Wednesday, November 28, 2007

what to do

Trust me. This blog post is about to suck. If you are a waiting parent, you may want to sign off right now. If you are about to meet or have your baby, please do not let me spoil your mood. If you are related to me or a close friend, right now you are asked to please not say the word patience or I understand. I am sorry, you don't. I may sound all bitchy and pissed off. I am. This is going to be me very angry and completely sick of this situation. And I do not know what to do. It is that time of the month. Referral rumors. And they are not looking to good. Months ago, when we were two months into the four months it took to get through November 05, the big word out there was that December would mean a bit of a speed up. They were going to be able to get through more dossiers, faster. Then by 2008, they would do half months at a time. Bull-shit. Rumor has it that they will may be process another week. This is friggin' crazy. I mean come on! There is so unfair. Thousands of us are waiting. I know I know, there are the babies too waiting...that is another thing. But right now I am just over the top. At this rate it will take another three years to get my child. I truly am at.a loss for words. I swear I am getting older as is Joe. I want to be around as long as possible for this child. I want my parents to be here. I do not know what to do. All I want is to build a family. I have the right to mother. I have the desire. I want my child. I do not blame anyone for this. I am just begging for some sort of direction. I am pleading to the universe for some sort of sign that this will work out. I am tired. Tired of smiliing and being patient. Dear god, give me the strength to figure this out. We need something positive to keep us going. Plese, a sign, some direction. I love you all. Please do not comment and say this is going to work out or be patient. Right now there our hundreds of us that need to hear more. Tell me what to do.

12 comments:

Susan said...

No advice, sweetie...just a hug.

Call me.

xoxoxo

Joanne said...

A friend of mine changed programs and is now adopting from Taiwan - the wait is much shorter, you can request a girl and (supposedly) be home with your baby within a year.
She said the paperwork change is no big deal (compared to putting together a China dossier) ~ good luck and sendin hugs!

audrey said...

Well your blog said everything I have been feeling. In fact, for the first time yesterday when emailing my sister in law I actually said that this adoption may not become a reality for us and I do not know how to cope and am in too much pain. And yet somewhere in the back of my mind I have it that this was meant to be (that is we were meant to have a daughter from China late, and I mean late in life.) But I just don't know and am feeling extremely depressed. Guess I haven't cheered you up. (By the way, I think we are too old to adopt from Taiwan according to their requirements. What a surprise.) I'm so sad.

The Blessing that is LIA said...

Audrey, I didn't want you to read this. I know you are feeling the same way. Call me later. xo

Daniella said...

I left you a voicemail.

stephanie said...

Oh my dear, sweet Wendi. It sucks. I have so much to say to you and I will wait until we're together. Immediately after hugs and drinks ordered.

xoxoxo

annmarie said...

I applaud you for speaking your mind...and I'm sending over a hug and a stiff drink...

Dear Hazel said...

Back atcha... Cyber hug my friend!

Joanne said...

Me again .... and I don't mean to intrude - I REALLY want to help!

As you know, we went thru the WC program and have our darling home with us! That is always an option!

Also, (Audrey) check out the ages for the Taiwan program...my friend is in her mid-40's !

Saying a prayer for you !!

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I am also a waiting parent. There is absolutely nothing easy about the wait. Hang tough.

Jannine
LID 5/15/06

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Ok... I won't say anything but also sending you a hug... a big Aussie hug at that...

JoAnn in NJ said...

Hi Wendi,
So sorry that you're so blue. I would be if I were in your shoes, so feel bad and have a good cry for yourself and Lia Rose.

If I were in your place, I would switch to the SN group in a heartbeat. The goal is to parent and there are so many children that have small SN and are really healthy. Plus, you are such a caring and big hearted woman, I'm sure this might be something you could do :)

Keeping my prayers for you and those out there in real pain. I remember how bad it felt and how unsure the process was.

Take care!