The problem with me

I have a way about me that people feel that can share with me....everything. This is a very nice attribute to have, but at times too much information is simply that...too much information. I can't discuss details, and I don't want to put out a panic, but I've learned something that is making me so worried. I know it will be fine...but I do worry and I'm trying not too. The fact of the matter is this is not about Joe or me anymore, it's about Lia Tsz-Huei Rose....so that is who I think and worry about. I feel a bit paralyzed by it...but it will be o'k. Don't ask me, even you my shish. I just need to put this to bed for awhile and not worry on it. This post will serve as that...a put it out there and put it away. All will be fine. This is our story...not someone else's.

It's hard webchatting

Slow connection, bad sound..but I love it. I want them to get Skype..so much better, but every second of seeing her is so worth it... we heard lots of love yous and Papa...plus she did our famous 1-2-3-4-5...give me 5! We are head over heels and can't wait till our next conversation


Oh did I mention, I love my daughter!!

Now...do you think I should do the room Pink and Brown..I am so stupid and bad at this...KJo will u do it for me? Lori??? Help!

Today is four weeks

Today is exactly four weeks we have been in line for our court date in Taiwan. They tell us it takes between four to eight weeks to get the hearing date....basically, depending on the judges schedule. So...I can say now, any day now.

I'm really going through Tsz-Huei withdrawal. I miss her. Yikes, I have to get over this quickly as I have alot to do...but I feel sad, I miss her and I am so happy I can talk to her tonight. The truth is my baby is happy. She doesn't miss us or cry for us. I dreamt last night I saw her and she ran away. She wanted to be with her Nanny. THat's o'k. I just want her to be happy. And if means running away from me right now, that's o'k.

I am not complaining

But I miss Lia Tsz-Huei Rose...oy vey I can't stand it!!!!
Ok...enough...I gotta stop looking at her photos, watching the video...need to work, so I don't think about her...but I can't...oh well. It ain't possible. I love that kid ...I want that kid. I can not wait for her!!

We have a date...every Sunday and Wednesday night at 7p...our webchat!!! I am also going to email some new photos...(Lori Caplan-Clark aka Ahi..please please please send me photos and something from Addison Michaela. )


Back to work...

Alot to do

I have officially declared myself burnt out. Truly tired, exhausted and emotionally drained. It's also that time of the month so it works well that my cramps have kicked me on my back, into my big comfy bed. But I have a lot to do, and feel at this moment, a little overwhelmed. So when I feel this way, I give myself a break and take it ....one step at a time.

Here's what I have to do..I'm sure there is more, but suddenly I'm feeling that you my sweet little Lia Tsz-Huei will be sooner rather then later, and we better get ready.

1. Start cleaning out closets and drawers. Throw away everything that you haven't worn in the last year. Donate it to Goodwill. Get it out of the house. This includes shoes, boots and handbags.

2. Decide what color you want the room to be. What color you want the furniture to be and make a decision and stick to it. I keep going back and forth between keeping the room the color it is (lavender=ish) which in fact I painted that color four ears ago with the intention that this would be my child's room. However, I am drawn to the pink and brown theme as well-although that is way to "in" and everyone is doing it. I also love the darker furniture-it's classy and will last a lifetime. We are getting a trundle vs a double bad. Right into a grown up bed by the way, she is ready. With sides of course.

3. Makes some decisions on childcare. Start looking for a great babysitter, check out all the schools and daycares. (I have started this process by the way)

4. Learn chinese. I have to.

5. Get a head of the game with work,so I can take off a little longer.

6. Save, save and save money. Btween the economy faltering and the adoption expenses, it makes me nervous and want to make sure we have lots of cash on hand. Note to shish and family, not going crazy with Haunnukah gifts this years. O'k?
I know me, I probably won't abide by this.

7.Send another care package to my love. I sent her one this weekend. I'd like to send every few weeks. Along with cards.

8. Babyproof the place for a very active three year old.

9. Get my butt into the gym no less then four days a week. Been slacking and not eating as good. Stress. But no excuse, and I need to get back on the wagon. So, this officially puts it out there and I'm going to do it. I need to be in tip top shape when this very active three year old gets her.

10. Carve out special time with the husband. It's important.

One week closer.

We are back from Taiwan a week now. Remember how everything revolved around our LID of 10-27-06. That means nothing to me know. The date that counts is 11/13/08. That was the day we were logged into the Taiwanese court system. So now we wait for our first court date. The day our Power of Attorney walks in (that is the Orphanage director by the way) and says, we want Tsz-Huei. They court will ask questions, she might ask for birthmother to show. We don't know. The judge will rule that day and then we will wait I think 10 days for a final ruling. Once that is done. We are off to Taiwan.

I spent the day with Dina today. The faciliator. She thinks it will happen within just few months! Fingers crossed. We are almost there.

I went furniture shopping today. I am going to do the room in Pink and Brown. More on this soon..but very exciting.

Modern technology

I webchatted with my daughter tonight! How great is that ...they rang me and I saw that face and heard that little voice. it will keep me going...thank god for that. Thank god. We are so lucky.

She said I love you mommmy and I love you daddy.
She squirmed, she screamed, she laughed. She was my Lia Tsz-Huei!

Lia says her name and mama and papa too!

Playing Peek-a-Boo..Lia style

What a difference a day makes (day two)

This was from day two in Taiwan!!!

