia Rose I promise to make you proud and to be there for you always.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


I hate this picture of me (on the right), my sister looks friend Susan suggested that I do this....this weekend everyone thought we looked exactly alike...we don't see it? Do you?
Please comment below and answer this question: Do Lori and Wendi look alike.

What's in a number?

Alot can happen in four months.... fall moves into winter, winter into almost spring .
Well, I have been waiting a whole four months to say this...we are four months LID today! Yee haw...we move forward. Estimates say that referrals are between 15 and 16 if we are being postive, we could say right now that we could possibly get this referral in 12 months! I know I know...the line keeps slowing down...but I want to stay positive, it's only a number!!!!

Monday, February 26, 2007

13 going on....

Or I should say, almost 46 going on 13! I had so much fun this weekend. It was Addie's birthday and my sister, the best mom in the world, had a beautiful party for her at a place where the kids get to pick their own pottery and paint it. Soooo cute. A bunch of little six year olds who just ruled. Then I got to hang out with my niece Hayley and her gang of beautiful friends. All 13 years old. These kids are so sharp, and so together. Were we this way when we were young? No way. I was gawky and geeky. They are just so confident and have a way about them that is just too much. My sister yelled at me when I tried to step into the group of cheerleaders and join in their conversation! I forgot that they were so much younger then me! Come on!!! I want to be a cheerleader . The only thing is I didn't spend enough time with Sydney, my almost 12 year old niece, who kicked me out of her bedroom on Sunday morning because she wanted some "peace!"

Friday, February 23, 2007

Happy Birthday Addison Michaela

Six years ago my sweet little Addie was born! I love this little girl with all my heart. She actually melts my heart, and is as excited for Lia as I am ! I love you Addie are absolutely the dearest thing to me! Happy Birthday little girl!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Addie's Chinese New Year

It's funny, when my nieces Hayley and Sydney were younger, Aunt Wendi ruled! Now they are just to busy and "too cool" for me (smile). But, that's what normal middle-school kids do! But my soon to be six year old niece Addie, well, thankfully she is just getting used to the idea that Aunt Wendi is really cool. Today she called me after school..."Aunt Wendi, guess what! We are having a Chinese New Year Party at Hebrew School!" I said, "wow! that is so cool! What did u tell your teacher!?" She said, "I told her that my Aunt Wendi has a daughter in cousin Lia!!" I said, "that is so great u know that it is the year of the pig?" She said, "not it isn't, it's the Year of the Snake!" Addie is a bit confused...when we had lunch with Christine and her daughters Leah and Caroline they told Addie she was born in the year of the Snake. Apparently to Addie, every Chinese New Year is the Year of the Snake ! I love that child! Here are some recent photos of Addie and her sisters!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cracking up

O'k, this blog is for comments and stories relating to the adoption of my baby girl. From time to time I'll write about how I am feeling or something cute that my niece said. I am really trying not to use this blog for comments about anything "news' related....but I just can't help it. With all of this Brittney Spears gossip I am cracking up! And it's not because of the obvious. The fact that Brittney shaved her head, or wore a mini with no's the fact that there are two innocent victims here. Preston and Jaden. These babies, they need their mommy. What gives Brit? Mommy-hood doesn't mean you pack it all in and stop having fun, but come on. Brittney get some help. You wanted to become a mother and poof, you got your boys. You have all the money and the fame in the world to make them proud. I am sorry you are young and never had a childhood. Sorry about the marriage. Too bad. You have a responsibility. A big one and you know what, if you are unable to handle it those babies need to be raised by someone who can. I'm available! So are thousands of others who are longing to become mothers. Don't waste this. Don't regret missing out on their lives and thoroughly screwing those boys up. Don't do it. Get some help girlfriend, and grow up! (Don't get me started about Anna Nicole) Special thanks to my sister Lori, for being as equally addicted to certain celebrity stories of the day!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Any dream experts out there?

I had to share this dream I had last nite. Oprah was doing a show on the "Secret". Speaking about the "Laws of Attraction." The show was in a webcast and I was watching it on the web. As she started the show this is what she said, "Before we start tonite's show, I have to say that this show is dedicated to Lia Rose and we can't wait until she is with her mother." I woke up thinking, did that really just happen??? Pretty cool.

Gung Hay Fat Choy

Gung Hay Fat Choy....Happy New Year! Today marks the start of the Chinese New Year. This is the Year of the pig. "The pig is one of 12 animals (or mythical animals in the case of the dragon) on the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac, which follows the lunar calendar. According to Chinese astrology, people born in pig years are polite, honest, hardworking and loyal. They are also supposed to be lucky, which is why many Chinese like to have babies in a pig year." (From an AP Article on AOL) Could our Lia be born in the Year of the Pig???? Interesting....maybe a baby boom in China to make lucky babies? Happy Chinese New Year to all!

