I am on the Acella from Providence to NYC. I have been away since Monday on an exciting business trip that has left me both exhausted and exhilarated. Tomorrow I wake up to another full day of meetings, a huge business to do list, and a zillion things to catch up on. I have my lap top. Cell phone and crack I mean blackberry attached to my hip. As I like to say, I am moving and grooving. I love this. Always have. I thrive like this. Always have. I can work 24-7, and I am sorry to say, I love it. I always have. So will that make me a terrible mommy? I will be a full-time working mom. That is the way it is, of choice and, that is the way it is. I will not be able to do play dates with L-R everyday,or be with her when she wakes from her naps. I am sorry my baby. But, you better believe she will be well looked after and given all the love in the world. Selfishly I work because I love it, but I also work to help provide the most wonderful life I can for her. Every time I pick up the phone and pitch business, meet with a client and coach them or stand up in a room filled with people and train and develop them, it is all for you baby girl. Far off in China there is a little baby who in my heart I believe is alive and waiting for us. I am doing this all for our family. I work hard to make a great life for u. So does your daddy! I want you to be proud of us. Tonight I called my sister's to tell her how exciting my week was. She was not home but my wonderful niece Sydney was. I gave her an edited version for a twelve almost thirteen year of what I had been doing. I said you would have been proud of me Syd! She said, I am always proud of you Aunt Wendi! Now that felt great! Thank you Syd!
Two other things. On the comments on my last two post Anon left a comment that was probably taken the wrong way by me and my blogger buds (esp KJo)...this dear person felt awful! Please do not! I thought u were someone (and so did Lori) and just by fact that we thought this person might have said that...pissed us off! LOL. Thank you for your deep concern. Xoxo
Now on a very serious note, my deepest sympathies to my blogger and LID BFF "D" and her family. - an so sorry for your loss. I love you and we have not even met!
(Forgive typos, I am on my blackberry)
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1 comment:
Hi Wendi!
Chiming in to say I totally relate to your dilema! However, what you will one day (soon) realize that your priorities completely and totally re-adjust themselves so that work is the way you make your money to pay your bills and have fun things to do on the weekends.
I agree that its critical to do something you love to work at, because it would completely suck to be stuck working a job you hate when the person you love most in the world is waiting for you to come home!
The downside of this is that you can get so caught up that you realize that you've submerged yourself in Mommydom and Wendi the individual gets little time to surface. It's that way for me sometimes..which is why it's important for me that I work :)
And a great flexible daycare is crucial!
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