Saturday, June 30, 2007

My little Kristen

Tonight we were part of a scavenger hunt through-out Manhattan to mark the big send off for my wonderful friend Kristen J. or little Kristen as I like to call her. There is a big Kristen in our life too, we will actually see her tomorrow. Anyway, little Kristen and I met six years ago and spent the day on 9/11 escaping disaster in Downtown Manhattan. We have a bond that will last a lifetime. Little KJo is leaving New York and heading West. She works for Google now and her career is on the fast track. I am beyond proud of her.

We were part of the scavenger hunt of memorable people and places. Everyone else picked a bar or fancy restaurant to meet her. Me, the Shining Star Diner on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. That was my home away from home for years. (Little Kristen and I spent many a lunchtime eating fries and pickles…and that's what I had waiting for her tonight too.) All the waiters knew me. And scary to say, five years since leaving the city, they still remember me. Anyway, it was a walk down memory lane for me tonight as I sat in the Diner and waited for her. I know it sounds strange that a Diner would have such special memories, but if you know me…you understand why. (And by the way "my friend Susan" please don't be angry I didn't call, we were a few blocks away for about an hour, next time). Below is a note that I read and wrote to Kristen. I want to put it on my blog so Lia-Rose knows how important that "kid" is to me. And by the way, she does qualify as a kid at the ripe old age of 31. I love you Kristen and so much luck to you!


 


 

Dearest Kristen,


 

I don't remember the day that I met you because I feel like I've always known you.

We have been thru the worst of times and the best of times. I've watched you grow so much over the past few years. You were a young girl when we met, now a young woman with so much a head of her. I am beyond proud of you. You are my other sister. I couldn't love you more if you were blood. You have a way about you that not many have. You are a star. A bright shining one who I know will always be there when I need her.

Kristen, on that horrible day when we were together, an unbreakable friendship was born. A relationship that will continue to grow no matter where we are.


 

There is an old Chinese saying that I use all the time now. I think it is so applicable in our relationship, it says that there is a "red thread that connects people no matter place, circumstance or time." That's us. We met, we bonded, we became sisters. I will love you forever and ever.


 

Love always,


 


 

Wendi


 


 

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Friday, June 29, 2007

Bon Voyage!


 

So, today is a huge day! My friend Ann Marie, who I know from the "real world" as well as thru the blog-world, is headed to St. Petersburg, Russia to bring her home her son, "The Bee"! He is the most precious angel. I asked her how she felt and she was nervous as we all would be, but she said whenever she thinks of him she knows it is meant to be …it's her son, and she is getting him. How exciting! She truly is the first of my waiting adoption friends who is bringing home her baby! (There are many more of us to come) Ann Marie (comeundone.typepad.com) I wish you only love, luck and happiness as you start this incredible new chapter of your life! May you and your hubby, Zach, have many wonderful times with your family…and the best life ever! You have been more than just a friend to me! Your support is invaluable and I will never ever forget it! Much love!!!! And millions of blog kisses xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

8 Months

And I almost forgot...just looked at the calendar. Wow, in one month, I'd have a baby. Not. But, 8 months.....maybe 16, 17 or 18 to go....I won't go there...come on let's get this going!!! I want to bring my baby home!!!!!!
PS : To Audrey, Rose and Daniella...my fellow 10/27 LID'ers....Happy Lidversary! xoxoox
To my sister, I miss you!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Basic ramblings

A few weeks ago I brainstormed an idea with myself and actually put a suggestion down and sent it to my adoption agency. (Of course I got Ann Marie's approval.) I basically felt that as great as this agency is, they are really stretched thin. My idea was to create a group made of parents who can really filter issues for others and advocate for parents. Additionally, this group would spearhead ideas and events. Bottom-line, communication is key, and this group would work towards increasing it. So long story short, we paired down the idea a bit and the agency agreed to it. They also selected a leader, yep, me! So, I have no idea what I am doing, but I do know what I want to happen. My goal is to make this wait more bearable for others. In my quest to do so, I of course will benefit as well. I can coach, organize and implement, all things I spend my time doing. I just hope this can make even the smallest difference.

