Sunday, July 08, 2007

I had a very nice weekend this weekend. It was nice to not have too many plans and just kind of chill. Joe worked strange hours this weekend, so I was left to my own devices, and spent the time wisely. I 've recently enrolled in a 96 hour Advanced Corporate Coaching Program, so I have lots of studying. Additionally, I'm working on plans for my Waiting Family Support Group. Needess to say, I was able to keep myself busy. Today, my friends Alice, Larry and their unbelivably cute daughter Olivia came to the pool with me. In the development we live in there is a huge pool club with a resturant/grill/bar and all. It can easily feel like you are at a resort if you shut your eyes and day dream....which I always do at the pool. There are tons of kids, and I am watching them grow up summer after summer. I am infamous for closing my eyes at the pool and just imagining. Summer one, I was finishing up some fertility treatments and still considering the fact that I might get pregnant. I daydreamed alot about the possiblity of IVF and Donor eggs and those sorts of choices. Summer two, I had major GYN surgery and deep down thought that perhaps I still could get pregnant. I daydreamed about babies in general as I sat by the pool that summer. Was I meant to be a mother? Summer three, last summer, I was finishing up the Paperchase. I was getting documents notarized,waiting on Immigration approval and all that stuff that the paperchase entails. I was daydreaming about a baby that would quite possibly be in my arms by the following fall. The name Lia-Rose was just coming to be. And now Summer four, everyone I see by the pool asks me when the baby will be here? Everyone asks how I am doing. The daydreaming is different. In a sense, my baby, Lia-Rose is much more real then ever before. The past summers it was just an idea of the it's more the reality of what is going to happen. I have a feeling that next summer, she won't be here but she will be closer. I am hoping my daydreams next summer will be more about the nursery that I am putting together, the tons of babysitters that I have interviewed and about my newly appointed work schedule. Next summer I will be much closer. This summer, I will still dream.

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