I am sitting on the computer after taking a beautiful walk this morning. I cried. I cried for Lia. I cried that I can't be there for her. This is the most painful time I have ever gone through. I am trying to remain positive but when one has been in the process for over three years it almost gets hard to believe. I am so glad my blog is private. I am sick of myself being so negative and dont' want the world at large to have any access to these feelings. I'm so sorry I am so negative. I slept in Lia's bed last night. I was in my room and I swear to you I heard the word's "Mommy, come sleep with me please." Oh why do I have to pretend? All my life I have been the one to imagine what things would be like. I am tired of imagining. I just want to hold her. I miss that little one. Lia-Rose is a real person now. Not a figment of my imagination, but a real child, who deserves and needs her mommy. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'd be there if I could. I just can't right now.
Dear g-d,
Please.
Thank you.
Wendi
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It's amazing that after a three year plus wait, the most unbelievable little girl is in our arms....now we are trying to catch our breathe! The party is just beginning!
3 comments:
I am so sorry Wendi, I wish I could make it better for you. You just need to hang on to the fact that Lia is real, and that she WILL come home. You are already such a great Mommy. Hugs to you.
joc
I wish there were words to make this all better. Many hugs and keeping you in my thoughts...
Sending you millions of positive cyber hugs!! Hang in there, the end is in sight. I promise it will all be worth it.
Best Wishes
Karen
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