Happy Weekend

Happy weekend! I also have to shout out loud, I made it to the gym two times this week! Which might not seem that much, but it's been a few weeks or shall I say months since I have gone...with Joe's surgery, my stepkids here...yada yada, u know the deal! I can feel the pudginess in my thighs and tummy, and I hate it!!! So, it's back to the gym!!! Yeah, and I feel great....my goal is to start out slow, at least three times a week!

That's my plan.

I am heading down to Philly this weekend. Not only is it my sister's birthday celebration, but I am meeting up with one of my new adoption friends. We met through business associates, and it turns out our LIDs are two days apart! She has two Chinese daughters, and I am so excited to meet them! I am bringing my niece Addie along. She's the same age as the girls, so that should be fun. My mom may join us as well. Anyway, I better hit the sack, it's been a long week at work, and I am pretty tired!!! Happy weekend!!!!

Slowly but surely moving along

Yeah!!!!

REFERRALS REFERRALS

Yeah, the next batch of referrals came into today! They matched up until 10/13/05, or at least thats what I am hearing! As you know, Joe and I are logged in 10/27/06, so you can see how long this could be...but, CONGRATS TO THE NEW MOMS AND DADS!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST SISTER A SISTER CAN HAVE

Song to the tune of my favorite things.....(probably only Lori and my mom will get this one ;) )

Lori Jill C....K dear daughter of Aaron

New Jersey mother and stuffed bear baron

Sister of Wendi and daughter of Joyce

Heidi S......z surely made you her choice

Three lovely ladies you raise in your house

One handsome husband who is surely no louse

This song's been song over 30 years

Oh my god Lori your laughing thru tears

It's pretty crazy and so hazy how these years flew by

One minute we're 18 now Hay Syd are tweens

At least Addie's still wetting her pants!!!

Happy Birthday my beautiful and most loving and special sister! Your are truly the best friend anyone can have and I love you with all my heart for all you have done for me. You are going to be the best Aunt ever to your niece Lia Rose!

(Just so everyone gets the joke, when I was 13 and Bat Mitzvahed a wonderful man named Robert H wrote a song to celebrate my Bat Mitzvah. It was to the tune of "My Favorite things." Now on every special occasion...including my wedding, wedding shower and 40th birthday, a song is written by my sister to me ....the above is my weak attempt at doing it for her. By the way, Hayley and Sydney-wait to you see what we sing to you at your Bat Mitzvah!)

What to expect

http://http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-Toddler-Years/dp/0684816776/sr=8-3/qid=1170298010/ref=sr_1_3/104-1357849-5402321?ie=UTF8&s=books

I realized that through this whole adoption story that I am wrapped up in, there is one thing I haven't spent much time thinking about. I have researched, read, searched the web, networked with others and pulled my hair out about everything having to do with adoption and with adopting Chinese babies in particular. One of the things I haven't really spent much time doing or really focusing on is the fact that I have no idea of what the heck to do when this little person enters my life. Thankfully my husband, sister, mother, father and several very close friends have been there done there when it comes to parenting a baby/toddler...me however, nothing! I know that my stepdaughter and nieces will surely have words of advice for me, but quite frankly, they have never raised a toddler, just have been one more recently then me. Anyway, I decided to get smart about this, and considering I have another year or so to wait, I bought the above book today. It's over 800 pages and I learned tonite that it's o'k for toddlers to toddle and fall!!!! Happy reading to me!

Somewhere

Somewhere in China there sits a woman, I imagine her being pregnant. Her belly filling up with love and baby. She feels the little flutter of her baby as she moves inside of her. She sees movement when she lies down at nite. Does she have cravings? Does she get tired ? Is she scared about what the future of this baby inside of her will be? Somewhere in China is a woman who has my daughter inside of her. Does she know how grateful I am to her? Does she know that because of her love for her daughter, my dreams of being a mommy will come true? Does she cry at nite? Does she moan for the loss of this baby that she knows will inevitably happen as soon as she gives birth? Does she know how much I love her?

Can't sleep

I can't sleep, so I am blogging....again...a second post in one day. This one will have absolutely nothing to do with adoption...I thought I'd ask the blog world for help, and in doing so totally embarrass by wonderful sister, the lovely and hysterically funny...my daughter to be's...Aunt Lori....my beautiful, and I mean that, younger sister is turning 43 on February 1st. I have no idea what to get her....so I thought I'd ask??? Any suggestions??? Let me know!!!! And I know some of her friends are reading this...so your ideas are especially welcome!!!!

Various stuff....

It's the end of another month, and the rumors are running rampant about new referrals. Remember, we are still matching people with Log In's from '05...so we have a ways to go before we are into the '06 batch. Everyday people ask me "when is the baby coming"...I keep trying to explain, "I really don't know"....it's just truly a waiting game right now. Picture a big big pile of files and we are at the very bottom of it....one day soon to be at the top. Every month we wait for a speed up in referrals, and every month, at least since I have been really paying attention, there hasn't been one. I can't wait to be able to post..."Speed Up...finally." Next week I may attend a seminar with Rose, one of the lovely ladies in my Dossier Group. There are actually three of us, three couples that is, who's Dossier's all went to China on the same day. It's so incredible that the three of us have the a similar situation...we are all older couples, first time moms and live within in 60 minutes (or so) of each other. We email often but have yet to meet. Hopefully next week Rose and I can hook up. The Seminar is being sponsored by the Asia Society and it will address the future of the Chinese adoption program. In March I am attending another all day seminar with my adoption pal Ann Marie (http://comeundone.typepad.com/) The seminar is all about International Adoption issues, from attachment to health issues. It should be very enlighting. Anyway, my days are so busy lately with work that I have limited time to worry about how long this is taking....a blessing in a small way, probably a big way.
And I do have confirmation...my Annie is back in Aussie doing what she does best, shopping! I am so proud of my stepdaughter...she certainly knows her way around a mall!!!

Alone again

Between Joe's hip surgery in November and then having my stepchildren here, my house was filled with activity and people! With Joe at work this morning, and all day yesterday, it's the first time in a long long time, that I've been completely alone. Well, Molly my dog is with me, but I mean with other humans. I, unlike many, have had many many times in my life where I was alone. I married "later in life" and spent many a weekend in my little walk-up apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan completely by myself. In fact, years ago, with no computer to play on, I have no idea what I used to do. I think I must have watched alot of television! This morning I actually took an hour long walk. I really needed it. I love to get my exercise, and I have to admit, I've been really bad at making sure I do. One of the commmittments I am truly making to myself over the next few months, is to really get back into that part of my life. I realized my birthday is just around the corner in April, and it's the biggest number I've had to face yet. In fact, I'm going to be closer to the big 50 then the big 40! It goes fast. Knowing that I am going to be a mother is making me not feel "that" old, so it's even more important to get this body in great shape! I am hoping by spring Joe will be ready to take some long walks with me too....not only for exercise, but to actually spend time together. Isn't it crazy that married couples are so busy working and taking care of "stuff" that it's hard just to actually be together.

Before the kids came, I put away all of Lia's stuff into a drawer. Not that I have that much stuff, but what I do was put away. I didn't want to have it in their faces -this news is just brand new to them and I want to give them time. Anyway, now that Annie has gone back home, I pulled Lia's stuff back out. I hung the few items that I have up in the closet. It makes me feel good to just look at it, and remember, that this adoption is real.

