AHA moment #100

For someone who is caught in the middle of the longest wait in Chinese adoption history (not sure if that is entirely true,but fairly sure) I am feeling much more optimistic today. Oh sure, it's a moment by moment thing, in fact a good adoption friend of mine "A" wrote me today and was feeling pretty much as down as I did a few days ago. We all know that when u want to meet emotionally charged people, make sure to introduce yourself to someone who is adopting! Today however I did have another big big "Aha" moment. By the way I googled "aha" for an image, and didn't find anything compelling. I decided to pick an image that describes what my "Aha" moment was about. As you can see above it's the notion and belief that "everything happens for a reason". You see, I truly and always have believed that. Why didn't I get that job back right out of school? Because I was meant to get the next job that I got. Why didn't a relationship was Mr. Big work out? Because I was supposed to meet and marry my "Aidan". (Note, Sex and the City reference) Why couldn't I concieve a baby biologically? Because I was meant to concieve my daughter this way, and she is in China. Then there are the small things. We all "get" the big ones. Why for instance did I forget my earrings this morning on my way to a big presentation(Joe don't read this) and feel completely naked without them but wander into a boutique a door away from the office building I was going into and find the most perfect pair of earrings? O'k I know that's an eye roller, but the fact is, these earrings are perfect. So sometimes, when something really stupid happens, like a trip and fall while walking Molly, I'll think to myself, "so if things are really meant to happen for a reason, why the hell did I just fall." Today it hit me. Everytime something happens and I think "why did that happen" the reason that thought comes to my mind is to remind me of the big picture....'THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON'. Those little thing that happen that create that thought in my head are just big ways of putting that thought into my head. O'k, so why the hell am I rambling like this about this. Because lately this is happening to me constantly. Constantly I am having something stupid and silly happen and I'll ask myself "why" and then I hear the message loud and clear...THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. O'k, now to wrap this up and relate it to you and me....I know that I am aware of this now more then ever because of what we are going thru. As hard as this is to swallow. We have to go thru this to get to our Lias and Michaelas and Gracies and Mirandas and Sophies and Mias and Hayleys and Annies and Sydneys and Addisons...I know, I hate when people tell me this to shut me up about things, but you know what my dearest friends, I think its true. I had a long discussion with my "coach" Jille. Jille challenged me with a distinction that I will share with you and hopefully give you some food for thought. Desire and Want. Think about this. What is the distinction between the two. We need to be in a place of want and not of desire. Desire sounds wonderful ( I desire to be a mother so badly), but desire emotionally weakens us. It puts us into the place of the "victim". By wanting (I want to be a mother) we are strong, we are clear, we are more in control It helps the universe set it's course for us without any baggage so to speak. I hope this makes some sense to you. It might be too "life-coachy" for some, but it allowed me to see the difference and remind myself to WANT. So now, what I want for YOU is to realize that things really are happening the way they are supposed to. We just have to go thru these days to get us to the other side. Hang tough my friends. Hang tough!