New Year's Revolutions

....that's resolutions, but to Addie, they are revolutions. And, I kinda of like that. After all, the definition of a revolution is: A revolution (from the Latin revolutio, "a turnaround") is a significant change that usually occurs in a short period of time. How perfect. This goes without saying the kind of New Year's revolution I hope and pray for this upcoming year. A change, oh god, we are a community of people begging for a change. I pray deeply for us all to receive optimistic news. Change and miracles throughout this entire adoption community.

Yesterday, when we were with Susan and Alana Nika, well, it was almost surreal. For months I have been agonizing along with Susan, who went on a wild roller-coaster ride. It was one long continous paperchase....referrals that went sour, and a major hiccup after she had met and fell in love with this baby. Yet, here was this munchkin, having brunch with us in Manhattan. It really happened.

Last year at this time my friend Ann Marie was being tortured as well. The paper, the certifications, the interviews, the back and forth. But yet, here she sits, at the end of 2007 with the handsome and healthy baby Alexander. It really happened.

And my dear Stephanie. Who I fell in love with through the blog world. She waits, and waits, and began her concurrent adoption to bring home a brother for her Mei Mei. In the next few days she will have her court date. (YOU WILL) It really is happening.

There's Joanne and Mia, who went with her heart, and is now celebrating her first New Year's Eve with her daughter. It really happened.

Tonight we went through our "revolutions". Addie asked for Lia-Rose to come home.
Sydney hoped that Alana Nika would forget her past and have a happy future.

My mother gave me a special present this week. Engraved in stone, and sitting on an easel are these words "never ever ever give up". On this New Year's Eve, those are very fitting words, yes indeed.

A Happy and a healthy New Year!

"Life isn't bumper cars, Addie"

After a fantastic day in NYC, exploring the Xmas decorations, meeting the delish Alana Nika (more on this later), going to the Top of the Rock and "sitting in the clouds", heading into American Girl Store and having Addison join in unison screams with our friend Olivia, having chicken fingers, bagels, milk shakes and hot chocolate (not me, the girls) we got stuck in a two hour..yes I said, two hour traffic jam. That's two hours from about Fifty-Seventh Street to Fortieth Street out in the tunnel. Poor Sydney fell asleep and Addie kept me company..."bump those morons Aunt Wendi" "Beep your horn" "You can say bad words, it's o'k" "Hit those dumb people Aunt Wendi". O'k, perhaps not the nicest things for a 6 year old to say, but we were aggravated, and tired. Sydney woke up to these bold statements from Addie and proclaimed, in what I thought was a very deep commentary about life..."Life isn't bumper cars Addie!"

Hanging

Officially hanging with my girls...aka nieces, Sydney and Addie.
We got here at about 5pm...promptly snuggled in bed and watched High School Musical 2 and Hairspray. Had a picnic dinner in bed -Syd had pizza, Addie hated the Grilled Cheese sandwich I made her..."I never had this cheese before Aunt Wendi"...(it was swiss) and me, a Boca burger (80 calories of delish). Addie also told me that she can't wait for Lia to come ..."I am kinda of sick of all the attention Aunt Wendi". She also said that her mom reminds her of Tracey's Mom in Hairspray (John Travolta in drag) "except, my mom is not that fat and goes out more!"

Tooo cute...I love being a "mom"!!!!!!

Welcome Back

I am home. Arrived in Newark at 12:30am this morning. By the time my bags came and the drive home, it was nearly 2am. Don't worry mom, I slept (smile). I had a lovely time in Las Vegas. I am one of the few who goes there and doesn't gamble. O'k, I tried my luck at the slots and lost. Darn, I could have bought a pair of shoes with that money! I stayed at my Aunt and Uncle's beautiful house. It was a perfect retreat for me as they have a lovely private guest bedroom and bath. Felt like a comfy hotel room. I spent a lot of time with my Aunt Dorothy who is in her late 70's but honestly still acts and looks like she is in her early sixties. We ate, we talked, we shopped. I loved being with her. My Uncle is the Champ of the Poker Room and spent the days there, but hung out with us for great dinners at night. I love being with them. I ask them tons of questions about my grandparents and what my mother was like as a young girl. It's so interesting to me.