And, most importantly, Annie is home, safe and sound! Apparently out shopping already!!! That's my girl!

3

Yes it's true, today marks exactly three months since log in! Once again, I am not going to focus on how many more months ahead of us...first off, I have no idea, and secondly I made a blog promise to the cyber world that I would not complain and focus on that! But, it is cool to see time moving ahead and the clock tick away the minutes....my step-daughter Annie should be home by now, and I'm hoping we get some sort of email or call to let us know she is o'k. I already miss that kid, and the house is strangely quiet since she has gone. I was at the Bagel Buffet today and I really missed having my side-kick have her Bagel with Bacon and egg sandwich. What I won't miss is the daily french fries aka chips that she ordered that I tended to sneak one or two. This isn't the way I like to eat....but it sure was good. I love you Annie as big as the world!!!! In other news, I had lunch this week with a client of the radio station where I work, Mel, who is Chinese. We went to this delicious Chinese restaurant called Chin Chin. Probably the best chinese food I have ever had. Mel was awesome as she spent a good hour and a half really given me some interesting information about Chinese history and customs. I have made a promise to myself and to Lia to learn as much as I can about her culture, so I can share with her as she grows up. She will always be Chinese first and foremost, and I intend to celebrate that with her! My Aunt Helen is still very ill....she continues to be in my prayers. Anyway , that is my update for today....time to do the wash!!!!

Thank you Heather

How cool is my new design???? The lovely Heather (diggingaholetochina.blogspot.com) "pimped" this up for me!!!!! I love love love it!!!!! Thank you Heather!!!!

My first daughter

Annie just left....just walked out the door to catch her plane back to

Aussie. It's 6am and we are sad but , how lucky am I to have the greatest stepdaughter in the world. Not only really beautiful, but sweet and special. I pray for to get home safely back to Australia...and I can't wait to hold her again!!!!

From the top of the Mountains

We went to Vermont this weekend. Joe had promised Annie she would see snow! And boy did she....it was so utterly breathtaking up there. Cold beyond words for a skinny gal from Australia. But she had a ball playing in the snow, and even getting a ride on a snow mobile! Not sure she appreciated the beauty as much as we did, but the view of Vermont from the top of Stratton Mountain (yes, we went up, and came down on the ski lift! No we don't ski)it was incredible. I felt like I was in the North Pole.
We stayed in a lovely motel outside of the mountain called Manchester. I saw the stars really shine there. At one point, I got really dizzy and light headed while looking at them. A feeling came over me I can't explain it. I will mark this down now, but I think Lia may have been born this weekend or maybe conceived. I know it sounds nuts, but I do cling onto this hope that I can have this deep connection with her. A mom can hope....

4 Little Daughters

Although I am not officially a mommy, I do have to say that I have actually four daughters already. Daughters who I want only the best for, who I love unconditionally. Little women who make my heart swell when I think of them, and who I believe think the world of me. I list them in alphabetical order with a few words besides their name to describe what think of when I think of them....
Addison( my niece)-Adorable, lovable, huggable, delicious, hysterically funny, a little "yenta", a dream come true
Annie (my stepdaughter)-Beautiful, outstanding, sweet, respectful, responsible, a step mothers oldest daughter, great friend, a love
Hayley(my niece)-Adventuresome, outgoing, beautiful, fearless, demanding, brilliant, my first love, my buddy
Sydney(my niece)-Sweet, delicious, a little version of my sister, sensitive, cutting, observant, tells it like it is, beautiful, the best snuggler in the world.....the love of my life
I am so lucky and blessed to have my daughters....Lia will be the fifth and be so lucky to have her older sisters!

Ramblings of a tired woman

It's been a busy few days, and I haven't been blogging.....first off, my aunt is still not well....so, that has been weighing on my mind. I don't know how to put into words what I am feeling. I don't want to offend anyone in my life. But this is my blog, and it's a place that I come to share my feelings and my thoughts. You see, one day, my daughter can read this and learn a little about me. What I was thinking and feeling in the months leading up to her birth. If I come off emotional at times, it's really o'k. This is a safe place where I choose to do so. The people that are reading this are in two groups....1. My friends and family who love me 2. Other Waiting families and adoptive parents who are going thru similar experiences. Having the comfort of those going thru similar experiences is something I can't put a price on. It's invaluable to me. The way I share with my new friends in the "adoption" word is so healthy and truly priceless.
Going thru this "pregnancy" is very much like a biological pregnancy. There are obvious difference, mainly weight gain and an exact number of weeks till baby day....but the emotions and the excitement is the same. Whether it's 9 months or 18 months....knowing your going to be a mother. Imagining what your child will be like. Comparing notes with other "expectant" moms...it's all the same. My sister Lori said it best, no one really understands either way! And she is so very right.

My Aunt Helen

My Aunt Helen is my father's sister. She is very very ill tonite. We aren't sure if she is going to make it and I feel, of course, very sad about it. In the last few years I really tried to reconnect with her. I knew she was up there in age, and I wanted to have some special memories of her. I am so glad that we shared those phone conversations and emails. She really opened up to me in a way that many her age have not. Aunt Helen was so excited when I got married. She herself had recently remarried and she compared the love she has with her husband George with the love that "Joseph" (as she called him) and I share. Aunt Helen was one of the first people I shared my news about the adoption of Lia Rose. She was over the top happy for me, and said so many many times. In fact, and she was dead serious, she told me how she discussed with her husband that she, too, would like to adopt a daughter from China. I gently tried to explain to her that at 80 years plus, that might not be that easy, but it was a wonderful and generous thought. Aunt Helen shared with me that she had a lot of sadness when she was growing up but had found such happiness in her life in her later years. Every email and phone conversation ended with a G-d bless you Wendi. Tonite, I ask G-d, please bless my Aunt Helen.

The Mols

When you are a childless woman, you find that treat your dog like your child! These are some pictures of the very cute and very spoiled Molly! We adore this doggie...a Tibetan terrier that we "adopted" from an Animal Shelter in Manhattan almost four years ago. She is the snuggliest, cutest, most loving dog I have ever met. I had two other doggies before her, Amber and Casey. I lived with the two of them in my fourth floor walk up in NYC. They had been left homeless because there owner had died, and I rescued them. They were both over seven years old, and I had them with me for about four years until they both passed away. Probably was crazy for a single working woman in Manhattan (at the time) to have two doggies so old...but, I thought it was the right thing to do at the time.....After Joe and I were engaged, and he was here living with me, we decided to get a dog...and lucky us, we found "The Mols"...my Molly!!!! Now, my sister Lori tells me that after Lia is with us we won't find Molly at all that cute anymore! I just don't buy into that (smile!).

Wow....profound words from my niece Addie

The latest entry on my five year old almost six year old niece's Addie's blog-pretty awesome....

I slept so much Lia came out of Aunt Wendi's belly :). That was totally wierd. I was so happy. It was a Chinese baby that came out of her real mommy's belly in China. China is far far away. And people don't talk like in our language. She should take her to a Chinese restaurant so she can know what Chinese things are like. If you have a Chinese baby that you adopted, you must care and love your baby, just like if it came out of your belly. It's hard to believe that so many people had girls instead of boys. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad. Whether or not you don't have to have one or you can!The moms get kind of sad, they cry, because they miss their babies. They never see them grown up they only see them when they come out of the moms belly. That's the only day. You must not let your baby have candy. They will choke and get very sick. It's hard to be a mother, when you have a baby.The end.

