September 11

So sorry I haven't written. I haven't been feeling great. I pulled my back out and really have been in pain. I think I needed sometime from sitting up on the computer, and that did the trick. I also am in a state of denial. I am so overwhelmed with fear that something will go wrong with this adoption. Maybe that is why I am avoiding the Blog. I love this little girl so much, and I'm afraid that it won't happen. Tomorrow is September 11th. I am in denial about that as well. That day changed everything. But the good that came out of it for me was that I opened up my heart, and soon after met my husband. I remember reading all the profiles about the victims. How they had full lives with loves and families. That is what I wanted as well. And I hope to god that I am on my way to creating that. I am staying calm now. I have to. For what else can I do. I love the idea of Lia, and I hope to create the reality of her. In a celebration of life, we must go on and fulfill our dreams. Please god help me fulfill mine.