I also had a great time hanging with a dear childhood friend, Amy Starr...she is the bestest. I love being with her and she could in fact be one of the friends I have known the longest. We met when were were 4! Amy is beautiful and was the perfect hostess. We had a wonderful time just drinking a bottle of red wine and chatting away. It was truly relaxing. I can't wait to hang out agains soon.

Now back and in my own surroundings again, I am focused on eating right again. I enjoyed my vacation and relaxing about what goes in my mouth. I did manage to walk everyday that I was away, so hopefully that helped fend off any extra poundage.

Joe is having a ball in AU still. I told him tonite that I was ready for him to come home today. I really do miss him!

And tomorrow, my big New Year's Eve weekend begins....they say (and who by the way is "they") that you should spend your New Year's the way you want your year to be. Therefore I'll be celebrating with my nieces, Sydney and Addison. You see, I want my year filled with kids! ( We did invite Hayley, but apparently...well she is 14, enough said) I am so excited to have them all to myself. I'll be taking them into the city to see the sights, and meet the amazing and beautiful Alana Nika as well as some other friends. I am really happy to have their company this weekend!

I'm a little blue tonite. Only because I am missing my Lia-Rose. I know that sounds funny, to be missing someone that I haven't met yet, but, well, I think you know what I mean. I won't complain, I won't say what has already been said...remember, anything is possible, and I'll stick to that.

Just another number

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14


Months Logged In

Christmas ramblings from a Jew..and Miracles

As a Jewish person Christmas sort of has a different meaning. Being married to a non-Jew does mean there are certain Christmas customs that you now partake in. However, this year with Joe being away, I am all Jew again. Now, in Vegas with my Aunt and Uncle, we are truly just relaxing and enjoying a somewhat quiet morning. Last night we hit the casino....for the grand buffet. The place was loaded with kids and families, many by the way whom were Asian. It really didn't "feel" like Christmas Eve, but then again, what does Christmas Eve "feel" like?

As a kid, I remember Lori and I daydreaming that if we decorated the plastic plant in the living room maybe Santa would find us too. I also remember "hearing" Santa's sleigh pass our house and get very upset. As a young Adult, Christmas Eve meant one thing to all of us trendy and "urban" types....it was the annual "Matzah Ball", yes, I said the "Matzah Ball". This annual Christmas Eve tradition is held in big cities with lots of Jews...basically, it's singles looking to 'hook up' for the holidays. I'll never forget one year the very un-Jewish former ex Philadelphia Seventy Sixer Charles Barkely partied with us on Christmas Eve. Apparently (smile) he liked Jewish girls.

Today, as an adult, Christmas means something. It's a special day for my husband and his family and so many of my friends. It is time for all of us to exhale and enjoy family. It is a chance to ask G-d for a miracle.

Years ago I studied and read alot of Marianne Williamson's writings. She based much of her new age sprituality on something called "The Course in Miracles". This bible like book talks about love, and family and of course, Miracles. The simple definition of a miracle is this..."a shift in thought". Think how powerful that is...."a shift in thought". A dear friend of mine in this adoption community (who will reamin nameless) is I'm afraid in a very negative place. Negative in the sense that she is questioning whether or not this miracle of adoption will in fact ever really happen. Today, Christmas Day, I am praying for her to have a miracle. Quite simply, I want her to believe again. To shift her thought and believe again.

I will hope today that we all are touched by this miracle as well. We need to all believe again...to hold true to that belief and what a huge change can occur for us all. It will be our Christmas Miracle, even us Jews (smile)...may we have lots of these Christmas miracles today! xoxo

I left my heart...