What's up

I felt like I haven' t written lately....been busy and tired. I love having Annie here! Right now, Joe and Annie are cuddled up on the couch talking. They have a wonderful relationship. Annie is just the sweetest. The only problem is she won't let me kiss her. (smile) She came to work with me last week, and did a terrific job. I had her do a big mailing for me. She is coming tomororow as well, to finish that mailing. Last weekend we had dinner with my friend Alice and her 4 year old Olivia. Olivia kept asking me how I was having a baby if the baby wasn't in my tummy. I explained to her that my baby was in my heart, and she was being born in China to another mommy. Then I was going to bring her home to us to be her Forever Mommy. On Sunday nite, Annie and I went to see TARZAN on Broadway. (Great show). We were joined by my friend Marcia and her 5 year old Chinese daughter Catarina. (They are in the process of adopting #2) I'll post photos soon...but it was so special to see Annie and her together. Catarina adored Annie. I kept imagining what the future will look like. This weekend I'm going to meet one of my adoption friends Christine and her daughters (adopted from China). She is in the process of adopting #3. All these great great women....it's just wonderful to have all of this great support and company! So besides having cravings tonite for Chinese food and chocolate.....I'm doing o'k...having Annie with us certainly is keeping me busy. I think I learned one of my first lessons in mommy-hood last nite. I was really tired, and I just wanted to come home from work, get a glass of wine and get in bed. Annie wanted to cuddle and watch television with me.....it would have been easy to say, good nite....but I remembered, " Wendi you are the mom"...so I hung out with her , and went to sleep a bit later. It was wonderful and this is what it's all about!!!! If you are reading and haven't commented, please do...I love to know who is checking us out....even though sometimes I feel that this is a bit self-serving, and some in my family can't believe how open I am ...it is a wonderful escape for me. And I love the fact that I can share like this...and that so many are keeping us in their thoughts. The bottom line is that in 15 years, I want Lia to read this blog and see how she was so loved and cared about even before she was in my arms.

CNN thoughts, what are yours?

I did not see Friday's show until last nite. ( I had read transcripts) They were very smug that nite. I got the impression they thought they were trying to be humorous. It was terrible.I do give credit to CNN for re-addressing the issue last nite and admitting publically that they had received numerous(thousands) of complaints. I felt that David from FCC was good...I would have liked to see him debate the panelists, especially Roland, who I felt to be incredibly arrogant....he just angers me. Anyway, the reality is, not all people understand what we are doing. I remember telling some business friends about our adoption, and they started joking that I was trying to be like Angelina Jolie. Why wasn't I getting my African child? Not everyone is nice. Not everyone is open minded to different kinds of families. Not everyone sees things the way that I do. That is the big lesson I am learning through this. I can critize CNN all I want. But that won't change the fact that there are millions of people out there, with millions of opinions and ideas of what is right for them. At this point I am going to do my best to protect my family from attacks, and work towards hopefully opening the minds of those that don't understand.

Note to me from CNN

Thanks very much for your email concerning the segment “China Tightens Foreign Adoption Regulations” that aired on Paula Zahn Now on Friday, January 5th. We value your feedback and want to make sure you have the information about our upcoming continued reports on this subject.
Tonight’s Paula Zahn NOW will again address the new rules for foreign adoptions of Chinese children. The coverage will include a new report by CNN’s John Vause in Beijing , China . Paula will be joined by a number of guests to discuss the issue, including David Youtz, President of the Greater NY Chapter of “Families With Children From China”, and Ginny Gong, President of the “Organization of Chinese Americans”.
Again, thank you for taking the time to express your opinion, and please tune in for this follow up report.
Regards,
CNN Public Information

CNN

I can't get into it now because I have a headache, but CNN jsut proved to me tonite how filthy journalism can be. I am so disappointed and will never watch them again. The had a discussion tonite on Paula Zahn about the Chinese rule changes..it ended up being a discussion about why people adopt from China. A discussion including a panel of "experts" who had no idea what they were talking about. Not one was an adoptive parent. In a nutshell, they made us out to be racists for not adopting domestic African American children and claim that the only reason we adopt chinese children are because they are pretty and smart! I am so angry you have no idea. I am going to sleep now. My head is throbbing. How dare them!

An off topic moment

Women with PMS demonstrate better memory skills
Posted: Dec 31st 2006 7:15AM Filed y under: Women's Health
There's always a silver lining, right? Women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome rarely have anything good to say about it, but now it appears that there may be a benefit to having the disorder -- better memory and increased awareness. ....now that explains it!!!!

POPular

O'k, I look horrible in this...truly, and my mother will wonder what posting this has to do with the adoption of Lia...but it's a moment in time, and a funny moment that I want to share with all my Blogmates and with my daughter one day in the future...thanks to my sister for the wonderful editing...at least I can kinda of carry a tune...but the bags under my eyes..oy vey! Enjoy!!!

Referral day

CCAA matched up until 9/27/05..not 06..enough said...but the great news is my friend Frances from England got her referral...a beautiful little girl, she is 17 months year from Hunan. She is naming her Zoe and she is beautiful....congrats!!!! I am so excited for you...tonite, Joe, Annie, and I exchanged red bracelets...these are red threads that we will keep on our wrists until Lia comes...well hopefull they will last that long. ...it's our connection! We are all so excited.... Annie was a mother's helper today to Nyla..my friends' daughter. She is so great with babies...I can not wait until she is playing with our Lia Rose...her Mei Mei.

Stork Alert

Looks like the next batch of referrals are coming in! These start from September 9, 2005 thru ??? And that is the big question...hopefully they can get thru all of September. My friend Frances who I have been chatting with online is getting hers!!!! I am so excited for her !!! Good luck to all!!!!

An Early Happy 2007

Just waiting for my sister Lori and family to join us for the New Year's celebration. We have big plans for the kids....months ago my mother and I bought all of us tickets to see Wicked on Broadway! My nieces are obsessed with the music and they are super psyched to see the show. I am also thrilled to introduce my stepdaughter to the wonder of Broadway. We are going tommorow to the matinee, so on the way out we will get a glimpse of the craziness of Times Square. What a year this has been for me! Truly remarkable. Honestly, a year at this time, I had no idea that I'd be blogging about the upcoming adoption of my baby girl. It really is pretty incredible. One of the big reasons we made the decision to adopt came from a conversation I was having with my coach Cindy. We were talking about life choices, and my decision to possibly accept the fact that I wouldn't have a child. She posed the following question to me: "Wendi, what are you more afraid of ....having a child? or NOT having a child. The answer took me probably 1 second...it was so clear to me....not having a child was far more frightening. Once I really accepted the fact that I desired motherhood (I kept making excuses) more then anything in the world....it was very easy for us to make the decision that this adoption from China was the way to bring our child to us. Thank god for that simple, most profound question. It was a major wake up call that I needed this year. I wish for us all, a Happy and a very Healthy 2007. Whether our babies come this year or not, we can count on the fact that as each day passes, we are one day closer to having our dreams come true!!!!!

Cute girl singing

O'k...I've been meaning to post this for the longest time...my Cyber bud Mary Beth beat me to it :). How cute is this little girl....?

