To Ann Marie and Susan

I am so excited for you both! I pray if these referrals are meant to be...they will be. You both are teaching me to have patience and to believe! And yes, to those who may follow this blog, both of my friends got referrals this week. They are both as Susan has said "cautiously optimistic". The Russian referral system if very different from China. They both received referrals and now have to get their butts to Russia to meet their bundle of joys. If all works out o'k, they peition the courts for the adoption and have to return in a few months to go thru the court system and adopt their babies. I wish them both the best! And I am so excited for them!

Beyond Good Intentions

I am reading a book about International Adoption. "Beyond Good Intentions" by Cheri Register. It's "reflections on raising Internationally Adopted Children". It's essays that really highlight both the joy and the risk of adoption. It's interesting. And she seems to be brutally frank. Adoption is way more that cute little babies dressed up in ladybug outfits. There are harsh realities that I need to understand. My goal is to provide Lia-Rose with whatever we need to make our family life as "normal" as possible. With an inter-racial adoption, it's always going to be obvious that Joe and I aren't Lia-Rose's birthparents. I want her to feel comfortable with that. If she needs one day to try to learn more about her birthparents (which is very difficult in with Chinese adoption) I will support her 100%. There are also some interesting articles on Adoption in O Magazine. One story was written from the adoptive mother's point of view when her daughter was searching out her birthmother. Very interesting. I believe that god gives us what we can handle, and I truly believe that we will be able to deal with and provide whatever it takes to make sure that Lia-Rose grows up self-assured, happy and confident. And, I'm never ever afraid to ask for help!

I am calm and no more angst

Suddenly it hit me this morning and a calm came over me. Yesterday was rough. I just felt so frustrated about this adoption and the waiting game. A friend of mine, Teri wrote me some very calming words, “Lia is already your daughter... she will come when the time is right..you are where you are meant to be at this moment in time, everything works out for your good..” So I thought about it. My heart tells me that when we get LIa-Rose’s referral, she will be about12 months old. Now, if we aren’t getting this baby for at least another year or so….of course I can’t be with Lia-Rose. She isn’t even born yet! I feel that Lia-Rose is just now in her birth mommy’s belly. She is developing in this wonderful woman in China’s womb. Maybe she kicked today…or blinked an eye (can they blink). Maybe her China mama is tired today and has to rest a bit more. Maybe her China mom has swollen ankles and can’t walk as far as she used to. Maybe she is beginning to show or is popping out already. I can’t be with Lia-Rose right now…regardless of the adoption waiting game, I truly don’t think my baby is born. And as my dear and brilliant friend Teri said, when the time is right, you will be together. For some reason, really understanding and acknowledging this, has taken some of yesterday’s angst away. (PS I like adding pictures. I googled "Calm" and got that picture above!)

I can be blue!

Some days being a waiting parent is much harder then others. For me…today is very much that day. I am feeling extremely blue. How do I manage to not think about this baby girl? How do I say that I need to be strong? That I need to just put thoughts of Lia-Rose in the back of my mind and just focus on today? That my feelings for the expectation of this baby aren’t as real and as deep as I would have if she was growing inside of me. I don’t think about it all day. I do concentrate on my work. I keep busy. I try to work out as much as I can and spend time with family and friends. Plus I am a Coach and working with a list of clients who I share my time with. Bottom line….I am very much active and keep forging ahead with life and with current plans. But this waiting is very tough today. I want my baby. I want to know when I can see her. I am sorry for complaining…

Dianjiang SWI

This is special to me. I found this on You Tube. Thank you so much to the person that posted this. These are waiting babies in an orphangage in Dianjiang. Look at these faces. Watch how the nannies look after them. At the end, one of the caretakers turns the baby in her arms around and looks a the camera and says "this is one of the ones waiting...."

5 months logged in!

