The matches

Yeah, more referrals were made today! The referrals were for families logged in August 26, 2005 thru September 8, 2005. As you can see that is about 15 months. For those outside of adoption community, in the past, the matches would cover an entire month, say all of September. For the last year or so, it's been these partial matches, thus the slow down. There seems to be matches on average of every 29 days...sometimes less, sometimes more. We have to hope that there is a bit of pick up over the next few months. This morning I was very angry when I saw the small group that was matched. There had been rumor that all of September would go, but not the case this time around. I started feeling incredibly sorry for myself. Here I am a 45 year old (young) woman, trying to become a mommy for the longest time....and "it's just my luck" that the referrals are just dragging on...oh poor Wendi...boo hoo hoo. I was angry, frustrated, mad at the entire world. Then suddenly, like someone smacked me from above, I realized, Wendi this is so not about you. It's about the babies in the orphanages all over China. The little lost souls, waiting to be found by their forever family. As sad as it is for me, with this long wait, it's sadder for these children. Suddenly my anger and frustration disappeared, my sadness remained, but a peacefulness overcame me as I realized that Joe and I are doing something to make a difference in someone's life. It is not at all easy this wait. In fact, it's so unbelivably hard for me. It's absolutely a roller coaster ride. But, my god, at the end of this long ride, I keep the faith that the most amazing and miraculous blessing will come into our life. Our entire family will be so blessed.