Interesting

This is a very interesting interview to listen to.....http://www.wnyc.org/shows/bl/episodes/2006/12/28

Better

LOL, my sister says that she loves my blog because it's becoming like a soap opera! Ha ha! This soap opera is my life, and I'm just documenting what's going on.....anyway, I do want to let you know that all is o'k with my stepson. I got a very heartfelt, sincere apology and we kissed and made up! I think we both needed the space, and my husband made sure that his son was responsible for his own actions. I feel much better. And, I know Adam does as well....in just a few, we are going ice skating...all of us....so hopefully he will enjoy this day!

The good and the bad

Sometimes situations aren't always perfect. You wonder here in the Blogosphere, where your life is an open book, how much do u share? What do u leave out? Tonite, I share with you that I had a difficult time with my stepson.....he was in a mood, and basically let it out on me. I felt so hurt that I asked my husband for the nite off....which he gave me. I cried. I cried deeply. Not only about the circumstance between Adam and I (which had nothing to do with Lia for those of you wondering), but I cried deeply for the fact that you try so hard to love someone and do right ,and sometimes, right isn't always the right way for someone. And I cried for Lia. My baby...who I needed so much tonite. That feeling of unconditional love. The feeling of total forgiveness...I wanted it as mother from my child. It was not to be had tonite.....and I ache for her so very much. the situation between Adam and I will pass....he is a growing up, and misses his dad, and is just going thru that stage of thinking he is a man, but is not quite there yet. I prayed for him to find some peace tonite. For forgiveness and for happiness.

Do u see ours?

This is a picture of dossiers at the CCAA in China! Pretty freaky to think we are one of those files and that Lia Rose is in another!

2 Months since log in

Today marks exactly two months since log in. Despite the ups and downs of the past two months...it really has gone quickly. I guess that is the story of life. Time moves quickly. When we are in the moment, it might not feel that way, but when we look back....it goes way to fast! We are also on referral alert....the next batch should be announced at any moment.....fingers crossed for all of you out there. I have one Cyber friend, Frances, who is using the same agency as me....her referral is due!!! I can't wait for her, and I'm praying that the next few days move quickly for her.....

From the minds of babes.....

I think this blogging thing is catching on....my almost six year old niece Addie has created a blog. Check the link on the link list....absolutely the cutest thing ever. She wrote a fictional tale about meeting Lia Rose, which I include below. Please note, the picture on her website...that baby sure is damn cute! From your mind Addie to G-d's ears.....
The First Time I Met Lia by Addison
The first time I met Lia Rose she cried hard. She was cuter than a baby that was one years old. Shake your head Lia. She pee'd in her pants and her mommy changed her diaper.And then, her mom gave her a big present. It was a big fluffy teddy bear.And she smiled so much that she hugged her mommy

Just trying to think of some things to say

I'm feeling a bit removed as of late from feeling like this baby is really coming. So many of my fellow bloggers received a ton of Holiday presents for their babies who are waiting for them. I'm not complaining, as I once mentioned, that as a Jew, we really don't do the whole present thing until the baby arrives....but I feel sad about it. Tonite I read about a single mom who is Paper chasing who received a bunch of gifts for her daughter. Does her family believe more then we do? Or am I being silly? I did get a gift from my December Cyber Shower buddy....I'll tell you about them tomorrow, when we open them "officially". Joe gave me a small book, "Inspirations for Moms", so that counts as well...otherwise, I have been very busy playing mom to my stepchildren. It's been fun. I realize how it's a mom's job to do the wash, make sure the kids are fed (Joe has been most helpful here) and to do all the Christmas shopping...whether your stepson likes his gifts or not. Also, it's the mom who gives up the television when the rest of the family is watching the other sets. Additionally, I've learned that most kids would rather eat burgers and fries then taking them for nice dinners of steaks and lamb chops. I've also learned that it's truly a step-mom's business to spoil her step kids, including buying her gorgeous thirteen year old stepdaughter DKNY Jeans, Ugg Boots and a fancy manicure complete with nail tips and a french manicure. Oh to be a mommy! I can't wait!!

1000

1,000! I am so queer, but I just hit 1,000 hits on this page. I do realize that I am probably most of them, but I thank you ...my dear readers (smile)! And tomorrow marks exactly two months since our LID....who knows how long the wait goes, but remember, I promised not to complain about that, and I won't! More later....

Hope this family doesn't mind...they just met up with their beautiful daughter Julia in China! I have been reading their blog for awhile now, and fell in love with this little girl! http://sandiegosiegel.blogspot.com

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!

Some pictures

Annie and her daddy. They make an awesome duo!!!!

Annie and her daddy

Adam and Annie

You are constantly in my thoughts

The new rules officially came out. They are pretty much what we have known. Now it's official. The documents state the those of us logged in are o'k. Thank god. I am numb knowing that I could just as easily be out. But we are in. I am not going to rehash any of those discussions right now. We have started the holiday celebration. Last nite we were down at my sister's celebrating the last nite of Hanukkah. I think the kids enjoyed themselves. It was Adam and Annie's first celebration. It's funny. I and everyone else is being very careful to not talk about Lia. My nieces, were especially careful. They usually talk about her constantly. It's just important to Adam and Annie, that we respect this time of them getting used to the whole new sister idea. But to all of my friends out there in Blog land...it's hard for me. I want to talk about her constantly. I've found myself whispering to my sister and my mother when I told them the rules officially came out. My sister and I made a private to toast to Lia last nite, celebrating her joining our family. Even though I am not speaking of her out loud, she is in my heart and thoughts constantly.

And now, a commercial message, it's my blog and I can!!!

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The Press

The press is all over the rule changes story. In fact yesterday a Wall Street Journal reporter contacted me for interview,(he found this blog!) which I was unable to do. Pretty wild...I do feel good, because all press reports indicate that we are o'k, since we are grandfathered in. My agency reiterated that as well. Here's a press clipping from the NY Times:


December 19, 2006
China Tightens Adoption Rules, U.S. Agencies Say By JIM YARDLEY
BEIJING, Dec. 20 — China is planning to issue new, tighter restrictions on foreign adoptions of Chinese children, which would prohibit adoptions by parents who are unmarried, who are obese or who are older than 50, according to adoption agencies in the United States.
The new regulations, which have not yet been formally announced by the state-run China Center of Adoption Affairs, are to take effect on May 1, 2007, and seem certain to slow the rapid rise in applications by foreign parents to adopt Chinese babies.
"This is absolutely going to affect a percentage of our clientele," said Heather Terry, a spokesperson for the Great Wall of China Adoption Agency in Austin, Texas. "This will probably affect quite a lot of people in 2007."
Ms. Terry said that foreign adoption agencies learned of the new regulations at a Dec. 8 meeting in Beijing with officials from the adoption-affairs center. Chinese officials told the foreign agencies that applications had begun to exceed the number of available babies, and that the new rules were partly intended to address that imbalance.
Ms. Terry added that China also wanted to slow foreign adoptions because "they are opening up domestic adoptions now."
The adoption-affairs center declined requests in recent weeks by The New York Times for an interview on adoption policy. An unnamed official cited by the Associated Press confirmed that the government is considering new guidelines, but declined to discuss any specifics.
Even so, adoption agencies in the United States are already telling prospective parents about the rule changes or posting the guidelines on their websites. "C.C.A.A. has decided to both reduce the number of dossiers accepted by applying stricter standards to potential adoptive families and to increase the number of children available for adoption by improving the situation of children in China’s orphanages," Jackie Harrah wrote in a letter posted on the website of Harrah’s Adoption International Mission in Spring, Texas.
Adoption agencies were told that China intended to increase the supply of adoptable children by creating a new charity named Blue Skies, which would focus on improving health care for medically fragile infants or premature babies at orphanages. An initial goal of this charity would be to buy incubators for many of the country’s orphanages, according to the Harrah’s Adoption website.
Ms. Terry said that the most significant rule change is the new ban against single parents. Up to now, Ms. Terry said, China has allowed single parents to make up as many as 8 percent of all referrals; the new rules would eliminate that quota. The age restrictions also have been tightened; China now allows people up to 55 to be considered.
Some of the new rules focus on the fiscal, physical and psychological health of prospective parents. People who are taking medication for anxiety or depression can be disqualified under the new rules. Couples will be disqualified if either person has a body fat measurement exceeding 40 percent (30 percent is generally considered obese). And a prospective adoptive family’s net worth must now exceed $80,000.
China will also disqualify families that already have more than four children in the home.
Ms. Terry said that her agency has already started applying the new guidelines. "We’re no long accepting singles," she said. "That is the most significant change."
Single parents who are already involved in the application process and can complete and file their paperwork before May 1 can remain eligible for a Chinese child.
Ms. Terry said she believed that Chinese officials were trying to act in the best interests of the adopted children. "All the agencies worldwide have to abide by these guidelines now," she said.

