Happy New Year !!!!

Hearing is set!!!! January 16th, 2008!

Can I say excited!!!!


Happy Happy New Year!

I was thinking that before I knew who Lia was I was constantly blogging. Telling her how much I loved her. Expressing my feelings and thoughts. Now that I know who she is...why aren't I feeling the need to blog? It's is certainly not because I don't love her...but what is is I believe that I'm nervous. Scared. And frankly, holding back a bit. I know it makes no sense. I am beyond in love. But, this journey has been so filled with ups and downs I think not talking about it is a bit easier for me right now. I do want her to know when she reads this one day that I loved her from the moment I set eyes on her. Lia, you and I were born to be mother and daughter. I am so certain of this. I am beyond in love with you child. I love that you know us. I know you don't understand what this all means when they tell you that we are your mommy and daddy. But know that we are going to be there for you for the rest of your life. I pledge to be the best person I can be. To give my all for you and to you. You are every single breath I take. Every dream I have. Ever move I make. (I know I sound like a song from the Police, I just realized that.) Lia Tsz-Huei I love you. I'd be there tomorrow if I could ....you'll be here soon.

We were suppose to chat tonight with Lia but the webcam gave us issues....I emailed Grace the translator to tell her that we were having issues and to let Nanny and Lia know we were trying to get them. Among other things, this is what Grace told me in her reply... "Nanny said Lia is very happy about all the stuff you sent, she keep telling other kids at the school about Daddy and Mommy sending her these stuff. ( show off, I guess. Ha! Ha! )"

That is my girl. How awesome is this!

No word on courtdate...our faciliator and I spoke and she explained that when the notification came from the courts they assumed it was the court date...not that more information was needed. But, she also said she isn't concerned and that we should have soon.

I also started filling out more paperwork for "exit" and it was surreal to actually be filling it in with her name...albiet a very long name...so Lia is her first name and her middle name is officially Tsz-Huei Rose. Or is it Lia-Rose officially as the first name and Tsz-Huei as the middle....ugh! Poor kid. Any suggestions...

Happy Chrismaskah

Lia Tsz-Huei will be raised Jewish, with a daddy who is not. She will celebrate all the holidays...yes, Christmas too...more for the fun of it. She deserves it all.
Joe and I were just saying this is the weirdest night ever. I am still sick. He is in bed sleeping. We have no plans. We are waiting for Lia...for next year when our plan is to celebrate with her in Australia.

Lia Tsz-Huei...we love you and are just waiting for you ....any day now..any day now.
Happy Holidays all...

Good energy, please

No wonder. No wonder nothing is happening. I am putting out such negative energy. Anxiousness, fear, mistrust. Not a way to be thinking. I am trying so hard to put myself back into the positive zone. I am still not feeling well. Just so tired. Achy, yucky.

I did hear from Dina..the Facilitator ...who basically said what I knew...she doesn't have the date now because they needed some more information from us. I am was too tired to get into it with her. I know they are working on it.

I have Lia's little pink coat. What I saw her wearing when we first met. I accidentally took it home with me and I love having it here. It makes her more real for me. It's hanging in my room now. It gives me comfort to think of her in it.

Anyway, I am really too tired to write...but I just want to start put out the good energy again...and so it will be.

I am sick

I mean chills, aches, exhaustion and basic yuckiness. No fever, although I feel like I have one. I'm also sick with worry. Part of me says relax, the other says, you don't know what's going to be. I'm so scared something will go wrong. Still no word back from my facilitator. I know why. She probably is embarrassed that the date was not set in stone, so she is waiting until it is to email me back. My contact in Taiwan told me that she had to re-translate some of our paperwork. I guess the good news is that the fact that they asked means they are processing our paperwork. Someone looked and saw they needed some more information. I just feel totally paralyzed. It's awful.I have so much to do. I'm scared to do it. I saw my baby girl on Friday night as a nice surprise, not a great connection. I started to cry. She screamed Mommy, and I cried. I just want to breathe, to enjoy this period of time. Be excited about her coming. I'm just fearful and I hate that. It's my immediate reaction. When I sit back and think about it, I know all will be o'k...but it takes me time to get to that feeling. I feel guilty too. I feel guilty that I've been so blessed to find her. But then I realize , it's not about me...it's about this little beautiful little girl finding her family. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Anyway...I feel sick. Not sure if it's brought on my all this emotional stressful thinking of if the fact that I'm working ALOT and am exhausted is the reason. I just want to get into the holiday spirit and enjoy!!