In San Francisco! What a great city! Gorgeous views, interesting streets, great food (which unfortunetly I am enjoying a bit to much), nice nice people and the new home for my little K-Jo. Having a ball. Spent the yesterday and today in Napa and then hiked through the Redwood Forest. Friday afternoon spent with my friend Leah and her son Kenson and family at the Chinese/American School. Visited Chinatown and literally felt like I was in China. I Am hobbling and limping around because I overdid a walk on Friday morning....if you haven't walked the streets of San Francisco, you won't understand...but it is really really steep. I am truly in pain. But the fine wines of and great foods of Napa sure know how to cure any aches and pains. Oh, plus ths San Francisco Farmer's Market...awesome... Kristen and I had a great time. Aside from fighting a few times a day...totally like my sister she is... She is my little darling and I'm beyond proud of her...this town is fantastic and I'm so glad that Kristen has the chance to live and grow here...
thank you for an amazing time! Check out the pics...here and Kristen's side of the story at Kristen's blog

Happy Holidays and a breaking news bulletin

I had written the post below last nite, when I happily unplugged myself from cyber space. Of course, I still had my blackberry and thank god for that...my Rumor Princess herself, my BFF Daniella was stalking the internet late last night and this morning I found an an email from her ...to me and Audrey! We are OUT OF REVIEW!!!!!!!!

IT'S TRUE! The China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) my fairy god mother, lists the following : The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before October 31, 2006.

Someone in China read our Dossier. She or he read about how crazy I am ....to be a mother....she read how nuts Joe and I are about Lia-Rose. She read the story that my neice Sydney had written for me about Lia-Rose. Someone in China knows that Wendi, Joe, Adam, Annie, Joyce, Aaron, Lori, Gregg, Hayley, Sydney and Addison are anxiously awaiting our baby girl. Someone in China said, it's o'k...this woman is o'k to be a mommoy!!!!

Now does this make the wait any shorter...unfortuently NO. But, this was the last stop before the matcher....ok, o'k, ok! I'm excited. And to god...thank you. I prayed I needed a little pick me up...this sure did it!!!! Thank you CCAA!!!!

Now back to our originally slated blog post....

Hi my dear friends in blog land, I am taking this time to wish you all a happy and a healthy New Year. I am right now on a business trip but coming home tomorrow to wash my clothes and pack up my bags.

 

While my husband celebrates with family across the world, I treated myself to a little getaway. Thursday through Sunday I'll be in San Francisco.
I'll be hanging with my little friend Kristen Jo. Our plans include a trip to Napa Valley over the weekend, which I'm really excited about. For some reason I imagine a Sideways weekend, minus picking up strangers. We also have a few hikes planned. I'm meeting up with another dear friend Leah (yes, here name is Leah) who is seven months pregnant. I'll be meeting her gorgeous son Kenson who is four. On Friday nite we are going to the Christmas pagent at the English/Chinese school that her son attends. Her son's father is half black/half Chinese, and they make sure her son understands his Chinese ancestry. Leah figured I'd enjoy a nite out at this school…and she is right, I can't wait.

 

On Christmas Eve, I take off and fly over to Las Vegas, where every good Jew celebrates Christmas. I'll be sitting around the poker
table Christmas Tree with my Aunt and Uncle Dorothy and Mike. I'm back in NJ late on the 27^th…*yes our 14 month lid…whoopie! I say sarcastically.

 

So, I am busy and just want to make sure you know how much I love you and all, and wish you only happiness this holiday season. I am going to try to post, but just in case I don't…HAPPY HOLIDAYS….ENJOY AND BE SAFE.

 

And, Susan is returning home with Alana Nikka! I am overjoyed for her.

 

xoxo

Sunday in bed

I am cold and tired. All in a good way. I am taking advantage of cancelled plans and freezing rain and staying in bed. With computer on my lap I type away, do work, browse the web, watch missed episodes of Ugly Betty (ABC streaming is very cool), check into everyone's blogs and am tempted to have a glass of wine. I need this day.


It feels like it has been a long year...and it has. A year filled with waiting, and waiting and can I say waiting again. I will say no more, but yesterday while waiting in line to checkout at a store....the line was wrapped around four times before you got to the cash registers...
I imagined the line to be the line we are in waiting for our referrals. I patiently and slowly moved. Along the way, I stopped, and talked to those in line with me. We commiserated, we were aggravated. In the first aisle I was optimistic and filled with hope that the line would move quickly. As I wrapped around the second aisle, I got angry and frustrated. When I hit the third aisle, I almost gave up, but was nudged by the lady in front of me ..to stick with it, I was almost there. I finally made it to the counter. Checked out quickly and then made my way into the rest of my day. The wait behind me, I felt happy and satisfied that my time waiting was well worth it.