In other news, Ann Marie is headed to Russia to pick up Baby Bee in four days! And 'my friend Susan" had great news as well, which are being cautiously optimistic. Lori and the girls are doing great at camp. Yes, I miss them. Yes, Addie is in a big girl bunk and doing great. Summer moves on. This week it will be eight months since LID. Eight months in. Thank god. I start more Advanced Coaching classes next week, so the summer is going to be rather busy for me. Joe thinks I am doing too much. I think if I don't, I'll go crazy. And, although I haven't mentioned it, it's like day 39 on Nutri System. I really have gotten on a scale as I am a very slow loser, and it would discourage me. I have been unbelievably good. My clothes are loser, and my size six jeans, although a bit tight, fit, and they look pretty good. O.k. they are stretch size six jeans, but it still counts. But I have gained control, and I must say, that is an amazing feeling.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Exhaustion

The week is over. I don't think it is necessary to review some of the events of the week, but needless to say, I am tired.. This weekend, Joe and I had plans to visit some friends up in Lowell, Mass. We contemplated cancelling, but with the funeral happening on Friday, we figured it would do us good to keep the plans as is. Our friends up there are special people we both met together five years ago, and we really enjoy being with them. One of the couples was celebrating the graduation of their son Jason, who is a favorite of ours. Now 18, he turned into a great young man and we wish him well in his future endeavors. It was good to get away.


 

It's been a very long week. I can't even think to do much tonight as I'm really drained. So without any contemplation, I am going to just sign off and get in bed. At 7:30pm. I need to refresh, regroup and just relax. Here's to a happy and positive week coming up!

Friday, June 22, 2007



Today we buried my Aunt Helen. This has been the first family funeral since my grandparents died almost thirty years ago. I know I am blessed. I know Helen would have been happy to see us all together. Another Aunt and Uncle came to pay their respects. I made sure to hug them even tighter. My nieces were there as well as my aunt's grandkids and other young beautiful cousins, seeing their youth and smiles made me remember that this is all a natural progression of life.
Today we mourned, we remembered, we cried. My father buried his sister. My cousins, their mother. It hurt me to watch them. My one cousin, who I actually don't really know all that well, was alone. No wife, no partner, no children. Just himself. That broke my heart and I just wanted to grab him and hug him as the coffin lowered into the ground.
As we were leaving the shiva house this afternoon I heard my cousin's next door neighbor's door open. Marching out of the house clutching her nanny's hand was a little girl, a little three year old Chinese girl. (O'k, I know I over-reach at times for connection) and seeing that particular face on this day simply reminded that although these are sad times, there is so much to look forward to.
Life moves us on.....

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Life cycles

In life there are good things....I mean not just good but great times when things are going well and all those around you are ok. Then there are times that aren't so great. It is life and it truly is a matter of functioning during these sadder moments and still knowing how blessed you are. My aunt passed away on Tuesday nite after a six month decline in her health. Not always that close ,in recent years we had reconnected. She was one of the first people I told about the adoption and she was over the top excited for me. In fact at the young age of eighty something Aunt Helen expressed an interest in adopting as well! Her life was not always happy. She struggled with some unhappiness and self-doubts. In the end she had found great peace in a marriage with a someone she truly respected and loved as well as being very proud of her sons. Not to mention she was wildly in love with her granddaughters who are fantastic young girls. Although there were strained relationships at times, I am so blessed to have a real grown up relationship with her at the end. She repected me as an adult and I felt very honored to have been a part of her life. Aunt Helen I send you prayers. I am sad that I did not see you the last few months but have happy memories of our last visit. You are at peace now. Rest.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

For a few hours....

I can’t get into many details. I would like to keep that part private. For a few hours I knew what it would feel like. I had the file in front of me. The pictures. The information. I looked closely to see if I recognized that face. What the connections to us were.

In the end, it was both surreal and overwhelming. The prospect was scary and doubt filled my mind. I gathered my resources together, quickly. Some great friends came to the forefront with help and information and support. My husband was open and wonderful. My parents, scared at first, showed that they were there for me as well. My sister, was as supportive as ever. 24 hours of falling in love with a picture. Looking at my future and seeing it differently. The fact finding comes quickly. You fight for this child that could be yours. In the end you do what is best for that child. You realize it is not you. You are not meant to be, but for a moment you were. And I loved how that felt
.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Quick shot of Hayley and Aunt Wendi


Taken during our lovely Father's Day brunch! She is really growing up!

