Thursday, March 06, 2008

A sense

I know that I've been hormonally charged lately. But, I also know that in some sort of way, when I am at my emotionally "craziest" and by crazy I mean when I am "feeling" everything, I am also the most deeply in touch with myself and with the world around me. I am not sure that makes sense, although it really does to me I hadn't mentioned this before but last week I was sleeping,. In the middle of the night I awoke with a sharp pain right below my shoulder and above my heart. (Don't worry mommy, I am fine) It took my breath away, and for a moment I thought I had some sort of heart attack. But then suddenly my eyes flew wide open. I thought Lia-Rose. I am "feeling" my daughter. She needs me right now. Somehow this pain I was feeling was connected to her. It didn't hurt anymore in a physical way. I just know I was feeling my child. Perhaps at that moment she was in pain. Perhaps she was crying. Perhaps she was thinking of me. I know this will sound crazy to some. I don't care. I haven't felt that pain again. I am totally fine. Nothing is wrong with me. I truly believe that pain was a "wake up call". My baby is alive right now. I am sure of it. They say a mother always knows. My mom knows when I am in pain, she does. She has s sixth sense about it. It's amazing. Even though we aren't officially together now, Lia-Rose and I are already connected. I can feel her. I can. It keeps me going. It keeps me focused. It keeps my hope alive. My baby and I will be together.

PS How great is this...my new neighbors are Chinese...and they have a 12 year old daughter...I love the thought of having a young person right downstairs...a built in baby sitter that can help me communicate with my daughter. God, I sure prepare a head don't I?


 

5 comments:

Lori said...

I always was able to feel my children's pain. When Hayley was a baby, if she had an earache, I would too. I do believe in that connection.

Jocelyn said...

You gave me the chills...you and Lia-Rose will be together sooner then later, I can feel that!

Daniella said...

I'm with the sooner than later too!!!

Julie said...

Way to trust those instincts! You are right, these are all terrific "signs" that your baby girl is closer than you think - stay positive!

-OLM :)

KJ said...

i am just catching up on all your blogs now -- and i too have chills. of course you know, you are a mommy! wow...