Monday, June 04, 2007

OY VEY


Total rambling of thoughts, not for the weak-hearted. (and who would have thought there would be a graphic for OY VEY!)

OY VEY!!!! I need to hear something positive. I feel stuck stuck stuck.We creep along in our wait. The word is a new batch of referrals are coming out this week, not that far into November…not a huge dent. We are kinda of stuck! I am feeling extremely frustrated. Beyond frustrated is actually the proper description. Please please don’t tell me to be patient. Right now,that’s not what I want to hear. I don’t want to hear, “it will be worth it in the end” ….these are just words to me and I can’t bear to hear them. I am sorry about that. But the truth is I WANT MY LIA-ROSE MORE THEN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! I have many more months of this. You know by now that my emotions fluctuate from just being calm and patient to being entirely frustrated. Knowing that there are others out there that are going thru the same situation does help. I love you all for being there and teaching me patience. But today, I just need you to know…I REALLY REALLY REALLY DID I SAY REALLY WANT MY BABY! I know that I have to sit back and “let it happen”…stop trying to “make it happen”, that’s not going to work. Some days are going to suck like this. The feeling is just going to overwhelm me. It will pass. I’ll be fine …I know it for sure. But today, I want to acknowledge the fact that my stomach aches for her, my heart breaks for her and my brain just can’t stop thinking about her….there I said it….now I let it go!

3 comments:

Daniella said...

Ditto - Some days suck more than others - Didn't I say I wasn't following the rumors anymore? Well I lied, I did and now, once again, DISAPPOINTED. I hate thinking a big batch is coming and then it doesn't happen. We will get there - I so hope we are in China together -

Mark and Rebecca said...

We share your log-in date, and want our baby girl badly as well! This adoption journey is quite the ride.

JoAnn in NJ said...

Hi,
I feel your pain, we were there in '05 and '06 (at the beginning of the slow down period. The summer of '05 was so dark to me that I started grad school to take my mind off the pain of waiting for our daughter.

Honestly, not much anyone can say will help. Lean on everyone to get through it and then it will be over.

It was HARD, but definately worth it!

I also haunted China adoption blogs to see others get their babies.

Check out my blog to see our happy ending.
http://hoppelife.blogspot.com

Hugs and good thoughts!
JoAnn in NJ