Happy Father's Day



Today is Father's Day! We spent a nice day down at Lori's . Although bitter sweet for me...(Lori and girls leave for a summer at overnight camp, yeah them...I just miss them so much!), it was great to see all. I think it's appropriate that I speak about the two most important dad's in my life. My father and my husband. I'll start with my daddy. And, he is still my daddy. A man who has always been there for me, who is never afraid to share his opinion, and who loves me like no one else in this world. That's my daddy. He is the most special man in the whole world. I remember when I was a little girl, he would come into my bedroom to check on me to see if I was asleep. Sometimes I wasn't and I remember him so vividly stroking my head and saying softly (tot-tee tot-tee-that is yiddish for something) He hates "music of today". He despises the Bushes (don't' we all in my family) and he still is in love with my mother. Put a bowl of cherries or grapes in front of him and watch him go! Oh we can drive each other nuts sometimes, but I wouldn't trade that in for the world. An amazing man, father, father in law and granddaddy.... I wish him only happiness, health and peace. I love you Aaron!!!! Here's a typical shot of daddy on Thanksgiving...carving the turkey! And now my husband. I am sorry you aren't with Adam and Annie today. (In fact it's not even Father's Day in Australia.) You are an incredible man and father yourself. They say a girl always marries a man like her own father. I can understand that...you are geninue like my dad, you are caring like my father and you love your children as deeply as my daddy loves me. I can't wait till your third child is with us, and you can share that love even more. I love you Joe. (Here's a photo of Joe and Annie from this winter. She is definetly daddy's little girl...forever and ever more!)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Wow what a dream!


I dreamt last nite that I met Brad and Angelina. Not to get into to much detail, but the dream included me telling them I was adopting, me introducing them to a long lost son, Brad kissing me-twice (wow!) and Angelina begging for me to help her. I have no idea what this dream meant, but I realized that I can't stop thinking of Brad Pitt today (sorry Joey -smile). Anyway, tonite on TMZ.com there was a video taken of Brad taking Pax to the "Orphan Doctor" Jane Aaronson. I've heard her speak and met her briefly afterwards, and 'my friend Susan' actually has personally dealt with her. She is THE expert here on International Adoptions and I most probably will confer with her about Lia-Rose's medical records. Anyway, the link below is of Mr. Pitt protecting Pax from the Photographers. (On the right that is Maddox and Brad in an unrelated picture) I don't know..I guess it's kinda of cool that someone I met briefly is Brad Pitt's doctor....and by the way, I am really actually not a Brad Pitt fan. I think what he did to Jennifer Aniston was awful. But he is actually a great father...or at least appears to be. Take care of those kids Brad...they are depending on you!
Opps that link above is Paris Hilton's mother...if u are interested.
Here's the link...poor little Pax. The little guy looks scared. The woman screaming "go away go away" is the Doctor.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Star Spangled Banner

Ok...I am way to tired to post tonite....but you have to see this...my all American Niece Addison and her rendition of the National Anthem! She actually totally carries a tune!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Can you say delicious

Joe found this one....she is to cute. I want to eat her up. I hope her mommy doesn't mind me posting this. It's lovely!

Stuck in line and waiting to go home.

So with the advent of my new blackberry I can type memos to myself to post on my blog where ever and whenever I want. Tonight is one of those times that thoughts boil over and I have to write about it. One day it is my intention that my daughter will read these words and get a bit of an idea of who her mommy is and what she is about. How crazy in 25 years Lia Rose may be reading this and discovering things about me that she never knew. I was just speaking to my dear friend Alysa who is a daily blog reader (hello, leave some comments!). Alysa knows me well as we worked together for two years. Besides working together we became very close friends. She told me that this blog is "totally my personality." She'll read a post a say, "uh oh she is nuts today (my words not hers), she can tell when I am optimistic or being silly. Of course we all can get that in any one's post but I guess what I try to convey is true emotion. How I am feeling at the moment. My own version of reality TV.

This blog means so much to me. It gives me an outlet to release my feelings. The friends I am making are priceless. To be able to let my family and outside of the blog world learn about my journey is amazing. However at the end of the day this will be about YOU Lia-Rose. I want u to know the deep love that we have felt for you from day one. I want you to know who your dad and I are and what we were like before we had you. I want you to know who you are. That is what I hope for my child the most. To know and love everything she is. Perhaps one day this blog, no doubt outdated by the time you read this, will be just one piece of your story.