AMEN

The cutest little munchkin in the world has FINALLY been matched with the most beautiful, sweetest and special mommy in the world! (I had to post her picture S, I hope you don't mind...I'm going to eat her up when I meet her!)

Sleepy and tired

For so many reasons, this week is a very busy and hectic one. Not to mention , I have a huge box of presents that need to be packed up and mailed to Aussie this weekend. I am a tad bit stressed. I heard from my hubby, he is happily settled in Australia. He is staying at his best friend's house in the South of Perth, which is one of the nicest neighborhoods in the world. Note to Joe-One day when we have our Australia home, this is the not a bad neighborhood to consider.-As soon as he arrived home in Aussie, he headed over to see the kids. Apparently, Annie is now taller then him, and as beautiful as ever. Adam was doing great, and this month officially becomes a "certified working man". I can't believe how quickly time flies. He was just 16 when I first came into his life. Poor Susan, she is still having adoption blues in Russia. The good news is she is with her daughter, well, some of the time,, her poor little munchkin is in the hospital, getting better but stuck there. Susan revisits the courthouse tomorrow, hopefully with the final adoption decree. Fingers crossed my dear friend.

And now, only because I feel like sharing a cute tale, I will completely steal something from my sister. Heck my shish, u didn't blog about this yourself, so that gives me the opening…My sister was at the synagogue meeting with the rabbi, or the cantor, but for purposes of this tale, we will call it the rabbi, she had the girls with her as it was a bat mitzvah meeting. Addie was with them, of course, and quietly sat coloring while the others were chatting away. Suddenly, the rabbi looked down at what Addie was drawing. He looked up at Lori and said….hmmm, interesting (o'k not sure exactly what he said, but that sounds good ) Lori looked down at Addie's drawing and just sighed….u see my dear niece Addie, the cutest six and half year old girl in the world, was happily drawing a picture of a Christmas Tree….in the rabbi's office!!! J

 

 

I love this

This is a picture from last week, when me and new mama Stephanie had our blind date. I love this girl. (That's me on the right :) )

Sending out some love

I can blog about a million things right now the way I'm feeling. I'll start with this one, the fact that I just left Newark Airport hysterically crying. Like a bad movie when the girlfriend says farewell to her man. Yep, that was me. My husband is on his way to Australia, and the worst part of the trip is the next two days. I can't phone or email him. I hate the feeling so much. Like you need the person so badly and you can't get to them. I hope my husband knows how much I really really love him. There were a few moments in the last twenty four that maybe we weren't the nicest to one another, it happens, but at the end of the day, he is all that matters to me. I love you Joey and you have the safest bestest trip. You are my husband, my love and the father of MY daughter. Enjoy MY stepchildren and have fun catching up with your friends and family. I love love love love love you. And call me as soon as you can.

 

The other thing on my mind is my dear friend Susan. Some stupid hiccups in her adoption process have left her upset all the way across the world. Her munchkin is so close to being hers, yet, still …. Why is this process so damn hard. Why is it that we, those of us in the adoption community, are constantly faced with craziness? Why can't it be simple!! Are the best things in life the hardest, most definitely I suppose? But come on…poor Susan, give the girl a break...pretty please. Susan, if you happen t read this, you are definitely not alone..this will all work out…hold tight. You are very very close. We love you!

Susan is in Russia!!! Follow along and send her good vibes...she meets the judge tomorrow!

The motions

Haven't blogged in awhile, been busy. Doing o'k, but also going through the motions.

Attended an industry Xmas party yesterday. Last year at the same party I had told friends about the adoption and I had envisioned that this year I would be carrying Lia-Rose's photo around bragging about my baby. But, it was fast forward 12 months and pretty much the same situation. O'k, there is a difference-I've grown spiritually, shrunk in dress size, met incredible friends, formed my support group, have connected with adoption experts and specialists. Lia is even closer to me than ever in spirit.

Is it o'k, to love someone so much who doesn't even exist? I am a mother in a way I was not one year ago. We are going through the motions but certainly getting closer.