A crazy day for my friends

Without mentioning names, as it's not my place, two of my buddies had very crazy days today regarding their quest for mommy-hood. Adoption is not easy. Don't be fooled. We might not put up with midnight cravings (o'k we do but have no hormonal excuse for it), gain weight (that too), and have painful labor.. but this method of having a baby really is tough. There's always paperwork, there is always anxiety that some system is going to fail you and of course there is this complete feeling of "no control" because once you put the paperwork in, you have really little control. Anyway these two special friends, made tremendous headway today.
One got her referral over the weekend!!!! (Not from China) and now has to scramble to get her butt to this particular country in a week! Meanwhile, her paperwork is not finished because of her stupid homestudy agency and other assorted nonsense...but today she worked the phone and faxes and it's going happen! (And the baby is very sweet) Now my other friend, this poor lass (who the hell calls anyone a lass anymore, that just came out), well anyway, this poor lass has been waiting a very very long time for her referral. She re-did her dossier about a thousand times....and still no baby (not from China either)...today she worked the phones as well...and finally there is going to be some action! The agency admitted that her case wasn't being treated right, and hopefully they are going to put on the heat and as they promise...bring her little girl to her! These two ladies give me such hope and I am living thru their experiences to carry me thru to my own referral. Here's hoping to a quick and seamless next few weeks for them both! Congrats guys...you are both in your final hours of gestation ...here's to much easier deliveries!

My hubby

Happy Birthday to Annie's daddy, Joe!

Happy Birthday to Adam's dad, Joe!

Happy Birthday to Molly's daddy and morning dog walker, Joe!

Happy Birthday to Aaron and Joyce's son-in-law, Joe!

Happy Birthday to Lori and Greg's brother-in-law, Joe!

Happy Birthday to Hayley's, Sydney's, Addie's, Helen's, Lee's, Neil's, and Bethany's Uncle Joe!

Happy Birthday to Lia-Rose's daddy to be, Joe!

Happy Birthday to my best hubby (in fact only hubby), best buddy and favorite mate...my Joey!

Something I didn't want to bring up

I have been very careful not to complain about the wait. After all, I recogonize how fortunate and blessed we are to be in the line....after all, as most of you know with the rules changes, Joe and I would have probably been ineligible to adopt from China. Lia-Rose is there, and I know I have to be patient. But I do have something I have to bring up....and it's this constant feeling of getting three steps a head...and then five steps behind. I am a very optimistic person and believe in attracting positive thoughts to all of this...but everytime another month passes (we are almost at 5 months into this wait!) it seems with lengthening wait times, that instead of saying 10, 9, 8, 7, we are just stuck at 12 or 14 more to go....it's a bit frustratrating ....and I am reading about how time is all just kinda of happening at once....but I'd like for once to feel that we are getting a little closer. O'k, that's it. My complaint, observation and just plain rant...I put it out there...now move on...but if any of you are feeling the same way....please comment below and share!

Spring has sprung

YES! It's spring...that's two seasons down in our wait...maybe 5 more to go?
More later....happy and a healthy spring!

A walk down memory lane

Tonite I had an appointment downtown. Instead of hopping on a subway to get to the Port Authority, I decided to walk. It was a nice nite, relatively and I had some time. I purposefully turned off my phone and kept quiet. I walked up Fifth Ave...over 14 Street...up 6th Ave...over 23rd street, up 7th Ave. over 27th street, back down to 8th and up to 42nd Street. Along the way, I passed stores I hadn't shopped in in years, saw people that reminded me of old friends, spotted restaurants that I forgot how great their food was. I thought of things that I hadn't thought about it in years. I remembered when I was just a 28year old girl arriving in New York City with thoughts and dreams. I remembered the 35 year old girl who was just longing for love. I saw myself today..almost 46 years old and being in a happy relationship with my special husband and waiting for my baby girl. Today I spoke to my old friend Teri. We worked together years ago and had a very unique friendship. She is black, I am white, and we always felt that we were so much alike. I thought a lot about her tonite as I walked. Teri just recently got engaged to a man who she said " was right there in front of me" the whole time. It made me think tonite as I walked down memory lane...all the time I was dreaming of what I wanted my future to be, it is really right there in front of me right now. It all came down to this perfect time in my life. Waiting for my daughter is just part of this time .Part of the journey down the long road ahead of me.