(See what can happen when you are stuck in line at the Port Authority, you never know what you will write! Thanks for sharing my ride home!)

Sunday, June 10, 2007

A non adoption moment


What the.....???????????????????
Did you get what just happened???
Ugh...tagged. I have very pleasantly avoided being tagged for anything in this blog--o-sphere, but my friends Ann Marie and Susan got me. So they asked, a memo of 12 things, professionally and personally you would like to achieve over the summer. Here goes, there are about 112 things I need to do, but here goes.

1. See more friends this summer. There are several people I haven't socialized with in months (years?). Need to arrange for some get-togethers this summer, while I don't need a babysitter.
2. Read, I am in the zone, and reading is awesome. Finished the China Ghost book in 24 hours, now currently am reading Middlesex. Actually, my goal is more to read a mix of adoption books as well as nothing to do with adoption books.
3. Not obsess over missing my sister Lori this summer. She leaves in a week or so to spend the summer working at an over night camp. The kids go with her and all have an adventure. But I hate it. Everyday, my mom and I speak and the first thing we say to each other is "Did u hear from Lori?" I miss our daily chats. I'll miss her writing in her blog. I'll miss her reading my blog. I'll miss my sister! And forget the kids, I can't stand the fact that my nieces don't even write me...but it's not about me..it's about them...and I hope they have a wonderful summer.
4. Not obsess over the WAIT. (Enough said)
5. Email and speak to my stepchildren more.
6. Finish all the big projects I have going at work, as well as start a few more.
7. Begin my Advance Coaching studies, finish getting certified in DISC, do my Creative Marketing for Small Business workshop, set up adoptioncoaches.blogspot.com (more to come) with Susan.
8.Stay on my diet and fitness routine. I am a slow weight loser, so I have to stay positive and not get up-tight about the scale.
9. Play tennis, bike and gym it through out the week
10. Keep my house clean
11. Not obsess about the WAIT...oopps, said it twice, but you understand
12. Continue writing in my blog. I love this!
13. Work on setting up my "speical" project with my agency
14. And be nicer to my husband, translation-I am always nice, just want him to see that in print!
So now my turn to tag: Daniella, Stephanie, MaryBeth and of course Lori

Wendi's Book Club


Buy this! Read this! I picked it up yesterday and stayed up late and woke up early to finish. It is so beautifully written. As you may have read below, I met the author yesterday. He is a reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and puts both his talent as a writer and a reporter as well as being a very much in love daddy to work here! The book is both informative as well as very emotional. Jeff writes about some of the very things that I think and wonder about when it comes to how I will feel and think about Lia-Rose's birth parents. His experience was not all ladybugs and snugglies. He is truthful and candid and I appreciate all the work he put into this book. His two daughters and wife are very blessed to be loved by this man. You can read it on every page. A must for any of us in the adoption community as well as for those who are interested. It's brand new and also contains a lot of great information on the current state of Chinese adoption. A great way to spend our time rather then obsessing over those rumor boards!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

What a beautiful day

Laughter and smiles. Ice cream and cotton candy. Paper kites, festive dragon, vendors with fancy Chinese clothes and delicate jewels. Special books, unique dances, and the requisite raffle drawings. Chinese born and now all American beauties, from 1 year to 18 years old. Parents nodding to one another with an understanding that only they have. Finally my family isn't stared at or judged. We are all the same here. It was the wonderful FCC-NY (Families with Children from China) Cultural Day at Liberty State Park in Jersey City. Oh what a beautiful day I had. Last year I attended while in the midst of our paperchase. This year, I was a certified "Waiting Family" member. I volunteered in the Arts and Crafts area and made Festive Dragons for about 2 hours. I of course, walked into the Festival running late (navigator's aren't always right) and very emotional. Seeing all the families overwhelmed me at first, and I burst out in tears. After gaining my compsure I made my way to my area, and got started making those Dragons. Working beside me was the beautiful 13 year old Olivia. It's funny, I always focus on my daughter as a toddler, never as the young lady she will become. Olivia was spectacular. Smart, sweet, polite and just gorgeous. She reminded me of my All-American nieces and my All-Australian Step-Daughter. Just a young lady looking to enjoy her day, and hang out with her friends. I also met up with my friend Marcia, her daughter Catarina (4 years old) and her nephew. Catarina is a pistol and as always I enjoyed hanging with her. Marcia is due to be LID anyday now for Catarina's Mei Mei. Anyway, we had fun. We yenta'ed (for those who don't know that means talked about everyone) bought books-will get back to that in a second and just enjoyed watching the kids and feeling very blessed to be there. One of the books I bought was called China Ghosts by Jeff Gammage. Jeff was there signing books and after talking to him I picked up the book and saw that he lives in the town I grew up in. In fact he knows a friend of my mother's who has an adopted daughter. This friend was actually the first person that gave me advice on the journey I was embarking on. Small world.
The book looks very interesting and if u go to Jeff's website above, he posts a video that is quite interesting as well. Another small world story was that after talking to another family at the event for about 1 minute, we realized that were both adopting from the same agency, and once again, I had been communicating with them on our Agency's message board. That red thread gets you every time! So to sum up this rather lengthy post, it was a great time! It's a wonderful community that we are now apart of! And by the way, all the parents I talked to were very sympathetic about the wait! So, who knows when, but I can't wait to take Lia-Rose there!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Becoming...