Friday, February 16, 2007

The date

The other day I sat at a Chinese restaurant and wrote the following ....

For me the passage of time is marked when the calendar hits the 27th. In October it fell on a Friday. In January a Saturday. Doesn't matter the day-but the date matters oh so much. I check it off the calendar in delight and carefully calculate how many more to come. You see, I am an expectant parent. A mother for the first time at the young age of 46. My baby will be born from another women. Her father, a man that looks nothing like my husband. I am adopting. The date 10/27/06 means everything to me as this is the date I am logged into my child's country of birth. From that day forward I watch the days roll by. It is a very calculated system this adoption process. Adoption files are logged in and the matching begins in order of log in. There are thousands of others before me. The wait begins and then it continues. My emotions can be all over the place. I am expecting. Just like those who are biologically pregnant. I will love my baby as deeply as they. Care for only the best for her. Be proud of her. Spare no expense for her. Just plain simply love her. The wait is the wait. My age is my age. It simply is what it is.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


Ok...I try not to complain. I really do. I can't stand it today though! I don't feel well at all! I have some sort of stomach aliment....haven't been able to really eat in about a week (not a bad thing) just very nasuous and uncomfortable. Saw doctor, doing some tests, but probably an upper abdominal infection. And to top it off, I keep tasting a chinese steamed chicken dumpling that I ate days ago, and it's absolutely grossing me out everytime I think of it! Anyway...I'll be fine...but it sure does feel good to "kvetch!"

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Feb the 14th

Happy Valentine's Day to all! It's a wet and icy one here in NYC! I was thinking this morning that today is all about love and there are just so many things that we love....the love for your spouse, the love for your partner, the love for your boyfriend/girlfriend, the love for your child, the love for you soon to be child,the love for your parents, aunts and uncles, the love for your stepchildren, the love for your dogs and pets, the love for your friends, the love for your co-workers, the love for you neighbors, the love for your nieces, the love for your sister, the love for your brother, the love for your brother in law, the love for your sister in law,the love for your boss, the love for your cousin, the love for your clients, the love for your work, the love for your hobbies, the love for your favorite color, the love for your neighbors, the love of your friends,hte love of your online community, the love for your favorite pair of shoes, the love for working out, the love of snow, the love of sushi,the love of your body, the love of your hair,the love of film, the love of music, the love for your country, the love for your child's country.....on this day of love, remember how lucky you are to have so many things to love! And a happy birthday to my stepson Adam who is 20 years old today! I hope he finds many things to love and feel lots of love this year!

Monday, February 12, 2007

A mother's love-it's not a secret

Today I am in one of those moods. Maybe it was because I saw all those adoptive families yesterday with these wonderful little girls. Maybe it's because ...well maybe it just because....bottom line, I am so in love with this baby of mine. A baby that doesn't even really belong to me now. It's so crazy. Lia is just as real as anything to me. She is a part of me. She is in my heart. I can feel her, I can smell her sweetness and taste her richness. She is extraordinary and to think I haven't even met her yet. Is this odd? Is this how pregnant know the kind, with the big bellies, is this the way they feel? Is it hormonal? Is it just what they call "being maternal." All around me the past few weeks-from my Blog makeover queen Heather to my Coach Jille to Oprah Winfrey there is is this talk about something called "The Secret". Bottom line, it's the law of attraction-what we put out, we will get back. Perhaps this has something to do with my feelings ...perhaps these feelings will grow and grow until Lia and I meet. Maybe these feelings are attracting someone over in China to believe in their hearts that their baby has a forever mommy and daddy in America that will make her life special. Maybe somewhere in China, I'm attracting a young couple to make love and conceive this special angel. I don't know why I am feeling so strongly about this attraction principle. Can this mother's love transcend the miles and miles of the world to attract my baby to me....?
(check out Heather's new blog:

In the news today

Off of the website.....any thoughts?