A new tool

We just downloaded a new program called Picasa....it captures all of our pictures in a neat file. And, it you can link directly you your blogger account. I found this great picture of my sister. This is Lori laughing the evening before my wedding. This is soooo my sister. I love her so much!!!!

Just a mention

Lia-Rose's name has been modified a bit. Earlier on we were planning on naming her Lia Rose (last name). I always call her Lia-Rose when I refer to her. Plus, Grandmom Rose was one of my most favorite people in the entire world. I guess I also am loving saying the name. Anyway, I was reading People Magazine (I admit it) and there was an article about Johnny Depp. His daughter is Lily-Rose (note the hyphen). I thought it looked so pretty. Then another article about Terrie Hatcher and her daughter Emerson-Rose (note-hyphen). I thought it looked so pretty....and since we always are saying Lia-Rose anyway...why not make that her official first name. I love how it looks and Joe was quite fine with it. Plus, it's important to honor Lia-Rose's heritage...so her middle name will be her chinese name. So it will be Lia-Rose (Chinese Name) (Last name)!

Like my friend AnnMarie says, "When she is a teenager they will call her Lee/or L anyway!" at least as a kid we can stick to the Lia-Rose! Heck my family calls me everything from Wen to Wen-da-la to DASHISH! For now she is and will be Lia-Rose!

One of those moments.... a letter to my daughter

Dear Lia-Rose,

I am so ready to be your mommy. I think of you all the time. I can not wait till I meet you. I am exited to give you a great life. A life filled with love, laughter, security and comfort. I have been waiting for you a very long time. And I don't mean the adoption wait. In my heart I always knew I wanted a baby. A daughter. A dream come true. I know that you are going to be special. Our life will be filled with challenges and adventures. You come to me thru my prayers and thru my dreams. You are everything I always wanted. The missing piece in my heart that needs to be filled. I will wait patiently for you my Lia-Rose. I will wait as long as it takes. But when you are put into my arms, I will never ever let go. We have more months until we are together. I hope that you are comfortable and warm. Your life is a big huge adventure Lia-Rose....it's just starting and the best is yet to come! I love you my beautiful baby girl. Can't wait to hold you.

Love ,Mommy

O'k

I've calmed down. I'm happy for the little new Jolie. Happy that he has a home. From what I have read she may have started the process after Shiloh was born in May...so less then a year she has him...that's o'k. I can be angry. I can be jealous...but I do think that the media is painting a picture that is not good for the international adoption community. The system may or may not favor Ms. Jolie...I've stopped my complaining...life is unfair sometimes. My daughter (and the daughters and the sons of so many others ) is possibly living as an orphan right now. My baby and the babies of others has no mommy or daddy, sister, brother , grandparent , aunt , uncle or cousin to hold them. Our children are longing for love and comfort and a chance for a wonderful future. Life isn't fair. The very rich and famous may get advantages. Life isn't fair...my daughter will be separated from her birth mother and made to wait for her forever mother. Life isn't fair. But, it is what it is. And instead of complaining I'll move on and dream of the day that life is a little fairer for Lia-Rose and the rest of the daughters and sons of the world who deserve a happy and a forever family.

Meet Angelina's new son

I am very angry

O'k, aside from being very premenstrual...I know, to much information....but it will explain a little bit of my state...I am upset, furious and down right hysterical over the latest news that Vietnam is speeding up the Jolie adoption. God bless this child. He deserves a home...but Ms. Jolie...get in line....I know tons of wonderful parents who would adopt this kid in a second. Why are u helping continue to pait the picture that internation adoption is easy! That all you need is money and poof ...a child! Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I am sick of the jokes I hear...oh you are adopting a baby ...just like Angelina... ha ha..buying a kid Wendi!? Wrong! I don't think it's right that the rules are one way for some and one way for others. Do you know that with Vietnam adoptions you need to stay in the country for 2 weeks before u can come home...how come Angelina is flying there tonite and the press is saying she will be home this weekend with her son! Wrong! How come an unmarried, living with her partner out of wedlock, gone thru relationships like its no one's business, blood drinking ( Not sure where I got that one), making out with her brother, horrible relationship with her father, marriage breaking person gets priority....it's wrong wrong wrong!

