Haven't blogged in awhile, been busy. Doing o'k, but also going through the motions.
Attended an industry Xmas party yesterday. Last year at the same party I had told friends about the adoption and I had envisioned that this year I would be carrying Lia-Rose's photo around bragging about my baby. But, it was fast forward 12 months and pretty much the same situation. O'k, there is a difference-I've grown spiritually, shrunk in dress size, met incredible friends, formed my support group, have connected with adoption experts and specialists. Lia is even closer to me than ever in spirit.
Is it o'k, to love someone so much who doesn't even exist? I am a mother in a way I was not one year ago. We are going through the motions but certainly getting closer.
In one of those "drive you crazy" moments …I was speaking with a nice woman, who yes I know meant well, but gave you the old "well I know someone that adopted one chinese daughter and then got a call from her agency that the daughter's biological mother had another baby and wanted the girls to be raised as sisters. I'll get you the number of the agency." First of all, thank you, you meant well. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! Chinese babies are abandoned and all record of parent is lost. The above scenario is impossible. Oh well, you grin and bear it. This is all part of the process.
My hubby leaves for Aussie on Monday for a month. My friend Gary is staying here with me, not on purpose, it just worked at that way. As much as I'm totally o'k by my lonesome, it will be nice to have company. I have a few business trips coming up and then a trip to see friends in San Francisco and family in Vegas. This Holiday season is going quickly; let's get through it and into 2008….and stop just going through the motions!
5 comments:
I remember asking myself the same question, "how can you love someone so much that you don't even know"...I think you "know" them in your heart, you know it will happen...you just KNOW. You are right you are so much closer to Lia-Rose . . . I'm here for you :)
I ask myself that too - but like Joanne said - we do just know. I'm soooo excited for Susan!!
I am with you on the fact that 'is it possible to love someone so much that doesn't exist yet' (most likely)... I had a dream once about Shauna and she was talking to me and saying her 'Chinese' name but I couldn't understand it but heard her saying her English name... (middle name will be the Chinese one) and she kept on repeating October to me... whether it was me wishful thinking - I have no idea... but after that dream... I was more determined to not 'pull out' or anything like that... don't be 'afraid' to love your baby if she doesn't have a face yet... your hubby could have told me he was going home... I would have helped him with his luggage... I am heading back in Jan 08 and really looking forward to it... I am so homesick right now... take care.
I wish I could trade places with Gary. Oh and go to San Fran with you.
xoxoxox
Amen Sister! Sounds like the next month will fly by for you and we'll be into 2008 before you know it! Yay for your friend Susan, and soon it will be you, going to pick up baby Lia. I was at a family event last weekend and had all sorts of questions about my adoption too. It's a tough time of year to get thru. But we will all do it - together!
OLM (Julie)
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