Oh my god I am old! Or maybe this is what nesting is all about. Last nite I stayed in the city to have dinner with a friend had not seen in awhile. We chatted so effortlessly that before I knew it, it was time to catch the bus home. I looked at my watch and decided to take the later bus home to give me the chance to get some exercise in.(Yes, diet is going well) It was almost a 40 New York City block walk, and it was the perfect night for it.. The air was clear and there was a tiny chill in the air that my sweater was perfect for. As I walked, there were hundreds of young 20 and 30 somethings walking with their friends, hanging at the bars and dining at the outside cafes. No one looked like they hadd wrinkles or had to have their hair colored every 4 weeks to cover the greys. Their fabulous bodies were showcased in their new summer work clothes that turn into summer play clothes at nite. It was 10pm and their evening was just getting started.The wine glasses were filled, the cool martini's mixed. Fantasies of meeting "Mr or Ms' Right Now" fresh in their minds. I was just floored realizing how that not so long ago this was the life I craved. The moments I thought I could never live without. Last nite, I felt out of place. This was a city I love and know so well yet I wasn't feeling at home.

My friend I was with last nite is a beautiful successful young 50-something woman. She has done amazng things in her life. She and her husband have decided that having children was not what they wanted. She asked me how I felt about giving up my life. I laughed and said that having a child was not about losing myself or my freedom. That's not how I am seeing it. I know things will change and my time will not be my own. My career will have to be balanced and managed in a way that it has never been before. But becoming a mother is naturally what I am becoming. Whether this is nesting, growing older or just being settled. I have had "my time". I was self-ish and self absorbed. That is not who I am today. I am blossoming into Lia-Rose's mother.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

AHA moment #100


For someone who is caught in the middle of the longest wait in Chinese adoption history (not sure if that is entirely true,but fairly sure) I am feeling much more optimistic today. Oh sure, it's a moment by moment thing, in fact a good adoption friend of mine "A" wrote me today and was feeling pretty much as down as I did a few days ago. We all know that when u want to meet emotionally charged people, make sure to introduce yourself to someone who is adopting! Today however I did have another big big "Aha" moment. By the way I googled "aha" for an image, and didn't find anything compelling. I decided to pick an image that describes what my "Aha" moment was about. As you can see above it's the notion and belief that "everything happens for a reason". You see, I truly and always have believed that. Why didn't I get that job back right out of school? Because I was meant to get the next job that I got. Why didn't a relationship was Mr. Big work out? Because I was supposed to meet and marry my "Aidan". (Note, Sex and the City reference) Why couldn't I concieve a baby biologically? Because I was meant to concieve my daughter this way, and she is in China. Then there are the small things. We all "get" the big ones. Why for instance did I forget my earrings this morning on my way to a big presentation(Joe don't read this) and feel completely naked without them but wander into a boutique a door away from the office building I was going into and find the most perfect pair of earrings? O'k I know that's an eye roller, but the fact is, these earrings are perfect. So sometimes, when something really stupid happens, like a trip and fall while walking Molly, I'll think to myself, "so if things are really meant to happen for a reason, why the hell did I just fall." Today it hit me. Everytime something happens and I think "why did that happen" the reason that thought comes to my mind is to remind me of the big picture....'THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON'. Those little thing that happen that create that thought in my head are just big ways of putting that thought into my head. O'k, so why the hell am I rambling like this about this. Because lately this is happening to me constantly. Constantly I am having something stupid and silly happen and I'll ask myself "why" and then I hear the message loud and clear...THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. O'k, now to wrap this up and relate it to you and me....I know that I am aware of this now more then ever because of what we are going thru. As hard as this is to swallow. We have to go thru this to get to our Lias and Michaelas and Gracies and Mirandas and Sophies and Mias and Hayleys and Annies and Sydneys and Addisons...I know, I hate when people tell me this to shut me up about things, but you know what my dearest friends, I think its true. I had a long discussion with my "coach" Jille. Jille challenged me with a distinction that I will share with you and hopefully give you some food for thought. Desire and Want. Think about this. What is the distinction between the two. We need to be in a place of want and not of desire. Desire sounds wonderful ( I desire to be a mother so badly), but desire emotionally weakens us. It puts us into the place of the "victim". By wanting (I want to be a mother) we are strong, we are clear, we are more in control It helps the universe set it's course for us without any baggage so to speak. I hope this makes some sense to you. It might be too "life-coachy" for some, but it allowed me to see the difference and remind myself to WANT. So now, what I want for YOU is to realize that things really are happening the way they are supposed to. We just have to go thru these days to get us to the other side. Hang tough my friends. Hang tough!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Yes!