The 1010 Rule

I didn't visit this blog all day yesterday or today (well until now) and I watched my counter and see that others did! It's the coolest to know that people are out there actually reading this blog. I have to say thank you! I attended a big adoption conference over the weekend...the biggest thing I came away with is this (well lots more and I'll cover it later)....and for those who know me well...u will see how funny this is.....we were talking about how hard this waiting period is. We are expectant parents, but in a different way then if I was carrying my baby...anyway, the Social Worker said that she applies the 1010 Rule. Once again, for those who don't know me well...the rule itself is great advice....for those who know me personally....how funny is this..she said that the 1010 rule means thatone is thinking about adoption ....24 hours a day....all adoption all the time.. like that local radio station 1010 wins-all news all the time ... this was not a good thing! We have to limit our adoption thinking....say for 22 minutes or less!!!! (because this particular radio station delivers the news in 22 minutes or less!) Anyway, she actually didn't say the last part about the 22 minutes....but maybe it does make sense....like a watched pot doesn't boil....or watched phone doesn't ring.......the less u think about something....the quicker it seems to happen! Yeah, right! I'm not going to think about this!!!! (Smile) Read Ann Marie's recap of the event: http://comeundone.typepad.com!

Various blabbing

It's been a long week....and a fast one. I must say the days are going more quickly as I've been sooo busy at work. My offices is moving in Summer of '08 and there is lots of talk about the renovation of a building we are leasing. I enjoy hearing this, because, selfishly I know that (fingers crossed) summer of '08 I'll be either home with Lia Rose, or in China getting her. I like that we are working on projects that are in this same time frame. The big issue is that the office is in downtown Manhattan and not a hop skip and a jump from the bus I take to Jersey. I'll have to figure it out, I want quick routes back to my baby when she is here. Anyway, I have no idea how I got off onto that tangent. What is cool about my blog is sometimes, like now, I have no idea what I'm going to write about and I just let my fingers do the talking. Last nite I saw "Spelling Bee" with "my friend" Susan.http://www.slinky37.blogspot.com/ I told her today that during the show I peeked over at her. Susan is by the way waiting for her baby from Russia. Anyway, she is a very beautiful young 40 something New York chick. She is hot, bottom line...anyway, I looked over at her during the play and for the first time she glowed like a mommy. I can not wait for her referral. She should getting it soon. It is certainly time! I know she is ready. On another note, this Sunday "my friend" Susan and Ann Marie (another great lady-we have been work colleagues for years-adopting from Russia http://comeundone.typepad.com/- are attending an International Adoption Conference this weekend. We are all looking forward to getting together, learning more about adoption and special issues associated with International Adoption and generally just making fun of people and of ourselves. (Smile) But seriously , looking forward to it. Now u may ask, where is Joe in all of this? The poor man is working. The business he works in is in busy season so I barely see him. I just opened a beautiful bottle of Australian Chardonnay and I'm waiting for him to come home to relax. Tomorrow, it is little Nyla's birthday. Nyla is turning one. Her dad and I have been friends for 20 years, and I feel like I know her mommy that long too. They are awesome. Live about 100 feet away. I hope they still are living here when Lia comes. Nyla and Lia will be almost the same age and hopefully they can spend a lot of time together. Anyway, enough...this ramble babble has gone on long enough. One other thing though.... yesterday, March 8 is exactly one year until my niece Hayley and Sydney's Bat Mitzvah. Isn't ironic that yesterday post was about a Chinese adoptee celebrating hers? Really cool connection...or maybe it's just me!

