Sunday, May 04, 2008
Am I wrong?
I have been reading a ton of blogs lately, some with log in's right before me, others several months after...so many of you are shopping and preparing. Painting the nursery, buying clothes and making plans. Family members are giving gifts and helping with the planning. I have to tell you, aside from a few outfits and books, nothing happening here. I have mentioned before that as Jews it is not customary to begin bringing things into the house until the baby is born, but regardless of that, I am not compelled to do more right now. Is that being negative. Should I be doing more? I feel so badly and worried that even though thus is one hell of a long pregnancy, I will one day be completely unprepared. But regardless, the optimisim I read on the blogs that are activily preparing is so wonderful. I want to feel that way too....u believe. I need to again.
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8 comments:
Italians don't believe in buying b4 either. I had nothing when I went into labor with J. For M I have a few things - mostly gifts but a few things I couldn't resist but as of January - nothing has or will come into this house. I wish I could believe again but right now I just don't.
Whether it's the ingrained Jewish thing or just superstition, I'd go with not doing much prep now. You know my whole epic, and anytime I so much as bought a hair clippie it seemed I jinxed everything!
That said, there's no taboo against imaginary shopping and decorating... ;-)
Hey Wendi~
I don't think you're wrong...I felt very superstitious before our referral.
I preplanned a lot of things and actually spent a lot of time redmodeling our office to an office/family room to have more room for toys. I spent time with my support group and did a ton of reading.
I finally got myself in gear about 3 months before I thought I'd get her referral and ordered furniture, painted and got carpeting for the room. But I didn't have the furniture delivered until referral was firmly in hand. In fact, the furniture people saw me once every six weeks come in to touch it :) (it's next to the place I got my hair done)
Why don't you come up with a game plan, colors, type of furniture and do a lot of planning and research? It's fun and can definately help when it comes down to executing.
You can also do things in other rooms that will be "progress" without being specifically "baby"
I know its hard...but you have faith...it will happen!
You should put together a baby registry. You can always change things when things get more imminent, but you can start making your list of stuff to do, which, as you have told me, is very empowering.
Hi Wendi, I am not superstitious, but also have done almost no shopping & preparation: other than our OHGWQ. All NECESSARY baby items can be purchased at Target in an hour. I agree with Lori- make a list, even design the nursery on paper. ANTICIPATION is half the fun too!!
Wendi - Anonnie here. (still no court date yet - it's been 46 days since my referral trip return home... there were 72 days in between referral and court trips for a recent agency family using my orphanage and I'm hoping that that time span is ligit.)Anyway, I wanted to tell you that in the beginning, I bought VERY little. Once in a while I'd buy an article of clothing, or somehting dumb like a tube of Destin - and each time, I felt like I gained some control or power over this powerless situations. As a tribal tradition, I'm not into showers (I actually took all my girlfriends out for dinner to thank them for their tolerance of me - but told them "no gifts"). The couple months prior to the referral call, and then since then, I've been buying things more and more. Logistically, it's helpful and needed now. But emotionally, it's given me some power. Maybe you should indulge a bit and you may feel some power/control if you buy some things. I know you like books. I set up a registry on Amazon.com for my daughter, and began selecting wonderful books and stories for her for the future. I found it really theraputic. And, it's a nice way of building her library. Maybe you want to give that a chance... thinking of you - Your Anonnie.
gut ta nu, i LOVE Anonnie.
I wish I wouldn't have done as much as I did until after my court date with Payton. I did a lot, even had a shower. I know, not so Jewish of me:-) After I lost her, I put everything in the nursery and shut the door until I passed court with Pacey.
So, if I were to do it over again, I would hold off. You can still believe...you have to believe, you will be a Mommy!
love ya,
jocelyn
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