Her brother and sister

Well, we finally told Adam and Annie about Lia Rose. I think Joe was really nervous, and I understand why. The kids arrived yesterday afternoon from Aussie. First off, they are awesome. Annie is thirteen, but looks like she is 20. She is fantastically beautiful. Adam is almost 20 and has really matured. I am really enjoying his company. He even told us that he would like to work here for a year. He will be completely trained in Auto Mechanics in a year! I'd love to have him do that...and glad that he is open to it. I'd be so excited!!! Anyway, Joe didn't want to tell them the day of their arrival. He thought it would be too much. I was bursting with the news. And, really had a hard time not talking about it...but I had to be considerate. Finally, this afternoon, I said, Joe it's time. He said go ahead. I called them into the living room and said Adam and Annie I have some really great news for you, you are going to be shocked, so here it is..before I said it, Adam asked if I was pregnant...I said, no but close, we are adopting a baby We went on (mainly me) to tell them all about the adoption, why China and how having this baby for us means "completes the circle". Adam looked like he was in shock, and I understand. I told him that I really need her to have a big brother. He said he would be glad to do it, except when she gets in High School :) we hugged....Annie was thrilled! She was in shock, and ran over to Joe and hugged her daddy and then we hugged. I gave her the Mei Mei book, with photos of the adoption. Tonite, I gave her a lady bug bracelet. They loved the name, and why we named her Lia. And all and all I think they are really happy for us all. It will take time, and I can't expect them to be all into it ....I told them that we have a year and half to get used to the idea....and how much I'd love them to be with us when we go to China. As the weeks go on, while Annie's here, I'll fill her in on more. But for right now....let the information sink in. I am so glad they know now, and that my Lia has them.

Occupancy in 2008

So it's the new year almost. The year 2007. Pretty unbelievable if u ask me. How does time go so quickly. This year will mark for me the last year that I am not with my daughter. It just hit me that this is the last year that I will ever have to wonder, what will it be like to be a mom. The last year, of dreaming of what it will feel like. The last year of feeling like something huge was missing from my heart. A year goes by quickly. In a blink of an eye it's another day. Today I was in Hoboken. A huge new hotel/condo is going up. I noticed it said, occupancy in 2008. I stood there and stared at that building. Watched the construction workers pass bricks to each other. The whole base of the building was just being completed. You could see the makings of a beautiful structure. I started looking at that building from the inside out. Like me, it was in the beginnings of something very extraordinary. Over the course of the next year, floors and ceilings would be added on. It would grow into the gorgeous structure that the designers envisioned. In 2008, it will be complete. ..a new building will be born. For me each month that passes, it's like another floor being added on to that building. I can watch it grow and change with each passing day. The more the days pass, the closer I will be to feeling complete. In 2008 I will be ready for occupancy.

Happy Hannukah!

May the miracles begin for us all!

Words from my mother

My mother posted this in my last entry's comment box, I hope she doesn't mind...but these are great words to share:

Joe is absolutely correct Wendi, stop, stop, stop looking for the negative.I've learned in life that the negative things you fear NEVER happen.It's just your imagination going wild. I think you have to pause and take a deep breath and just wait. Center your thoughts and emotions on the coming days and the arrival of the kids and the wonderful holiday time you are planning. Do not let unsubstantiated information and imaginings put a damper on your life right now.Your loving mom

A true rollercoaster ride

Ummm, this is really hard. This is a friggin roller coaster. I guess that whether this baby was inside me growing, or growing a zillion miles away, motherhood ain't easy. Not to get into to much detail...but today sucked. I was up and down with my emotions a zillion times. I have to tell you, it ain't fun. We received an email from the agency explaining the changes a bit more. They are true. The line that freaked me (and my buddies in my Group Rose and Audrey) is that the email ended with a statement something like "we will wait and see how these new rules effect waiting families." Yikes, effect us? What the heck! We all panicked, and thank goodness for my girls...all of them Susan, Marcia, Ann Maria.,Christine and the aforementioned Audrey and Rose.....we talked this thing out....how could we not be grandfathered in? Can we still get bumped? Ugh! I ended up calling the agency and spoke to one of the girls there. She explained that the history of rule changes has excluded the logged in families. O'k, this is good. She also said, that China's program has been very fair, and they aren't like, let say Russia, who change the rules at the drop of a hat. We are waiting for the final posting by the CCAA. But, I have faith, we will be o'k....and kudos to my husband, who told me to stop looking at this like the glass is half empty. We after all ...logged in. O'k so I'm going to say something...and make sure who ever you are, hold me to this. I think this is all about taking my attention off the increasingly long wait times...this baby isn't coming before '08...so, once I learn that my Dossier is still safe and sound...I will never and I mean this, never ever complain about the long wait. I may allude to it, or simply whisper it...but I won't dwell on it. I am just grateful for the chance to hold my daughter, my Lia Rose in my arms!!! Bring it on!

Panic stricken...not me

I continue to be completely neurotic that these rule changes are going to apply to us. My agency keeps saying that they assume it won't...but my god, you know what happens when you assume sometimes. I am keeping my heart open. My daughter is in China, and I'm going to bring her home in 12, 14, 16, 18 months!!! Anyway, enough of this "kvetching". Please watch this story...it is heartwarming! About two Chinese adoptees who found out they were twin sisters....just by coincidence. http://cbs2chicago.com/video/?id=21649@wbbm.dayport.com

The rules are a changing....

