Sunday, June 13, 2010

I have missed you blog

Wow...seriously long time since I last posted. I completely forgot I had a blog. I loved my blog. I met so many friends through my blog and most importantly I documented my Lia's story on this blog. I just have not had one minute of free time since I brought that little girl into this country exactly one year ago today. Wow. One year she has been home with me. One year of sleeping next to the sweetest little girl (or shall I say falling asleep besides and then waking up in the middle of the night to sleep in my own bed) Facebook had been a great way of informing friends and family of Lia-isms. She is truly FUNNY. But, the whole story is no where to be found and I feel slightly guilty about that. So many mommy's are out there writing all down, I really don't want Lia being left out in the future. Should I make this private or public? I took of the private setting but in light of that will keep names to a minimum. I just don't want to show up in search engines.

So where do I start? Lia is truly incredible. She is very smart. Very beautiful. Huge huge huge personality. The love of my life. She is also extremely exhausting and with one year down in this mommy world I am in now I can honestly say, it didn't necessarily come naturally to me. I don't think I am that great of a mommy. I know I was a great Auntie..but a mommy, I am not sure. Sometimes I feel to tired to make dinner and we go out. Sometimes I don't feel like fighting her to brush her teeth. Sometimes I forget to give her a vitamin. I feel so guilty. It's a horrible thing. This weekend I was exhausted. What did we do. NOTHING. I felt guilty. But, I needed it. SOmetimes I eat her popcorn when she isn't looking. I am so bad. On the plus side, I sit with her everynight and read. No tv after 6:30. We take a warm bath and wash our hair and play games in the bathtub. We take walks outside when the weather is nice. I try to be there every morning to take her to school and every night to pick her up. I think about her all day and miss her about an hour after I leave her. I dream of her. I kiss her constantly and tell her she has made me the luckiest mommy alive. I love this child. I can't be perfect. I can't do it all. But I am trying

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