Spoke to my baby

We spoke to Lia tonight! The webcam wasn't working but we heard her voice. Someone there could type in English. They told us that ...she kisses our picture every night, plays with our toys and misses us! O'k, I'm crying now..gotta go :)

I love this picture

If you look on top of heap of shoes you'll see a tiny pair of sneakers....Lia Tsz-Huei Rose decided to put her sneakers in the closet with her mommy's...so she throw them in...I loved it! I love her.

Good news...we get to webchat with her tomorrow night! I can't wait.

Some things I learned about my daughter

She likes crunchy foods-crackers, chips, animal cracker cookies
Not so big on chocolate
Loves juices, tea, water, sprit
Hates milk
Ate squid, oysters, sushi, eggs, noodles, hotdog, dumplings, rice, chicken, french fries (well actually the ketchup on the French Fry) fruit, cereal
Ate cereal with chopsticks and thought it was really funny
Doesn't like onions or peppers
May or may not know how to brush her teeth
Loves taking baths
Loves mechanical toy rides
Will walk up to strangers and hugs babies
Squeals really loud when she is really happy
Makes "strawberry" sounds
Not interested in television
Can count to five in English 1-2-3-4-5 ...Give me Five!
Can count to five in Chinese and then say in english...Give me Five!
Can be very bossy
Loves to run
Loves her Mama to hold her
Loves her new teddy bear and blanket we gave her
Sleeps across the bed

I keep pinching myself

I have jet lag. Haven't slept through the night since we got home. So I lay awake and I keep pinching myself. Is this real? Could this be? I watch the video over and over. I have her little toothbrush that we used when she stayed with me. The pj's she wore. The little outfit she left behind. I can't believe it. I remember when Joe and I were seperated due to immigration. We were engaged and then he had to leave the country to apply for his Visa. We were apart for six months. We spoke at least twice a day. Emails in between. Yet, I still worried. I still doubted. I guess it's just my psyche. The neurotic jew in me. I feel the same way now. I get this anxious feeling. She is so far away and I can't do anything for her except wait the next few months out. At least this wait has an end in sight. I am thanking god for that, yet, I do keep pinching myself....but this is real! She needs us. Lia Tsz-Huei Rose we will be there soon.

My Lia-Rose

She is everything I ever dreamed her to be. She is smart, she is sassy, she is beautiful, she has personality, she has a strength that neither her father or I have. We have met our Lia-Rose. I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to post this story here. I was feeling cautious. But we just got off of a plane after spending a week in Taiwan, the birth country of our daughter. On 8-8-08 of this year Lia-Rose's file was presented to us. The chance to adopt from Taiwan came out of the blue and we are so grateful to our agency for presenting us this chance. Her photo caught us by surprise. We both recognized her at once. She is our girl. She is three years old (as of August 26th) and is a cute as a button. I will keep Lia's story to ourselves, but the wonderful news is that we truly know her story. I love that one day I'll be able to share with my daugther some of the good and perhaps the not so good of losing your birthfamily. But there is a sense of completeness that I can share with her.

Once we were given the sign-off from the appropriate people in Taiwan, we were told it would be o'k if we visited her. Note, it is not mandatory in Taiwan, but we felt that any chance to meet our daughter was a chance we wouldn't not pass up. We left last Saturday and just got back. Oh my god. I can't tell you what a trip this was.
Lia is being looked at by a Foundation (sort of like an orphange). She lives right now with a Nanny and her husband and another little girl in Foster Care. She is well taken care of and loved. She is a very well-adjusted child for someone who has been through quite a lot in her three years. We met with her Social workers and doctors. They wanted us to know everything. To make us feel secure. Then, the best part, we got three days with Lia. Three days on our own. We went to the zoo, to the museum, out to eat, shopping. Played in the hotel suite. We just enjoyed each other's company. It was amazing!

The process isn't over yet. We now wait a court date (about 4-8 more weeks). Once the judge signs off (and they believe this should be fairly quickly) we await a visa from the US Embassy in Taiwan. This might be the hold-up but this could be another 12-15 weeks. Note, we are saying weeks...sounds much faster that way!

Anyway, there are alot stories. I will begin to blog regularily here again.

And now, we unveil to my blog family...little Miss Lia Tsz-Huei Rose Carroll! (By the way, they are officially calling her Lia Tsz-Huei now!)

I am meeting my daughter to be

in three days!

I will be able to unveil her soon! THANK YOU.

Something that may surprise you

Well...some of you know this already. I have been just dying to post here...but am just be cautious as any little good jew is...we are superstitous and a little neurotic about this...but I have to say it!!! Yes, we have a referral! We have seen our little girl. And it's a long story...a miracle actually. She is not in China. She is near China however. And, in less then twenty days we are meeting her. I will report more when we are back, and even post her picture. She is beautiful and sweet and special and incredible. Thank you for making this journey so much easier. I can't tell you how excited and how incredibly blessed I feel.

President Elect Obama

This one is for you Lia-Rose. You will come to America at a time when our culture has shifted. When people will feel and know that no matter what color your skin is, shape your eyes are, or what country you came from-anything is possible. I am so excited to bring you home to a country led by President Obama. Some, don't agree with his policies. Some supported others. But, at the end of the day, we come together-that is what makes America so great. This one is FOR YOU.

Hi out there

I can't say. I wish I could. But not yet. Soon. SHE IS HAPPENING. Unbelievable. More soon....thank you to you and you and you and you.

My friends

It is two years (Tomorrow) that I have been LID in China. I haven't given up hope.
Bear with me...I can fill you in soon. I hope you have all been well.

I have been "Bright" and Nice".

Will explain soon...love you all..if anyone is still out there :)