Well, it looks like the rules applying to Chinese adoption are really changing. It's pretty drastic in several of the categories. Fortunately, it seems as if we are o'k, but I'm still overwhelmed by the feeling that I am just really lucky. If for instance I had waited exactly one year to go paper chase, we would have been out of luck. Thank you dear god for allowing us this opportunity now. I am sorry to those this affects. My heart sincerely goes out to you. Hopefully, there is a good reason for this, and I pray that you find your daughter or son...they are out there! Now to find out exactly what the rules are...and how it may apply to us. If at all...not be selfish, but I have to be right now. I also read that the CCAA is saying that referrals right now are going to be at that 15 to 16 month mark..I swear I can take that...but hurry up 2008...I'm ready for my Lia!!!! A friend of mine Ann Marie (http://comeundone.typepad.com/come_undone/) who is also adopting, and come to find out is adopting from the same agency as me....claims to be a little "clairvoyant" and states that she believes my adoption will come thru quicker! O'k, girlie, you better be right!!!! And yours will be right behind me.....there is something so special about this process...I am bonding with the most amazing woman...Ann Marie and I have known each other professionally for years, and come to find out that we are both going through this process.....it's truly amazing...if our work emails could talk! Yikes....our companies would fire us both for the time we spend chatting about this process...but who cares, we need each other! There is also so many others...Marcia, Mary Beth (who I've only emailed with), Frances (who is also another email pal, who is about to get a referral, and I'm going to meet when she comes through NY), the girls Audrey and Rose from my LID group, the ladies in my DTC group, Chris, Susan- who is also my coaching pal....and so many more...I hope I didn't forget you! Oh and of course my mom and sister, who have shown me incredible support. My sister, is also addicted to reading the blogs now! It's the funniest thing....especially Shana's blog and the story of Sophie, Isabella and Oliver...check out link on the left...Waiting for Sophie! My sister wakes up each day and jumps on it...like it's a reality show!!! Anyway, my babbling is going on far to long. My step kids are arriving on Saturday! We can't wait...any suggestions on how to tell them the big news...it would be most appreciated!!!

Princess Addison

Princess Addison getting ready for Sammi's Bat Mitzvah! She is just the cutest little girl in the world!

Date is wrong

The last post should read: December 11, 2006, not sure how that happened

Boy this is rough

...but then I guess all good things are. It's been a rough weekend for me...first off, I was set to attend the Bat Mitzvah of my "niece" Samantha. Sam is actually a "BFF" of my niece(s) Hayley, Cece, and Addie....I'm her "Auntie Wendi". She is an incredible young lady, much more mature for her age then the average 13 year old. In fact, sometimes I forget she is only 13. Anyway, I got up at 7:30, showered, ran to to the hair dressers for a blow out..came home, make up on, dressed up and puked. We got in to the car to drive down to the party (it's about an hour and half from me) and I nearly passed out at the wheel. I looked at Joey he looked at me and we knew, there was no way we could go. I spent the next 14 hours in bed or in the bathroom (to much information, I know)...a headache that wouldn't quit. It's 4am Sunday, and I'm finally feeling human...slight headache still, but better. Sammi, I'm so sorry I wasn't there!!! Now on top of that ...there is just craziness arupting in the Chinese Adoption world....word was on Friday that a whole list of new rules will be implemented. Apparently there are more dossiers for parents then paper-ready babies. The rules aren't in effect until May '07-or so they say. It is so sad and personally frightening. To those of you reading, please understand, that right now nothing has been confirmed except that there are rule changes...here's what the guess is of what's coming-1. No singles! (Incredibly sad. There are so many fantastic families out there headed up by single moms! I just find this so sad. Also, what about gay couples. Many of these "single" mom families are in fact being raised in very loving gay families. I find this so heart breaking.) 2. Couples must be between the ages of 30-50. Even if one is under 50, you are counted out. (Gotta tell you, this is scary. First off, I have met the most amazing moms to be out there who are over 50. SOme are first time mommies others are adopting first time with second marriages....50 is the new 40! Come on! Secondly, this would rule Joe and I out! The word is that once again does not go into effect until May '07, but my god, truly scary, we would have been ineligible!) 3. If there were divorces in your relationships, you must now be currently married five years! (O'k, another one which would have counted us out...we have been together 3.5 years( married) and Joe was divorced...) 4. Families with more then five kids are no eligible (sorry, that one I get-sorry, if I offended anyone) 5. You must have a body weight of 40 BMI and under (weight discrimination?) 6. No history of depression or anxiety (come on now! who hasn't been. I admit to the world ...I have! What infertile woman hasn't! Who doesn't feel it when they are PMS????-no more comments on this one) 7. All must have high school or beyond diplomas 6 . I think it's a $80,000 in net assets. My heart is breaking for those it effects. I am praying it won't effect me, and I have to say that if the Rumors are true, it won't. How this effects the dossiers logged in prior to May '07. Perhaps some people will drop out voluntarily. Perhaps some won't submit. It is so sad. Though they say that there are less babies then waiting parents, what they mean is there are less paper-ready babies. There are thousands of kids now who will be left in the orphanages, for longer times. I know it's no ones fault. And I know the folks at the CCAA know what they are doing in the end...but, does it have to be this rough?

Some updated information

I emailed my agency director today to get her take on the whole waiting game here. I've posted some of the highlights....
Hi Wendy: Good hearing from you. I share your angst. We all wish there was more information to share, but unfortunately there just isn't much new. The process moves forward ever so slowly at the moment. My feeling is with the current longer waits, less people will apply and soon the waiting time will decrease because there are fewer dossier. Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but China has always had periods when the waits were unbearable but eventually it turns around because they delay the process and it discourages families from applying. I know alot of families that are looking into other options because they can't bear the length of time the process is currently taking in China. Do I thnk your wait will be 18 months, I certainly hope not, but I guess anything is possible. ..... so, not sure if this makes me feel better or worse....but I guess it's just knowing something that helps...

A Quick Note

Joey is feeling so much better today! Amen!!!!

Keep it up baby!

The matches

Yeah, more referrals were made today! The referrals were for families logged in August 26, 2005 thru September 8, 2005. As you can see that is about 15 months. For those outside of adoption community, in the past, the matches would cover an entire month, say all of September. For the last year or so, it's been these partial matches, thus the slow down. There seems to be matches on average of every 29 days...sometimes less, sometimes more. We have to hope that there is a bit of pick up over the next few months. This morning I was very angry when I saw the small group that was matched. There had been rumor that all of September would go, but not the case this time around. I started feeling incredibly sorry for myself. Here I am a 45 year old (young) woman, trying to become a mommy for the longest time....and "it's just my luck" that the referrals are just dragging on...oh poor Wendi...boo hoo hoo. I was angry, frustrated, mad at the entire world. Then suddenly, like someone smacked me from above, I realized, Wendi this is so not about you. It's about the babies in the orphanages all over China. The little lost souls, waiting to be found by their forever family. As sad as it is for me, with this long wait, it's sadder for these children. Suddenly my anger and frustration disappeared, my sadness remained, but a peacefulness overcame me as I realized that Joe and I are doing something to make a difference in someone's life. It is not at all easy this wait. In fact, it's so unbelivably hard for me. It's absolutely a roller coaster ride. But, my god, at the end of this long ride, I keep the faith that the most amazing and miraculous blessing will come into our life. Our entire family will be so blessed.

Grandmom and Granddad

These are my parents, Joyce and Aaron. Aren't they cute? I don't know about you, but my mother calls me two, maybe three times a day! It's funny, she will call my office phone in the morning..if I don't answer there, she will call my cell, if I don't answer there, she will call my home phone. Since I am always at work and not home, by this point she starts paniking that somthing is wrong and she will then call my sister and ask her if she has heard from me. (I know by the way my mom is going to read this and say that I am full of dog doo, but this actually happened) My dad, well, I gave him a cell phone last Hanukah and now he calls me about once a day too! "Wendi, it's your father, call me." Click.(And by the way, I admit, if my parents, sister or husband don't answer their phones, I tend to think that something awful happened to them as well :) ) My sister and I were chatting yesterday. My parents happen to be away right now on a 10 day cruise in the Caribbean. Lori and I were both saying that we really miss them!!!! In fact, with all that is going on right now with Joe, the adoption stress and everything, I really need my mommy and daddy to talk to! Lori agreed...we missed them! But not to worry, my parents found a way to call us both...me twice today....from the ship! God bless them....they are adorable and I love them with all my heart. Now have fun on your cruise, and come home soon!!! I miss you!!! And when Lia comes, they are going to absolutely eat her up!!! They love their grandchildren!!!

