I am sick

I mean chills, aches, exhaustion and basic yuckiness. No fever, although I feel like I have one. I'm also sick with worry. Part of me says relax, the other says, you don't know what's going to be. I'm so scared something will go wrong. Still no word back from my facilitator. I know why. She probably is embarrassed that the date was not set in stone, so she is waiting until it is to email me back. My contact in Taiwan told me that she had to re-translate some of our paperwork. I guess the good news is that the fact that they asked means they are processing our paperwork. Someone looked and saw they needed some more information. I just feel totally paralyzed. It's awful.I have so much to do. I'm scared to do it. I saw my baby girl on Friday night as a nice surprise, not a great connection. I started to cry. She screamed Mommy, and I cried. I just want to breathe, to enjoy this period of time. Be excited about her coming. I'm just fearful and I hate that. It's my immediate reaction. When I sit back and think about it, I know all will be o'k...but it takes me time to get to that feeling. I feel guilty too. I feel guilty that I've been so blessed to find her. But then I realize , it's not about me...it's about this little beautiful little girl finding her family. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Anyway...I feel sick. Not sure if it's brought on my all this emotional stressful thinking of if the fact that I'm working ALOT and am exhausted is the reason. I just want to get into the holiday spirit and enjoy!!