 

In one of those "drive you crazy" moments …I was speaking with a nice woman, who yes I know meant well, but gave you the old "well I know someone that adopted one chinese daughter and then got a call from her agency that the daughter's biological mother had another baby and wanted the girls to be raised as sisters. I'll get you the number of the agency." First of all, thank you, you meant well. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! Chinese babies are abandoned and all record of parent is lost. The above scenario is impossible. Oh well, you grin and bear it. This is all part of the process.

 

My hubby leaves for Aussie on Monday for a month. My friend Gary is staying here with me, not on purpose, it just worked at that way. As much as I'm totally o'k by my lonesome, it will be nice to have company. I have a few business trips coming up and then a trip to see friends in San Francisco and family in Vegas. This Holiday season is going quickly; let's get through it and into 2008….and stop just going through the motions!

Hanukah

To my fellow Jewish friends….a happy and a healthy Hanukah! For each night we light a candle, let's say a little prayer for our children all over the world….whether here in the States, in Australia, China, Russia or Ethiopia…we wish you the joy of this special holiday.

 

"Oh Hanukah Oh Hanukah come light the menorah…."

A warm night on a very cold day

I had the pleasure last night to meet live and in person my dear friend Stephanie. A complete angel. We have been following each other's blogs for some time now and when we met, it felt like we knew each other forever. It was really cool to learn that we had a lot in common. Truly…a lot. As many of you know, the adoption journey is a very unusual experience. There are moments of true excitement, followed by tears and fears. You rebound on some days with great talk about your baby, and then the next you want to bury your head in the sand. I cannot say enough how important these new relationships mean to me. The friendship of every single one of you who comes to this blog. I feel closer to some of you, my dear friends, then I do with friends who I am bonded with simply by years of knowing one another. Stephanie, it was my pleasure meeting you last night. I am super excited for you to journey to your Samuel. xoxo

no idea what to title this

This is just one of those poasts that I am not sure what to title or where I am going with this. Last night was so much fun, and exactly what I needed. We went to fellow waiting family-Chris and Tim's home for dinner with them and other waiters-Paul and Denise and Erin and Michael. It is amazing to be in a room filled with people who you don't have to explain anything. They understand. I was taking about the fact that hitting the year mark has been hard for me. Suddenly my upbeat and positive attitude has hit rock bottom. Paul agreed and said they had gone thru the same thing at about that point as well. Keep in mind he and his wife have been waiting 22 months, almost 23. He told me you get to a point where you accept again...and exhale and just let it all unfold. There is not a thing u can do. The evening was fun and I had two glasses of wine, which really helped. Tonight little Miss Stephanie and I meet and I can not wait! I am sending early good wishes to Susan, who heads off to Russia on Wednesday!!! Toooo great! That is all for now. Smile Audrey! And Daniella ...get your tiny butt up here!

Can't explain it

The mood I'm in is very, well, I just can't explain it. I'll leave it at that.

We had our updated Home Study meeting this morning. I of course, was nervous. But, it was totally cool. The Social Worker sat with us about an hour and a half and besides just general "yentaing" we had a really great discussion about the Waiting Children's program. She has two daughters from China. One was a SN adoption (that's Special Needs)-a six year old-doll. Both girls are doing fine. It was a very enlighting conversation.

I still feel numb for some reason. I can't pin point it. But, I'm ready to just move forward, and am asking the Universe...to do your stuff!

On a positive note, tomorrow we are getting together with a bunch of Jersey Waiting Families over at our friends' Tim and Chris' home. And then on Monday ...I will have a great big treat when one of my favorite blogger/and now girlfriend Stephanie....the new MOMMY comes to town.

And finally, tonite I babysat my friends' daughter-Nyla. An eighteen month year old! We had the best time. She called Joe DaDa at one point and my dog Molly, Mol Mol.
I gave her two little books I had bought for Lia-Rose and she loved them, so I let her keep 'em. I read her a story about a Mommy adopting her Chinese baby, and she read it back to me and said...that's "Nyla's baby". It was sooo cute. And quite franky, just what the doctor ordered.