One month down

I just realized that we are one month since our LID....I guess we can say, honestly 12 to 13 more to go...but we do have one behind us. And two since DTC. I just have to hold on to the thought that time will go quicky, and when I start feeling anxious about the wait remember how much time has actually passed. There should be a stack of referrals coming this week, and rumor has it it could be a large batch. I will hold the hope that this is true.

Joe is home from the hospital now. We ended up spending two nights in a hotel as our heater broke! I was concerned that the house was to cold, and in combination with the steps he had to climb to get in here, this worked out as the best option. He slowly walked up the steps to get in here, and I am quite sure that each day will be easier.

No new news on my Auntie. It's her 88th birthday today and I just send her so much love and prayers. I spoke to her daughter last nite to check in with her. She told me how much her mother loved me. I know that we both hold special places in our hearts for each other. God willing she will pull through and be there next year when Lia comes home.

A heavy heart

As I write this post, one of my most favorite and beloved relatives is sick in a hospital. She has always been so special to me. Right now, she is "giving up". She physically is ailing but not in a way that should make her as sick as she is right now. The doctors can't explain it and are only saying that this is what happens to people when they get older. Please Auntie...don't give up. You are so special and so loved by so many. I wish I could be there to tell you this in person, but I can't right now, as I have to take care of Joe....but I need you know how much you are loved by me and by our entire family. You have always been like a great piece of birthday cake to me.....a sunny day after many rainy ones.....a blanket on a warm bed. You are my Aunt Reeva. You have lit up my life and my heart since I was just a young girl...and when I became an adult, we shared so many fun times. I spoke to you two weeks ago and you asked me when my baby was coming....I told you that she wouldn't be here for at least a year. Please know how much I want you to meet our new angel. You will always be a part of my life and my baby's....please stick around so she can feel your warmth as I always have..do not give up the fight! We love you way to much.

A Chinese Orphanage

This is a video of filming inside of a Chinese Orphanage. Can you believe this is how Lia Rose maybe living right now.....oh baby, we will be there soon. Mommy, Daddy, Adam, Annie, Grandmom, Grandad, God Grandad Mikey and God Grandmom Dorothy, Auntie Lori, Uncle Greg, Hayley, Cece, Addie and Molly!

Daddy gonna walk soon

Oh poor Joe, he is in alot of day after surgery pain...but all to be expected. As I write this at 10pm on Thanksgiving nite, I sure am hoping he is getting some sleep. It's really hard to see the one you love in so much pain. At one point, I actually cried to one of the nurses. It really broke my heart. I just wanted to put myself into the bed and be the one in pain. When I left tonite he was feeling a bunch better, so hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for him to really get walking. Next to him in the room is an old man, about 83. He has been in the hospital for four weeks...once he learned that Joe and I would listen, he wouldn't shut up! But, I was glad we were there for him. He seemed so lonely and it was good to be able to just lend your ear and realize what a difference that might mean to someone. We told him about our upcoming baby adoption and he asked "Why not in America"...(us China adoptive moms and dads hate that question) I looked him in the eye and simply said, because that is where my daughter is. He said to me....I get it! By the way, I have to make a huge admission to my sister, my nieces and Kristen Johanson...I ate a piece of low fat, pumpking pudding pie tonite! It's a holiday!!!! I just said on the this blog that I wasn't going to eat sweets, and I did!!! O'k, I start a gain tomorrow....my friend Daria who lives around the corner from invited me to some turkey and stuffing tonite...on my way home from the hospital, I didn't feel like being alone and joined her family...and indulged!!! I needed it. Happy Thanksgiving to you all....(By the way, the Rumor Queen website www.chinaadopttalk.com is reporting referrals next week! And they may refer a huge batch.....this is very good reason to be thankful!

Thanksgiving thanks to Dr. Unis

Yeah!!! Joe's hip surgery was a success. He was able to receive a minimally invasive procedure that our doctor does. It will save him hopefully weeks of recovery. We had a long day at the hospital but when I left him he was drowsy and had already walked today. Tomorrow, instead of Turkey we will be walking the halls of St. Lukes helping him become stronger... the pain should start to subside....Joe is ready to be the "old Joe" again. Can you imagine how it must feel to be in such pain that you have start loosing perspective on what is is like to feel good? To be limited in your activity level. A huge thank god that we were able to have this procedure done. I hope it changes his life for the better.....in other news, it's my darling parents 47th Wedding Anniversary! Happy happy Anniversary Grandmom and Granddad.....

Chocolate or lack of

Time does seem to move quickly. I mean, I have a ways to go in this incredible wait, but it's almost one month since our Log In Date! So much of this process is behind me....it's really awesome to look at it that way. I have decided to set up some goals for myself during this waiting period. I am absolutely not going to go crazy and buy baby clothes and furniture. I just can't do it. And like I mentioned earlier in this blog, in my Jewish upbringing that is a no no anyway. However, that doesn't mean that if I see something really really special that I won't pick it up....I will and then hide it! (smile)
Some of the things I am intend to do are:

Get myself into a good, not break the habit, habit of working out each day. By working out I do mean some sort of cardio activity. Perhaps it's not a heavy duty workout at the gym, but at least 30 minutes of walking. In fact, my friend/neighbor Simone and I have begun walking early in the morning. This morning we were out at 5am, yes, 5am. I had to go to sleep last nite at 8pm to do so, but it felt good this morning. I think it's important for me to get into this habit now, so that when Lia arrives I have some good patterns set up. Also, I want to be as healthy as possible and energetic when she gets here, so exercise is absolutely essentially.

I have also decided to give up sweets...I am talking about cookies, cakes, pies, chocolate and ice cream...until she gets here. I know, I am crazy, but first off, it's a good way to lose some weight, but secondly, it will give me something to focus on rather then the craziness of focusing on the long weight, I mean wait (freudian? )...I'll focus on will power and being strong and not breaking to eat that delicious piece of apple pie with brown sugar and ice cream...yikes!!! Can I really do this? I have to admit, that I might from time to time have a Weight Watchers treat...but they don't count! I know, I am absurd, that's just me

And most importantly, I want to find my niche professionally that I'll be able to continue to earn a nice income, with the benefit of some time working from home so I can take care of my daughter (more on this topic later)

Anyway, enough for now. Joe is upstairs sleeping. He is nervous about surgery, so I am letting him rest. I can't wait till he feels good again! So much to look forward to.

Blogger is acting up

Hi all. It's been awhile since I posted, but I have been having Blogger issues.
Not much to report on the adoption front. It's the wait...the cool thing is we are very close to being one month closer to Lia....although, not sure how many more months to go.
Joe's surgery is this coming Wednesday. I must tell you, the guy has been in so much pain. It's unbelievable actually how he has put up with it. I think he just came to the point where he couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, we have so much in life to look forward to, and it's important that he can enjoy life to the fullest. The surgery is the day before Thanksgiving, and then we will spend the Thanksgiving weekend at the hospital. I'm optimistic, that all will go well, and he will be bouncing back before we know it. On December 16, my stepkids will arrive. That is something we have both been looking forward to for so long. We will tell them about Lia. I can't wait...it's the news we both have been waiting to share. I am hopeful they will be as excited about it as I want them to be. Anyway, more later....