Study: Adoptive Parents Invest More in Their Children
NEW YORK (AP) -- Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children than biological parents, according to a new national study challenging arguments that have been used to oppose same-sex marriage and gay adoption.The study, published in the new issue of the American Sociological Review, found that couples who adopt spend more money on their children and invest more time on such activities as reading to them, eating together and talking with them about their problems."One of the reasons adoptive parents invest more is that they really want children, and they go to extraordinary means to have them,'' Indiana University sociologist Brian Powell, one of the study's three co-authors, said in a telephone interview Monday. Powell's co-authors were Laura Hamilton, a doctoral student at Indiana University, and Simon Cheng, a sociology professor at the University of Connecticut."Adoptive parents face a culture where, to many other people, adoption is not real parenthood,'' Powell said. "What they're trying to do is compensate. ... They recognize the barriers they face, and it sets the stage for them to be better parents.''Powell and his colleagues examined data from 13,000 households with first-graders in the family. The data was part of a detailed survey called the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study, sponsored by the U.S. Department of Education and other agencies.The researchers said 161 families in the survey were headed by two adoptive parents, and they rated better overall than families with biological parents on an array of criteria -- including helping with homework, parental involvement in school, exposure to cultural activities and family attendance at religious services. The only category in which adoptive parents fared worse was the frequency of talking with parents of other children.The researchers noted that adoptive couples, in general, were older and wealthier than biological parents, but said the adoptive parents still had an advantage--_ albeit smaller -- when the data was reanalyzed to account for income inequality.In particular, the researchers said, adoptive parents had a pronounced edge over single-parent and stepparent families.The researchers said their findings call into question the long-standing argument that children are best off with their biological parents. Such arguments were included in state Supreme Court rulings last year in New York and Washington that upheld laws against same-sex marriage.The researchers said gay and lesbian parents may react to discrimination by taking extra, compensatory steps to promote their children's welfare."Ironically, the same social context that creates struggles for these alternative families may also set the stage for them to excel in some measures of parenting,'' the study concluded.An opponent of same-sex marriage, Peter Sprigg of the conservative Family Research Counsel, noted that the study focused on male/female adoptive couples, not on same-sex couples, and he questioned whether it shed any new light on adoptive parenting by gays.Sprigg, the research council's vice president for policy, said he warmly supports adoption, but believes it is best undertaken by married, heterosexual couples.Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, welcomed the study's findings, but cautioned against possibly exaggerated interpretations of it."It's an affirmation that there are all sorts of families that are good for kids,'' he said. "Adoptive parents aren't less good or better. They just bring different benefits to the table. In terms of how families are formed, it should be a level playing field.''The study was funded by the National Science Foundation, the Spencer Foundation and the American Educational Research Association

Sunday, February 11, 2007

A nice day out of bed

Today I ventured out of bed for the first time in several days. Not to bad! I feel much better, although pretty tired right now. Anyway, Joe and I attended a Families with Children from China New Year Celebration. It was at a place called the Majestic Buffet, about 20 minutes from here. So much food! We walked in a little overwhelmed-wherever you looked you just spotted the most precious little girls....fortunetly one of my Waiting Family buddies Chris and her husband Tim were there. We joined them at their table. It was a really sweet day. Also joining us was the most wonderful family. There were two biological daughters and two adopted chinese daughters -3 and 3.5 years old. Plus another son at home! This mommy is pretty special. Her one chinese daughter, Lea (yes another one!) was actually home just five months . What a beauties all her kids were. At one point her daughter Keira (3.5 year old) let me dance with her. It was so cute. She stood on the stage by herself and just shook her booty! Then she started holding herself which is the universal sign for ...I gotta pee pee! What a cutie! I am glad Joe got to join me at the event. It's really important for me to feel apart of this community. It was a room filled with families started just like mine. It's a strong connection to me, and one I feel very happy to have.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


Yuck, I've been sick for days! Came down with something and haven't even wanted to sit up at the computer. But,I am sick of being sick, and hopefully will start feeling much better. Tomorrow we are supposed to go to a Chinese New Year's Party at a Chinese Restaurant nearby. It's something that I've really been looking forward to. A bunch of folks of waiting families will be there....and Joe even took off from work. So hopefully, we will be there. More later...time for chicken soup!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

So they say there are less babies

Part two: Notes from the seminar I attended. In the discussion the future of Chinese adoption, there is great evidence that numbers of abandoned healthy baby girls have declined. Wonderful right? Less abandonment. Less orphans. But how in a country of millions did these numbers go down so much? One of the speakers stated that there is great evidence that a few things are happening.( Please note, there is no confirmed research on this, but just observations and assumptions.) Once, as noted in my previous posting, some of these babies being born are actually being kept by those that find them and illegally adopted. The consequences will be harsh in their future when these children have to be registered for school etc, yet people are still doing this. Secondly, there is great evidence of selective abortions. Ultra Sound machines are now available in areas where there once weren't. Mothers are finding out they are having a baby girl, and decide to make this choice. This by the way is illegal to do. And once again, China is encouraging Foster parenting. As a foster parent you actually receive benefits that an adoptive parent does not. Again, all the speakers made note that the CCAA truly has the best interests of the child at heart. Anyway, that's the main notes I took. It was really interesting and I am thrilled to have this forum to share.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Rice Pot is Waiting for Rice

