A true case of the blues

So I admit it. I have the blues. The kind where you want to cry over a gallon of ice-cream. Where even a shopping spree for new pants cause your old ones are too baggy on you won't cheer you up. The kind that we are all feeling right now. I attribute my blues to the fact that our one year LID is really just around the corner. Instead of feeling happy...'yeah I am 12 months closer', I feel a little disillusioned and detached. We all know the story, we have heard it on numerous accounts. The wait times have increased, and the scary part is they keep increasing. It's the strangest way to get to goal that I have ever ever experienced. Usually, you start something, you have the steps in mind to help you get there, you have a timetable for completion, and then it's done. Imagine a football game with no ending. You keep running down the field and there is no goal post in sight. How do u score that touchdown? That's what I feel like today. A quarterback taking the ball and just running...running and running. I have no idea where the football references are coming from my friends, I am so not really a football fan. I guess it's the fall weather and the fact that the town I live in is across the river from Giants Stadium. You can smell football in the air at this time of year.

Anyway, I really want my blues to clear up. I am sick of this nagging feeling. I notice I am doubting more, and I don't want to. I want to continue to believe. Believe that this is going to happen.

My red thread bracelet broke this week. Joe and I had purchased several last year and both have worn them. My stepdaughter Annie too. It was a symbol for me that we were all in this together. And this was happening. Both of their bracelets broke months ago and we got them new ones....mine didn't. I saw that as some sort of sign (you know me, everything is a sign) Anyway...it broke this week. I asked Joe, did he think it meant something. He said yes, it meant that the thread wore out and I needed to get a new one. He is right. It means nothing. I can't change anything. I need to stay true to myself and really believe.

I ordered new red threads and I should get them later today. I think it will just make me feel better seeing them. Anyway, I am rambling right now. And that's o'k too. The best way to beat the blues is to let your feelings out. To share them and to just know that they are feelings. They are not fact. Keep believing...keep believing!