The blessing that is Sydney

I haven't been blogging over the past few days because I was preoccuppied with family. My sister, her hubby and the girls came in and we had a great time. It was also great way to stay off the computer and not obsess about the adoption or Joe's surgery....Lori and crew left on Saturday morning, but I got to "kidnap" my niece Sydney for the nite. Sydney is 11 1/2 and this was the first time we had just "Wendi and Sydney" time. She usually is stuck with one of her sisters, or just didnt' want to be a part from them. This time was just for us! However, Sydney spent the last 24 hours "teaching" me the top things that I need to know about motherhood and being a mommy to my daughter, Lia...I will share with you, this were pretty much all direct quotes from her (smile)

1. Never hug her in person in the middle of Garden State Plaza
2. Never kiss her cheek or head in public places
3. Take her to the Bagel Buffet
4. Buy her clothes from Abercrombie and Finch never at Walmart
5. Make sure her hair is a bob cut when she is around five, then it should be long from 10 on
6. Make sure that I brush her hair for her when she asks
7. Let her have bubble baths every nite in our big jacuzzi style bathtub
8. Do not under any circumstances share with anyone in public that she is cute or that she made the cheerleading squad
9. Do not hold her hand unless it's a matter of safety
10. DO NOT ever speak Yiddish in public or sing or dance! (No Gut ta nus!)

I am telling you, I learned alot this weekend! And last nite, when Sydney asked me to sleep with her and snuggle. She let me wrap my arms around her and she said, "Wendi you are going to be the best mommy in the world!"

Nasty mommy

O'k, I admit it. I am a foul mood. Yes, there is a ton of things going on in my life....too many too mention, but adding to that is the fact that my hormones are complety out of wack. I am a 45 1/2 year old woman.....so my guess is that my PMS is coupled with Pre Menopause, so as you can imagine it "ain't' great. In fact, it's pretty terrible. And it's been going on for days...in fact fourteen of them!!! Don't ask, but it seems like it is never going to end. So I admit...I have limited will power.....forget counting Weight Watchers points...I want to count how bags of popcorn are left. Additionally, I get mad at the smallest things....think everyone hates me...wonder if I am ever going to see my baby and from time to time, I think the world is crazy and I am the only sane one! There is this woman who rides the bus with me and every morning she seats next to her friend. And, imagine it's 7am, your still half asleep, you just want to relax and you hear constant chatter about ridiculous things! I wanted to physically bunch her in the fact this morning!!! That would be great...an adoptive mommy to be on charges of physical assault....g-d, forgive me...I am a Premenopusal, pre-menstrual mother to be!!!

The movie the cook and the blog

Joe and I had a great day today. He works a lot of weekends, but today we had a chance to just be together. Of course, tomorrow he is working, but today it was just nice to hang out with him.

We saw a funny, hysterical, not for the children movie (Borak) and then believe or not I made dinner. I say believe it or not because I am not known for my cooking, but I did make a lovely salad, my sister's greek salad recipe, pasta and veggies. Including homemade tomato sauce. When my step kids are here for the holidays I promise myself to cook more. Plus when Joe is recovering from the hip replacement, he deserves some good cooking....maybe we should order out after all! Oy! I have to become somewhat more domestic especially by next fall, when Lia day is approaching.

I changed the look of this blog tonite. I feel that it symbolizes the next stage in this process...who am I kidding, I was bored and playing around with templates....what do you think? Notice the counter on the bottom, that will track are Log In Date to referral. I can't wait till it says 300 days...hopefully the referral will be just around the corner. I am also adding some links to some of my favorite blogs. Make sure to check them. It does get addicting.

Some of the other loves of my life

For anyone that knows me well, you know that I adore my nieces. They are growing up quickly, right before my eyes! I am so proud of them all! I just want to congratulate my nieces Hayley and Sydney who made their middle school cheerleading team. Here's a conversation I had with Halzz when she told me. "Wow, that is great that you made the team Hayley, but can I be honest with you? " I asked. "Sure', she replied. I went on, "I never thought of you as a cheerleading type, more of the athletic type." (Hayley plays soccer, softball and other assorted jocky sports). "Yeah," she replied, "But Wendi, cheerleading is not what it used to be in the olden days." "Oh really", I answered. "Yes", Hayley continued, "It's evolved!" Here's a photo from Halloween! That's Sam on the left my "step niece", Sydney, Hayley and Little Addie as Dorthy.

Half way through

I started realizing today that we are really half way through this journey. I can't really believe how far we have come. I don't think a year ago at this time I realized that this would happen. Not at all, in fact.I was actually thinking that motherhood was never in the picture. There was this big huge hole inside of me that not a thing could fill. I was with my friend Kristen Johanson tonite. We had a few drinks to celebrate her new job and my LID date. I told her that there is no doubt in my mind that I was meant to have this baby this very way. There was some discussion on some message boards today that some felt it wasn't right to tell their adopted child that "they were meant to come together this way." Those that felt this way explained that they thought this was cruel because this would mean that it was meant to be that these babies were left on on the streets and given up. I understand where they are coming from. But, things happen in our lives (good and bad) sometimes for us to get to the place where we are supposed to be. My baby and I are two souls that belong together. I look at it spirtually for that explanation. I truly believe that this is a purpose that I was destined for. I didn't care to see it before, but the fact that it feels so right confirms this for me. The same way that I met a stranger from another country and a year and a half later, I marry him, he is my soulmate...that is the same way I can explain this daughter of mine. Lia Rose may not be a "real" person right now, but in my heart she is as real as the baby sleeping in my neighbor's crib. It's real love that I am feeling, and however long it takes, she is the baby that was meant to be for me.

Congratulations to those who got referrals.

Today families logged in 8/10-8/25/05 got their babies!!! That marked a bit of increase in the numbers of referrals. I am looking at some of the babies now...they are wonderful!!! It's so exciting to be able to follow along with these parents as they meet their babies. Congraulations!My hubby's hip replacement surgery is set...November 22nd...my parent's annivesary. Looks like we will be eating turkey at the hospital this year! Next, closer to a referral!

LID

It's done, we are logged in officially 10/27/06. I've been celebrating so much along the way that no one outside of the adoption community really understands the significance of this. But this is the big one....basically, we are told that it is "about 14 months" from this date to referral. Let's hope the line speeds up...somewhere in China my file sits on the bottom of hundreds of others. And what is equally as strange is that there is a file of babies, and Lia Rose is one of them..today was an interesting day besides this huge news. My hubby is going to go ahead and get a hip replacement...in three weeks. O'k, if anyone knows me well, they know that I am the type of person that really plans things out, organizes and does tons of research. My hubby is basically one of those types that doesn't dwell...and once he makes up his mind, it's done. So, it's going to be an interesting four weeks before surgery. The good news is that he will feel better. My step kids will be here in six weeks, so he can relax with them and recover. It is the less invasive surgery, so the recovery is much quicker. He has really put up with the pain in this hip for far to long. It's our hope that when Lia Rose is here...he can keep up with her. Tonite was also my first "cyber shower"...a bunch of us in Yahoo DTC group got together, mailed each other gifts and then opened them tonite. I got my first gifts for Lia..three beautiful books which I read out loud and pretended to read to her. I know, I am nuts.