Mazel Tov Bat Mitzvah

This is out today's NY Times, Metro Section. (Go to the website, they have an incredible video as well)

Of the 613 laws in the Torah, the one that appears most often is the directive to welcome strangers. The girl once known as Fu Qian has been thinking about that a lot lately.
Three weeks ago, she stood at the altar of her synagogue on the Upper West Side and gave a speech about it.
Fu Qian, renamed Cecelia Nealon-Shapiro at 3 months, was one of the first Chinese children — most of them girls — taken in by American families after China opened its doors to international adoption in the early 1990s. Now, at 13, she is one of the first to complete the rite of passage into Jewish womanhood known as bat mitzvah.
She will not be the last. Across the country, many Jewish girls like her will be studying their Torah portions, struggling to master the plaintive singsong of Hebrew liturgy and trying to decide whether to wear Ann Taylor or a traditional Chinese outfit to the after-party.
There are plenty of American Jews, of course, who do not “look Jewish.” And grappling with identity is something all adopted children do, not just Chinese Jews.
But seldom is the juxtaposition of homeland and new home, of faith and background, so stark. And nothing brings out the contrasts like a bat mitzvah, as formal a declaration of identity as any 13-year-old can be called upon to make. The contradictions show up in ways both playful — yin-and-yang yarmulkes, kiddush cups disguised as papier-mâché dragons, kosher lo mein and veal ribs at the buffet — and profound.
Yet for Cece, as everyone calls Cecelia, and for many of the girls like her, the odd thing about the whole experience is that it’s not much odder than it is for any 13-year-old.
“I knew that when I came to this age I was going to have to do it, so it was sort of natural,” she said a few days before the ceremony at Congregation Rodeph Sholom, a Reform synagogue on West 83rd Street where she has been a familiar face since her days in the Little Twos program. Besides, she said with a shrug, “Most of my Chinese friends are Jewish.”
As Zoe Kress, an adoptee in Mt. Laurel, N.J., said about her approaching bat mitzvah: “Being Chinese and Jewish is normal for me. Thinking about being Chinese and Jewish is a little strange.”
Olivia Rauss, a girl in Massachusetts who celebrated her bat mitzvah last fall on a day when the Jewish harvest festival of Sukkot coincided with the Chinese autumn moon festival, said she saw no tension between the two facets of her identity either.
“Judaism is a religion, Chinese is my heritage and somewhat my culture, and I’m looking at them in a different way,” she said. “I don’t feel like they conflict with each other at all.”
While no statistics are kept on the number of Chinese children adopted by Jewish families, over all, there were about 1,300 Chinese children adopted into American families from 1991 to 1994, another 17,000 in the second half of the ’90s, and 44,000 since then, according to the State Department.
Cece was born on Jan. 29, 1994, in Jiangxi Province in southeastern China. She was abandoned to an orphanage because of China’s one-child rule, and adopted by a lesbian couple, Mary Nealon and Vivian Shapiro. (The couple later adopted another Chinese girl, Gabie, now 5.) Cece has been drawing double-takes for a while, like when she used to ride on Ms. Shapiro’s lap on a packed crosstown bus and would burst into the Passover standard “Dayenu.”
Ms. Shapiro, an advertising buyer, was brought up by atheistic Jews; Ms. Nealon, a school nurse, was raised a Roman Catholic. But after they met, they were drawn to Judaism and decided to give Cece a relatively traditional upbringing.
“That was my hope when I started her in day school,” Ms. Nealon said, “that when she got up on the bimah” — the lectern where the bat mitzvah girl reads from the Torah — “she would feel like she had the right to be there.”