Tonite I attended a very interesting seminar that was sponsored by the FCCNY (Families with Children from China). It was entitled the "Future of Chinese Adoption" and it was a discussion with six panelists about their thoughts and insights as to what was going on. It was held at the Asia Society on Park Ave and 70th Street. Wow! What an insightful and interesting group of people. First off, I met one of the wonderful women in my adoption LID group....Rose! (Audrey we missed you!) She is fabulous and I am so glad we got to meet tonite! There is just so much to say. Much of it was a rehash of what we have been hearing for awhile...wait times are long, there are more dossiers then babies, and most importantly for Rose, Audrey and myself, our families are absolutely "grandfathered" in. The new rules that go into effect on 5/1, will not affect us. We have heard that before, but it was great to hear it in person. Anyway, I took so many notes, I don't know where to start, but I think I'll start where the event ended. A gentleman by the name of Gongzhan Wu, manager of the China Adoption Program at the Gladney Center for Adoption spoke. He had literally just returned from Bejing and had met with the CCAA last week. He read a list of important points. I will list them here. Please remember, these are my notes, and hopefully the information is 100% accurate-the gist of it will be. Mr. Wu met last week with the Executive Director of the CCAA, Mr. Lee last week. Mr. Lee stated that the CCAA was talking about making the changes in the adoption rules for the last two years. They decided to go thru with them because of the increase in the dossiers of prospective parents and the decrease in eligible babies. He made mention (and this fact may not be 100%) that there are 25,000 dossiers and 600 babies per month. Mr. Lee stated to Mr. Wu, that even after the announcement of the rules changes, 100's of dossiers were received. They are aware that there is a real rush to get them in before 5/1/07. Mr. Wu stated that the wait times may continue to get longer in the coming months "at least". The CCAA emphasized that they continue to give priority to what is in the best interest of the child. Mr. Wu explained that there have been some interesting changes in the one child policy. China is not going to penalize families with more then one child, but will actually give families with one child financial benefits, including retirement benefits, and monthly stipends. Domestic adoption is considered a good thing. In fact some of the orphanages find it easier then international. Mr. Wu explained the Domestic adoption policies do not fall under the legislation of the CCAA. This may change, and they make try to combine.The CCAA doesn't have all of the babies, many are in systems that aren't under their control. This they are trying to change. The CCAA is visiting orphanages and encouraging Directors to put their babies up for adoption. Very interestedly, CCAA expected that the rules changes would cause a 15% decrease in dossiers. Many US agencies are reporting a 40% decrease in qualified parents. Also, something I never thought of...there are thousands of illegal adoptions, where infants are found and kept by the finder. The most important thing that Mr. Wu said, "old Chinese expression, The Rice Pot is waiting for Rice"...he said this is what is happening at the CCAA ...they are waiting for the babies. I'll post more on the seminar tomorrow....nite nite.

Monday, February 05, 2007

It is a cold one

This weekend I met my new friend Christine and her two beautiful daughters who she adopted from China. They were precious-Caroline and Leah! Yes, another Leah. I brought Addie with me and we had a great time together. My parents joined us as well. I thank you Christine for answering alot of questions from us all. The very cool thing is that she is also logged in for her third, and it's just about the same time as us! Her daughters are delicious, and I can't wait to hang out again! Addie said it best..."they are funny!" In other news, it's freezing out. Beyond belief. I look like a bear when I am outside...but I guess everyone else does too. Gotta go, blogging from work! Trying not to spend all nite on the computer. Stay's a cold one !

Friday, February 02, 2007

Lori's gift

Here's what I decided to get my sister. It's a beautiful necklace from Red As you can see, on the front it has Chinese words that spell out Mother and Daughter. I thought she would appreciate this as she is the best mother I know, and has been one of my biggest supporters thru this whole process. O'k, and Joe, don't get mad...I bought myself one too! It's an early Valentine's don't have to get me anything :)

Happy Weekend

Happy weekend! I also have to shout out loud, I made it to the gym two times this week! Which might not seem that much, but it's been a few weeks or shall I say months since I have gone...with Joe's surgery, my stepkids here...yada yada, u know the deal! I can feel the pudginess in my thighs and tummy, and I hate it!!! So, it's back to the gym!!! Yeah, and I feel goal is to start out slow, at least three times a week!
That's my plan.
I am heading down to Philly this weekend. Not only is it my sister's birthday celebration, but I am meeting up with one of my new adoption friends. We met through business associates, and it turns out our LIDs are two days apart! She has two Chinese daughters, and I am so excited to meet them! I am bringing my niece Addie along. She's the same age as the girls, so that should be fun. My mom may join us as well. Anyway, I better hit the sack, it's been a long week at work, and I am pretty tired!!! Happy weekend!!!!

Slowly but surely moving along

Thursday, February 01, 2007


Yeah, the next batch of referrals came into today! They matched up until 10/13/05, or at least thats what I am hearing! As you know, Joe and I are logged in 10/27/06, so you can see how long this could be...but, CONGRATS TO THE NEW MOMS AND DADS!!!!