Maybe not!

There may have been a miscommunication ...I have way to many sources :)
The translator wrote me that the court had needed some more information on the case...at least that was the correspondance she saw.She in fact translated something for them. I am waiting to hear if there was another letter giving court date that she wasn't aware of. My facilator said there was yesterday. I know it's confusing...back to being in a holding pattern, feeling sick and being optimistic!

First Hearing date!!!

January...waiting on when..but January!

Yes!!!! xoxo

The problem with me

I have a way about me that people feel that can share with me....everything. This is a very nice attribute to have, but at times too much information is simply that...too much information. I can't discuss details, and I don't want to put out a panic, but I've learned something that is making me so worried. I know it will be fine...but I do worry and I'm trying not too. The fact of the matter is this is not about Joe or me anymore, it's about Lia Tsz-Huei Rose....so that is who I think and worry about. I feel a bit paralyzed by it...but it will be o'k. Don't ask me, even you my shish. I just need to put this to bed for awhile and not worry on it. This post will serve as that...a put it out there and put it away. All will be fine. This is our story...not someone else's.

It's hard webchatting

Slow connection, bad sound..but I love it. I want them to get Skype..so much better, but every second of seeing her is so worth it... we heard lots of love yous and Papa...plus she did our famous 1-2-3-4-5...give me 5! We are head over heels and can't wait till our next conversation


Oh did I mention, I love my daughter!!

Now...do you think I should do the room Pink and Brown..I am so stupid and bad at this...KJo will u do it for me? Lori??? Help!

Today is four weeks

Today is exactly four weeks we have been in line for our court date in Taiwan. They tell us it takes between four to eight weeks to get the hearing date....basically, depending on the judges schedule. So...I can say now, any day now.

I'm really going through Tsz-Huei withdrawal. I miss her. Yikes, I have to get over this quickly as I have alot to do...but I feel sad, I miss her and I am so happy I can talk to her tonight. The truth is my baby is happy. She doesn't miss us or cry for us. I dreamt last night I saw her and she ran away. She wanted to be with her Nanny. THat's o'k. I just want her to be happy. And if means running away from me right now, that's o'k.

I am not complaining

But I miss Lia Tsz-Huei Rose...oy vey I can't stand it!!!!
Ok...enough...I gotta stop looking at her photos, watching the video...need to work, so I don't think about her...but I can't...oh well. It ain't possible. I love that kid ...I want that kid. I can not wait for her!!

We have a date...every Sunday and Wednesday night at 7p...our webchat!!! I am also going to email some new photos...(Lori Caplan-Clark aka Ahi..please please please send me photos and something from Addison Michaela. )


Back to work...

Alot to do

I have officially declared myself burnt out. Truly tired, exhausted and emotionally drained. It's also that time of the month so it works well that my cramps have kicked me on my back, into my big comfy bed. But I have a lot to do, and feel at this moment, a little overwhelmed. So when I feel this way, I give myself a break and take it ....one step at a time.

Here's what I have to do..I'm sure there is more, but suddenly I'm feeling that you my sweet little Lia Tsz-Huei will be sooner rather then later, and we better get ready.

1. Start cleaning out closets and drawers. Throw away everything that you haven't worn in the last year. Donate it to Goodwill. Get it out of the house. This includes shoes, boots and handbags.

2. Decide what color you want the room to be. What color you want the furniture to be and make a decision and stick to it. I keep going back and forth between keeping the room the color it is (lavender=ish) which in fact I painted that color four ears ago with the intention that this would be my child's room. However, I am drawn to the pink and brown theme as well-although that is way to "in" and everyone is doing it. I also love the darker furniture-it's classy and will last a lifetime. We are getting a trundle vs a double bad. Right into a grown up bed by the way, she is ready. With sides of course.