The countdown to the big day was the typical blur of lessons and studying, sit-downs with cantors and tutors, caterers and party planners. There was a thick dossier of Jewish history to master — history that Cece confessed did not feel like hers. “I just really try to learn it,” she said. “I don’t try to think of whose history it is.”
And, of course, there was shopping to be done.
“In my fantasy,” Ms. Nealon said, “we’d take her to Chinatown and have this incredibly beautiful Westernized Chinese dress made.”
But Ms. Shapiro said: “She wanted no part of it. For her, this has nothing to do with being Chinese.”
Cece set her cantor’s reading of her Torah portion to “repeat” on her iPod. She met with the head rabbi at Rodeph Sholom, Robert N. Levine, an affable, animated man with an office full of books and baseball memorabilia.
“So, Cece,” Rabbi Levine said, “what do you connect to most about your Judaism?”
Cece had transformed into the archetypal opaque teenager.
“I think I like the holidays, and, um, yeah,” she said, looking down.
The rabbi asked her to recite for him. She did.
“I love it,” Rabbi Levine said. “You have a beautiful voice. Your Hebrew is perfect. The only thing I need you to do, Cece, is project. Just give me a ‘Baruch’ like you’re singing in the shower.”
“Baruch,” Cece said, a bit louder.
On Feb. 17, nearly 200 of Cece’s friends and relatives filed into the vast Romanesque sanctuary of Rodeph Sholom. A box of commemorative yarmulkes with the yin-and-yang pattern sat by the door. Six alumnae of Cece’s orphanage — they call themselves the Fu sisters — had flown in from all over the country.
To the side of the altar, on a red throne, sat Cece, resplendent in a long black patterned dress with a scoop neck.
Ms. Shapiro laid a prayer shawl over Cece’s shoulders, a symbolic transfer of power. Cece and the other bat mitzvah girl that day, Sadie Friedman, lifted their voices and let loose a Hebrew welcome song that Cece had sung with the synagogue choir from the time she was 7.
Rabbi Levine preached from the day’s reading: “ ‘Let the stranger in your midst be to you as the native, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.’ ”
Cece and Sadie approached the ark, the enclosure, flanked with marble columns and topped by carved lions, where the Torah scrolls are kept. The cantor, Rebecca Garfein, handed them the oversize scrolls, dressed in maroon and gold fabric. The girls held them like bagpipes.
Cece laid her scroll on the bimah and read in Hebrew, in a loud, clear voice, from Chapter 21 of Exodus, a compendium of commandments on the treatment of servants and slaves.
Then she moved to her English speech.
“This long journey to becoming a bat mitzvah today has provided me with so many ways of learning,” she said. “The part that will always stay closest to me is the importance of caring for strangers. Just like Jews were once strangers in the land of Egypt, we have all been, or will be strangers at some point in our lives.”
Cece finished, touched the fringe of her shawl to the Torah and kissed it. She returned to her throne and sat down, cheeks red, looking exhausted and relieved.
That night — the eve of the Chinese year of the pig, as fate would have it — Cece and her guests reconvened at the Faculty House at Columbia University. The outer room was set up like a casino, with Cece-backed playing cards and Cece-faced play money. Inside, the music throbbed, the D.J. yelled, the fog machine billowed. Cece and her friends traded their shoes for white socks and pogoed across the floor.
After dinner — kosher Chinese for the kids, steak for the adults — the D.J. cranked up “Hava Nagila.” Cece, in a chair in the middle of the dance floor, was lifted up, up, up until she bumped her head on the Chinese umbrellas hanging off the chandelier.
Then she was back on the floor, dancing with her mothers and little sister and singing along with the recording: “Hava neranena, venis’mecha,” or: Let us sing

