Monday, April 28, 2008
Back to reality
The joyfulness of the last few days was such a great break for me. I am so tired and exhausted my friends. I feel spent. This adoption process is truly the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I just read that they have halted adoptions in Vietnam. I feel so sorry for those families who were patiently in line waiting, and all their dreams have been squashed. It's so unfair. And I am so god-damn tired of being angry. But it's so unfair that there are children who need families. And, we wait. We sit and we move through life and remain faithful...but who the hell knows anymore. I sound angry. I am. I am tired. So tired of just dreaming. Of always being the one who dreams about it. I am tired of remaining optmistic. I am tired of saying "it will happen". I am tired of this. What if it doesn't? I spoke to my Agency today. They have no updates. Everyone is at a loss for words. This hurts more then you can imagine...although I know there are so many of you out there that understands. I am crying. I am tired. I don't know anymore. Back to reality.
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5 comments:
I won't give you fluff. I'll give you a big hug instead. Just know that I get it...I'm here if you need to vent.
Reality can really suck sometimes. Hugs from Pacey and I.
xoxo
I'm not proud, I'll offer you a little fluff. :-)
Seriously, you know I know that this sucks something fierce. But I hope you'll continue to feel and appreciate the reality of all the friendship, love, and accomplishments of your life, even as you endure this emotionally gruelling journey to fill in the (huge) missing piece.
And with that, a big ol' hug from this friend anytime you need one...
I got nothing - feeling the same - very tired.
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