3. Makes some decisions on childcare. Start looking for a great babysitter, check out all the schools and daycares. (I have started this process by the way)

4. Learn chinese. I have to.

5. Get a head of the game with work,so I can take off a little longer.

6. Save, save and save money. Btween the economy faltering and the adoption expenses, it makes me nervous and want to make sure we have lots of cash on hand. Note to shish and family, not going crazy with Haunnukah gifts this years. O'k?
I know me, I probably won't abide by this.

7.Send another care package to my love. I sent her one this weekend. I'd like to send every few weeks. Along with cards.

8. Babyproof the place for a very active three year old.

9. Get my butt into the gym no less then four days a week. Been slacking and not eating as good. Stress. But no excuse, and I need to get back on the wagon. So, this officially puts it out there and I'm going to do it. I need to be in tip top shape when this very active three year old gets her.

10. Carve out special time with the husband. It's important.

One week closer.

We are back from Taiwan a week now. Remember how everything revolved around our LID of 10-27-06. That means nothing to me know. The date that counts is 11/13/08. That was the day we were logged into the Taiwanese court system. So now we wait for our first court date. The day our Power of Attorney walks in (that is the Orphanage director by the way) and says, we want Tsz-Huei. They court will ask questions, she might ask for birthmother to show. We don't know. The judge will rule that day and then we will wait I think 10 days for a final ruling. Once that is done. We are off to Taiwan.

I spent the day with Dina today. The faciliator. She thinks it will happen within just few months! Fingers crossed. We are almost there.

I went furniture shopping today. I am going to do the room in Pink and Brown. More on this soon..but very exciting.

Modern technology

I webchatted with my daughter tonight! How great is that ...they rang me and I saw that face and heard that little voice. it will keep me going...thank god for that. Thank god. We are so lucky.

She said I love you mommmy and I love you daddy.
She squirmed, she screamed, she laughed. She was my Lia Tsz-Huei!

Lia says her name and mama and papa too!

Playing Peek-a-Boo..Lia style

What a difference a day makes (day two)

This was from day two in Taiwan!!!

Spoke to my baby

We spoke to Lia tonight! The webcam wasn't working but we heard her voice. Someone there could type in English. They told us that ...she kisses our picture every night, plays with our toys and misses us! O'k, I'm crying now..gotta go :)

I love this picture

If you look on top of heap of shoes you'll see a tiny pair of sneakers....Lia Tsz-Huei Rose decided to put her sneakers in the closet with her mommy's...so she throw them in...I loved it! I love her.

Good news...we get to webchat with her tomorrow night! I can't wait.

Some things I learned about my daughter

She likes crunchy foods-crackers, chips, animal cracker cookies
Not so big on chocolate
Loves juices, tea, water, sprit
Hates milk
Ate squid, oysters, sushi, eggs, noodles, hotdog, dumplings, rice, chicken, french fries (well actually the ketchup on the French Fry) fruit, cereal
Ate cereal with chopsticks and thought it was really funny
Doesn't like onions or peppers
May or may not know how to brush her teeth
Loves taking baths
Loves mechanical toy rides
Will walk up to strangers and hugs babies
Squeals really loud when she is really happy
Makes "strawberry" sounds
Not interested in television
Can count to five in English 1-2-3-4-5 ...Give me Five!
Can count to five in Chinese and then say in english...Give me Five!
Can be very bossy
Loves to run
Loves her Mama to hold her
Loves her new teddy bear and blanket we gave her
Sleeps across the bed

I keep pinching myself

I have jet lag. Haven't slept through the night since we got home. So I lay awake and I keep pinching myself. Is this real? Could this be? I watch the video over and over. I have her little toothbrush that we used when she stayed with me. The pj's she wore. The little outfit she left behind. I can't believe it. I remember when Joe and I were seperated due to immigration. We were engaged and then he had to leave the country to apply for his Visa. We were apart for six months. We spoke at least twice a day. Emails in between. Yet, I still worried. I still doubted. I guess it's just my psyche. The neurotic jew in me. I feel the same way now. I get this anxious feeling. She is so far away and I can't do anything for her except wait the next few months out. At least this wait has an end in sight. I am thanking god for that, yet, I do keep pinching myself....but this is real! She needs us. Lia Tsz-Huei Rose we will be there soon.