Specifically to Alysa and to "my friend Susan"

I will not be posting photos of my bangs :)
More to come later....been in proposal writing mode!

Referrals

Another batch of referrals came into today. This month it looks like they are only up to October 24, 2005. Note that is 2005. Remember we are October 27, 2006. This is wonderful fantastic news for those families getting their referrals. The issue for the rest of us is that they didn't seem to get very far in this batch. O'k, one month at a time, but collectively, pray for a speed up and let's get those babies home!

Love, Wendi

Nia singing Can't Hide Love by Earth Wind and Fire at age 4

Besides being one of my favorite songs, I had to share. This little girl was all over the local papers. She is adorable. Watch her expressions! You go girlie!

Just a time out

Nothing new to report. We had a good weekend. We met up with Chris and Tim who live near by us and are adopting their baby girl from China as well. A good time was had by all, and I just loved their home! It was a nite filled with great wine and great sushi! I can't wait till our girls are together one day soon! Sunday I went to a 50th birthday for an old and dear friend (and when I say old I mean longtime) Sharon. Another friend Beth was there as well...reconnecting is great, and they both are excited about Lia Rose. Everyone keeps asking "when is the baby coming." I don't know. And I know it is fair question. All I can say is that my guess is next Spring/Summer. I bet you that we will be heading to China right during the Summer Olympics! Who knows! But that is my guess. I hope that's not being over optimistic....oy! The bummer is, and I know my sister hates when I say this...but Lori and the girls go away for the summer. I hate the idea they won't be here when I bring her home. I want them to be at the airport greeting us and all! One never knows what the future will bring, and I know it will all work out! Talk about worrying! That's me! Anyway, the other big news is I decided to do something different with my hair. My 46th birthday is in seven weeks (who is counting), and I wanted to do something new...I layered in the front and actually have bangs! I like it. Joe was unsure at first, but he said he does like it too! Got kudos at work...regardless, it will always grow back! I talked to Annie my stepdaughter the other nite. We giggled when I told her that I accidentally put on her bikini underwear that she left here! She is a size 0 so u can just imagine. I love it, Annie's screen name on MSN is Lia Rose! That makes me smile. I miss that kid.

Anyway, here's a new photo of my nieces...look at their smiles. I love them so.

My Name is Life

My Name is Life

To my friends who are waiting parents...I found this video and wanted you to see this. I know that sometimes I just concentrate on the "mommy" part of this...of becoming a parent. This video reminds me of the importance of what we we are doing. I am so honored to be a part of this special adoption community.

News update

"Is Angelina Pulling a Madonna?Angelina Jolie is quickly moving forward on adopting a Vietnamese boy, and being a celebrity sure has its privileges. It seems that Vietnamese officials are turning a blind eye to the fact that Jolie has filed papers as a single parent, even though she lives with Brad Pitt and shares custody of her other children with him. "This is a clear contradiction of Vietnamese law, and such situations would not be allowed for other couples," international adoption advocate Tatiana Beams tells Page Six. "Most co-habitating couples who try to adopt as a single parent are either turned away from agencies or face difficulties."

Adoption is

My friend Susan (http://www.slinky37.blogspot.com/) comments on reading about the Jolie/Pitt plans for a third adoption from Vietnam. While admirable of the Jolie/Pitt union the there is something that really bothers me about the continuous international adoptions. First off they make it seem like a very simple process. Nothing is ever explained about how the process actually works, or the difficulties that it entails. In fact, to me personally, all the news I read about their adoption journeys make it seem as easy as literally going into a store and putting in an application for an instant credit card. I also hate the fact that the media eats it up and paints a picture like...."this week this one is adopting from Vietnam"... comparable to the Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan boy toy of the week....it is not that simple. And my friend Susan (isn't' that funny, every time I talk about her I call her "my friend Susan' as opposed to what? anyway....) says it best....Angie needs to tell the real story. Adoption is hard, it calls for patience and strength. Adoption calls for faith. Adoption calls for hope. Adoption isn't easy. I am happy for the Jolie/Pitt adoptions....the Madonna/Guy Richie adoptions...it is all good. They are raising the awareness that adoption is important and is vital to the survival of our world....however, when telling this story...share the whole truth. The blood tests, the criminal checks, the agonizing, the scrutinizing, the loneliness, the lost feelings, the anger that it can't go faster, the fear that your child is alone in some dark and cold orphanage in a world thousands of miles away. Adoption is for me. Adoption is the way I will give birth to my daughter. I beg the Angelina Jolie's of the world....tell the whole story, damn it!