Sex and the Weekend

How very inappropriate for my adoption blog! Now what were you thinking. I was referring to the fact that I spent a good portion of some "down" time this weekend watching old Sex and the City reruns. I can't tell you how spending that time took me back about 8 years. Back to the days of living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, living in my 400 square foot fourth floor brownstone walkup on West 81^st Street. I loved that little (and I mean little) apartment. To me it was my sanctuary, my castle in the sky. I used to love climbing up the fire escape onto the roof and spy down on all the backyards of the brownstones below. My life then was good, albeit, lonely at times. I dated, I saw my friends, I worked, I drank cosmopolitans (no joke), I dreamed of a steady boyfriend. I shopped, I worked in political campaigns and fell in love with these little babies –my nieces who entered my life during these days.

It definitely was a simpler time. I had literally no food in my apartment. Why cook for one when the Shining Star diner was two blocks away? They knew me by name and had my favorite meal –Chicken on top of a big salad, pickles, decaf and melba toasts on the side (Yep, I guess not everything has changed) ready before I even sat down.

Life was about dreaming. Dreaming of my future. Longing for my partner. I related so much to the girls in Sex and the City. It seemed like their lives were imitating parts of my own. I had my Mr. Big definitely two Bergers and I believe that Joe in a sense, is my Aidan.

When I watched this weekend, it came all back to me. I felt like that thirty-something year old again. I felt the angst. The excitement. The hysteria. I am so happy that my life is where it is today. I wonder; when the movie comes out, will the girls seem settled. Will their dreams come true? I know that Charlotte has a daughter from China. I find that wonderfully ironic.

But the big takeaway I came away with this weekend is this…when I was in my thirties and living in the City , I was WAITING for a man. I felt at times like my life was on hold. I didn't realize how much I had back then. I enjoyed it, but why not more? I was waiting for my life to begin-or better stated-waiting to meet Mr. Right. I spent far too many hours not enjoying what I had then but merely focused on what I didn't have. They truly were the good old days. So as I wait for my baby, and dream for what it will be with her, I need to savor every moment of this..right now and enjoy. For one day, this too shall be the good old days…waiting or not.