Yeah...referrals finally are coming in! It looks like they got up to families logged in from November 1 to November 7, 05. (Not a huge increase of referrals from my uneducated analysis. Enough said) CONGRATULATIONS. I'm checking out all the websites with the gorgeous beauties. Here's one. I hope this mommy doesn't mind me posting, but it thrills me to see that this little baby was actually born a day after us 10/27'ers were logged in. And speaking of that, I do believe that we have a big number of us logged in on that date! If you are reading this and we share the same log in, make sure to comment. It's a great way to meet those of us who might be traveling at the same time. On a different note, I am doing a project - I'll tell you more later, but I need some help from those of you who are waiting. If you could answer the following questions for me, I'd appreciate it. 1. If you could on a consistent basis have information from your agency, what would that be and how often would you want it? 2. What is your agency really good out? 3. What are they not so good at? 4. What could your agency do to make this process easier? Please email me at dashish@aol.com or comment below. Your input would be much appreciated! PS. I was just checking the traffic on this site, and someone in Nanchang has logged on! Soooo cool! Please say hi!!!! Also Barcelona and Perth, Australia, but I am thinking that could be my gorgeous beautiful and fabulous s-daughter Annie!

Monday, June 04, 2007

OY VEY


Total rambling of thoughts, not for the weak-hearted. (and who would have thought there would be a graphic for OY VEY!)

OY VEY!!!! I need to hear something positive. I feel stuck stuck stuck.We creep along in our wait. The word is a new batch of referrals are coming out this week, not that far into November…not a huge dent. We are kinda of stuck! I am feeling extremely frustrated. Beyond frustrated is actually the proper description. Please please don’t tell me to be patient. Right now,that’s not what I want to hear. I don’t want to hear, “it will be worth it in the end” ….these are just words to me and I can’t bear to hear them. I am sorry about that. But the truth is I WANT MY LIA-ROSE MORE THEN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! I have many more months of this. You know by now that my emotions fluctuate from just being calm and patient to being entirely frustrated. Knowing that there are others out there that are going thru the same situation does help. I love you all for being there and teaching me patience. But today, I just need you to know…I REALLY REALLY REALLY DID I SAY REALLY WANT MY BABY! I know that I have to sit back and “let it happen”…stop trying to “make it happen”, that’s not going to work. Some days are going to suck like this. The feeling is just going to overwhelm me. It will pass. I’ll be fine …I know it for sure. But today, I want to acknowledge the fact that my stomach aches for her, my heart breaks for her and my brain just can’t stop thinking about her….there I said it….now I let it go!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Home on the range




Quiet celebration of our anniversary this year. The past few we were with my parents. Last year we were in San Diego. This year we just stayed put, by ourselves. Not doing much actually. And that is very nice. Here's some nice photos of my sister and family. I can't stand how my nieces are just blossoming before my eyes. I love them so much. (Jori Lill, u looking thin!)
Love you all so much!